Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let DS go to a birthday party?

44 replies

lulumama · 30/09/2007 11:58

It is a go karting party, a 90 minute drive away. Parents of the birthday boy taking the children, in 2 cars. I don't know the parents, have never really spoken to them... also, 2 adults, with 8 ,7 - 8 year old boys, go karting, just seems like a recipe for disaster. Just don;t feel comfortable letting DS go with virtual strangers. Cannot take him myself as don't think a go karting place is safe for 2 year old DD to spend half a day.

am i being neurotic?

am i being unreasonable?

this child is not one that DS even really mentions day to day, am amazed he has been invited, TBH.

OP posts:
belgo · 30/09/2007 16:35

Where is lulumama lashing out?

She's far too nice to lash out at anyone.

Lulumama - YANBU. I agree, you should arrange for him to do something else that is fun instead.

Original poster
lulumama · 30/09/2007 16:37

sorry, where have i not taken notice?

i didn;t expect everyone to say, oh that is absolutely reasonable.. i wanted to hear other opionions, and if i was being absolutely unreasonable in the majority view, i would have rethought things.

as the majority seem to understand and think my misgivings are reasonable , i feel better about this

i have addressed what has been suggested and i don;t think i have lashed out!

i don;t have anyone to have dd, i don;t feel comfortable taking her to a new place, with potentially nothing to do, i don;t feel comfortable with him being driven there by virtual strangers and he has a potentially life threatening allergy, that i would be relying on other parents to deal with if necessary

so on balance, i am not going to let him go

OP posts:
Original poster
lulumama · 30/09/2007 16:37

lesson learnt : don;t post in this topic again

OP posts:
Original poster
lulumama · 30/09/2007 16:43

mean i am not going post here again!

OP posts:
FabulousKbear · 30/09/2007 16:46

Lulumama - bit late to join in now but I would not have let my child go regardless of PA. Too far away, esp with people you don't know. Our children are precious and I am not going to feel like shit for wanting to protect them (I've a similar dilemma with DD who is also 8 but the journey wasn't as long and the mum told me she didn't have enough car seats for everyone but they would be in seatbelts - er, booster seats are the LAW FFS).

Anyway, if I have concerns I stick to my guns and either take them myself or make other plans. The kids get over it.

Original poster
lulumama · 30/09/2007 16:48

thanks belgo

thanks all

I am going to take him bowling, then on the pier train so he will have a fun day and DD can be involved too

OP posts:
glitterchick · 30/09/2007 17:04

Sounds like a much better idea!

MarsLady · 30/09/2007 17:09

lulu lulu.... they grow they go!

Let the boy go. Call and talk to the mother. That should settle you.

Smithagain · 30/09/2007 18:34

Do you have children with life-threatening allergies, MarsLady? "Letting go" becomes a different sort of issue when they are still too young to administer their own medication. Which I assume he would be, at eight years old.

I think you have made the right decision Lulumama. DD1 is five and allergic to bee stings. DH is allergic to nuts, so she is on a nut-free diet.

Personally I would have to have a LOT of confidence in the parents' driving, childcare skills and first aid knowledge before letting my child go on a party like this. It doesn't sound as if you have that degree of confidence and you would be worried sick.

I am about to let DD1 go on a birthday outing about 30 minutes away. But the parents are both first aid trained and used to caring for multiple children (mum is a childminder). The activity is not hazardous and they have been very up front about asking for guidance about handling her allergies. So I'm letting her go, but that is at the very limit of my comfort zone.

peskipixie · 30/09/2007 18:38

i didnt let ds go to a go karting party in our home town cos i didnt trust the parents. he is also 8 but has aspergers. the parents dont know what it is and wont listen if i tell them (have tried), so i thought if something goes wrong they wont be able to deal with it so i said no. he has got over it yanbu

MarsLady · 30/09/2007 18:46

Smith............ I was talking to lulumama as a friend... not a faceless internet entity. Also I simply read the OP.

Lulu will know what I meant and what my tone was.

Smithagain · 30/09/2007 18:48

Marslady - OK, point taken. Didn't know you two were friends and am a bit sensitive about allergies, as you may have guessed!!

Apologies for the tone of my post.

MarsLady · 30/09/2007 18:50

That's okay darling! If I wasn't a lazy moo and read through all of the threads I'd've seen the peanut allergy.

Original poster
lulumama · 30/09/2007 18:52

group hug ? anyone?

goodness, never would use the word lazy to describe mars !!

OP posts:
MarsLady · 30/09/2007 18:54

sod orf lulu...... was about to have a bunfight.... or was that eat buns? I confuse myself!

Original poster
lulumama · 30/09/2007 18:59

oh,i;ll have a {nut free} bun!

OP posts:
Smithagain · 30/09/2007 19:47

Aw! Did I miss the cakes? Could do with one now the kids are asleep ...

AitchTwoOh · 30/09/2007 19:51

i wouldn't, i don't think... seems an awful long way to go.

Original poster
lulumama · 30/09/2007 21:26

thanks all

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page