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Liking underage girls pics on Instagram

91 replies

swingyourpants79 · 23/07/2020 11:28

Am I being unreasonable to be concerned as I noticed that 2 of my males friends are following a 15 year old girl on Instagram and are both liking and commenting on how 🔥 she is 🤦🏼‍♀️ I don't think they realise she is only 15, but these are 40 year old men! Now they aren't naked pics but some are pretty suggestive and she is a beautiful girl!
Do I just ignore I ever saw and do nothing? I really can't have a conversation with either of them about it, as then I'm just going to look like a weirdo for noticing 😂 (I've had a lot of spare time recently 😂)
Or do I message the girl and suggest she makes it obvious on Instagram that she is 15 !
I know it's not really any of my business, but now I've seen it, I can't get it off my mind! Help!

OP posts:
ShinyFootball · 24/07/2020 00:54

Half term that makes sense.

The case I mentioned before seems to indicate that it's not that way- in that case the underage girl who had been talked into it by a grown man was advised she could be charged, while there was no mention of even trying to find who the man was.

It's a very deep seated thing, so embedded that people don't notice it, to blame the girl rather than the man.

Eg on this thread there have been an awful lot of posters taking the stance of- men do this there's nothing to be done about it, and focusing on the girl.

This is the same attitude that has schoolgirls in the UK being told not to wear knee high socks to school, girls in USA being chucked out of prom essentially because they have the body associated with being older, and along to more restrictive rules on clothing for women in other countries.

When I see a girl in school uniform, even if (shocker) she is wearing knee high socks and has rolled her skirt up, I see a schoolgirl. The fact that these things have to be stamped down on because some (and it's a minority but not a small one) see them as sexy, fair game, asking for it, provocative etc is a problem with men.

And you can improve that. EG the levels of Street harassment vary a lot around the world. These things can be made less socially acceptable. Like drink driving was. Putting it on girls is rubbish, and lets men carry on. Nothing to do with them, see? While girls and women's lives are judged and restricted because of it.

FlorenceFlounce · 24/07/2020 01:12

I think that you have to look at it in terms of risk of harm to this particular girl.

If OP knows two men out of a few thousand following this girl who are making inappropriate comments (and that’s just the stuff in public) then it’s safe to assume there are many other men following her doing the same thing.

If OP simply tells the two blokes she knows, she’s helped them avoid looking bad but done absolutely nothing to help protect the girl herself from ongoing safeguarding risk.

It is not “victim blaming” to believe that the fastest way to protect this girl from further risk of coercion and exploitation is to try and get her to stop posting in the way that she is.

Yes, I would contact her and/or her parent if I was genuinely concerned.

ShinyFootball · 24/07/2020 01:28

She's not helping them, they won't stop!

Where does she live? Who is she? Are her parents taking the pics and running the account? The photos are not illegal, and we don't want it to be illegal for 15 yo girls to eg wear a bikini while standing in a certain way.

The appetite of so many men for girls who are young is a global problem. A massive issue.

I know that sounds rubbish but it's all very murky. If she eg is being exploited by her parents/ boyfriend and lives in I dunno South America then realistically what's the answer? For women in the UK.

FlamedToACrisp · 24/07/2020 01:38

Why don't you set up an account under another name and contact your friends anonymously to tell them she's under age? You might hint the account is likely to be under investigation if you want to scare them off, but realistically, you shouldn't have to.

Sadly, I doubt you could do anything to protect the girl - I expect she is flattered by the attention, and she's hardly going to close her account because a random stranger tells her she is putting herself at risk.

ShinyFootball · 24/07/2020 01:42

Can insta read DM s?

Other option is report to insta say 15, suspect she is receiving obscene messages via their platform.

Don't know if they'd do anything

She'd just rereg under a different account.

ItWasNotOK · 24/07/2020 05:00

Even if they assume she's 18 or whatever, it's still gross. I can't imagine going on instagram and liking random pictures of young men. Why are men so disgusting?

MorganKitten · 24/07/2020 11:35

@ShinyFootball

Can insta read DM s?

Other option is report to insta say 15, suspect she is receiving obscene messages via their platform.

Don't know if they'd do anything

She'd just rereg under a different account.

They would see that as trolling as the girl isn’t reporting it.
swingyourpants79 · 24/07/2020 14:13

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

Or do I message the girl and suggest she makes it obvious on Instagram that she is 15!

Jesus Christ. Have a think about what you wrote! Your friends are disgusting and you're too not far behind them.

Really? Ok babes!
OP posts:
swingyourpants79 · 24/07/2020 14:20

I messaged one of them as I know him better and he didn't realise and il wait and see if he removes her!

Don't really know why I said to speak to her mum lol, I was panicking! I'm sure she will be on her social media, but I'm not the fbi!

I looked at some of the men making comments and loads of them are a lot older. It's not my problem anymore. If that's what 15 year old girls do now, rather have dirty old men leering at them before they have even left school to keep their follower count high, then that is up to them!

Why are men so gross!

OP posts:
Thurmanmurman · 24/07/2020 14:32

It’s gross but if she’s posting pics of herself ‘pulling up a thong’, she’s doing it for a male audience surely? not for her friends and family to enjoy. I’d tell your friends they’re disgusting sure, but I don’t think we should be under any illusion that this girl is unaware that grown men are looking at her pics and perving, give her a bit more credit!

literdan · 24/07/2020 14:40

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BubblyBarbara · 24/07/2020 22:13

I messaged one of them as I know him better and he didn't realise and il wait and see if he removes her!

It’s so easy to have multiple accounts on Instagram, the app makes it a piece of cake. He’ll set up another account solely to follow women and keep his usual personal account politically correct for snoopy friends

ShinyFootball · 24/07/2020 22:26

There's no point in telling the men. Wtf do they care. Loads of men lust after girls from puberty up. There's a reason barely legal is a thing, Sam fox was on page 3 at 16, and schoolgirls in uniform get hassled all the time.

The idea that will GAF is naive. She's 15. She looks young. Because she is. That's why they like her. They are in their 40s
Possibly daughters? Grim.

I would not want to be friends with men like that. But I probably am, because most of them hide it better.

ItWasNotOK · 24/07/2020 23:47

I find it sad that people say the girls know what they're doing. At 15, I had no clue about sexuality and power and power dynamics. They might look like they know what they're doing but they are likely extremely naive, especially compared to a 40 year old.

BilboBercow · 25/07/2020 14:57

You're so right op, teenage girls are absolutely the problem here. If only they'd stop being so sexy they'd never get abused by middle aged men.

swingyourpants79 · 27/07/2020 02:34

@BilboBercow

You're so right op, teenage girls are absolutely the problem here. If only they'd stop being so sexy they'd never get abused by middle aged men.
Yeah I never said that! 🤦🏼‍♀️
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