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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let DS go to a birthday party?

44 replies

lulumama · 30/09/2007 11:58

It is a go karting party, a 90 minute drive away. Parents of the birthday boy taking the children, in 2 cars. I don't know the parents, have never really spoken to them... also, 2 adults, with 8 ,7 - 8 year old boys, go karting, just seems like a recipe for disaster. Just don;t feel comfortable letting DS go with virtual strangers. Cannot take him myself as don't think a go karting place is safe for 2 year old DD to spend half a day.

am i being neurotic?

am i being unreasonable?

this child is not one that DS even really mentions day to day, am amazed he has been invited, TBH.

OP posts:
BarbieGirl · 30/09/2007 12:01

I wouldn't let him go especially as its 90 mins away, what if something happens, i.e. your DS has an accident then its a long way to drive.

There will be plenty of other parties for him to attend.

LIZS · 30/09/2007 12:02

Seems a long way off. If you don't know the parents and he won't be bothered not going then yanbu but generally these places are pretty safe and fun.

mrsmerton · 30/09/2007 12:03

No, you are not being unreasonable. Follow your instinct. Who organises a party that far away?

Dropdeadfred · 30/09/2007 12:03

he will hear all about how fun it was from the other boys though....

edam · 30/09/2007 12:05

I think you are being a bit neurotic (assuming the cars accommodate four children each safely).

Just make sure ds and the parents have your phone number. Or drop him off and then go somewhere with the 2yo - you don't have to hang around the go-karting place all day.

Original poster
lulumama · 30/09/2007 12:07

also he has a peanut allergy, which is another reason that him being 90 minutes away is not great.

yes, he will hear DDF, but i have discussed this with him, so it will not be a surprise when he hears about it.

thanks for the reassurances.

OP posts:
Original poster
lulumama · 30/09/2007 12:07

I don;t know what cars they have edam, nor do i know the area where it is, so not that enamoured of the idea of trawling round with something to do with DD

OP posts:
LIZS · 30/09/2007 12:23

Where is it ? Maybe a Mnetter could suggest somewhere to take dd. Most of these places are on industrial estates with other attractions like soft play nearby. If he's keen to go I think I'd try to find a way of taking him but do understand it may not be feasible.

chloesmumtoo · 30/09/2007 12:23

Hi lulumana, no I dont think I would let him go. I have dd with peanut allergy,she is 5yrs and I still accompany her to parties. Dont trust anyone else. 90 minutes away is a long time too for any child. Just a nearby party made us annoyed once, was told a mini bus was taking our ds and other children for transport and afterwards discovered they didnt have one and my ds shared a seat belt with another boy all squashed together. Never said anything to mother but was so angry as my ds had my mobile no in his pocket and we were at that time currently shopping in the same town. Never let him go with her again!

Original poster
lulumama · 30/09/2007 12:35

thanks ladies

it is in st anns

OP posts:
prettypurpledaisy · 30/09/2007 12:41

I was in same position a couple of years ago, I was not happy about son being driven by people I didn't know so I drove him there and took dd to a shopping centre. We had fun and so did he. I must confess I spent most of the time worrying but he was really keen to go and I didn't want my fear to stop him. He was hopeless on the go karts but had a lovely day out nevertheless.

MaryAnnSingleton · 30/09/2007 12:42

YANBU

crunchie · 30/09/2007 13:03

IMHO ypu are being umreasonable - sorry. I think it s a great opportunity for you to call up theother parents, have a chat, make new friends, explain the allergy and then decide.

However I also understand some people are more nurotic than me, it just wouldn't occur to me to say no

The nut allergy does add aditional stress here and hence I am not being more forceful in saying let him go, BUT I do think he is old enough to go

Majorca · 30/09/2007 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KerryMum · 30/09/2007 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
lulumama · 30/09/2007 13:42

crunchie.. i have lots of friends ! don;t really want to feel obliged to make more !

i don;t know where the nearest hospital is

i don;t know the area

i think if he went i would be too worried

thanks for your thoughts

i will do something fun with him and DD on the day

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 30/09/2007 13:52

I would be concerned for a whole number of reasons let alone the fact that your son has a peanut allergy.

Do you know what types of cars are being driven to this venue?. 4 x 4, estate, saloon car etc?. I would be concerned about the number of passengers; eight children between two cars could mean each car could possibly become overloaded.

I would therefore decline the invite.

RubySlippers · 30/09/2007 13:53

hi lulu
no, YANBU in light of his allergy

glitterchick · 30/09/2007 14:06

I understand how you feel. He's your DS and I would not let my DSs go either - I'd be terrified. If your DS is feeling left out the fact that he's not going arrange something else for him to do that day.

lou33 · 30/09/2007 14:12

could you not get someone to have dd while you go and watch him karting?

lou33 · 30/09/2007 14:13

or call the karting entre and ask if they have someone trained in the use of epi pens in case of emergency?

Original poster
lulumama · 30/09/2007 16:04

no-one to have DD, DH at work, parents away, in laws working, don;t think it is fair on my friends who have their family time to have my DD for 6 hours or so...

not just the allergy issue, it;s the car issue too

i think i'll take him bowling

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 30/09/2007 16:05

YANBU

I would share your misgivings

crunchie · 30/09/2007 16:32

lulu obviously you didn't want your question answered, you simply wanted people to say no no OF COURSE you are not being unreasonable. Why bother asking teh question if you are going to lash out at anyone who doesn't agree with you

crunchie · 30/09/2007 16:33

sorry didn't mean lash out. I meant not tak notice of