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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find it weird people Zoom from their bed?

84 replies

AliceinBunnyland · 23/07/2020 01:10

I have been on a number of Zoom calls, mostly work related, but also with friends and groups I'm part of.

With work, most people seem to dial in from a desk or table. Sometimes even the garden.

On the others I've seen people propped up on their bed, which includes in a work quiz and a group meeting where I hadn't "met" or spoken to a few of the other people before. If it was just friends I'd find it less strange.

Not a big deal and not having a go, just interested.

I think working from home has meant that many of us see into one another's homes when we wouldn't usually.

OP posts:
SantaClaritaDiet · 23/07/2020 13:46

Sitting on a well-made bed because that's the only quiet room in the house, I understand. I have done meetings with people who were sitting in their car, either to avoid noise or to avoid tidying up Grin

Showing an unmade bed or looking a mess is puzzling in a work situation: if you were in the office ,you would have found the time to get dressed!

Mind you, I have viewed many properties where the occupants didn't bother making the bed or tidying up before viewings, so some people obviously are not fussed. There's another thread about people who enjoy staying in pjs all day. If you behave on zoom as you would in real life (so stay in pjs when friends come around, or having friends in your bedroom), it's consistent.

babybunny123 · 23/07/2020 14:09

one colleague on a zoom meeting had a clothes maiden in the background full of her smalls !!!!

purplelila2 · 23/07/2020 15:01

YABU not everyone has a large house with space for an office.

I often work from my bedroom for peace and quiet with the kids downstairs.

HOkieCOkie · 23/07/2020 15:07

Not really if you think my friend has her nanny with the kids in the main living areas. Her husband is a trader so he needs to be at the office so she’s in her bedroom. She’s got to sit somewhere!!

SerenityNowwwww · 23/07/2020 15:07

On the other side... I was in the same room when someone was on a call (audio only) and it really sounded as if they had taken the call in the loo and were having a very large pee. We were trying not to giggle.

Turned out he was doing some washing up and it was the tap. Or so he said.

HowFastIsTooFast · 23/07/2020 15:19

My colleague is usually sat on her bed when we Zoom, her DP is WFH home too and they both sit at the dining table to work but when one or another is on a call they go in the bedroom so as not to disturb each other. Doesn't make any difference to her ability to talk to us!

Original poster
AliceinBunnyland · 23/07/2020 15:56

@HowFastIsTooFast

My colleague is usually sat on her bed when we Zoom, her DP is WFH home too and they both sit at the dining table to work but when one or another is on a call they go in the bedroom so as not to disturb each other. Doesn't make any difference to her ability to talk to us!
No of course it doesn't but personally I would let DH have the dining room table for a Zoom call rather than his colleagues seeing our bedroom.

For a while we were both working on the dining room table and we each moved to another space when one of us was on a Zoom call.

I understand it's not a always possible, and also that people have different views(!), but where it is possible I find it almost a bit too personal for my colleagues and I to see one another's bedrooms.

Also you can sit in the bedroom and even sit on the bed without looking like you are virtually lying on the bed I.e. sit up!

OP posts:
Spidey66 · 23/07/2020 16:03

I only occasionally WFH.

I've had video meetings and sometimes they're first thing.

I may not have had a shower or cleaned my teeth yet and I don't bother with make up when I'm WFH, however I'm always up and dressed. I have found it mildly disconcerting when a colleague was in a dressing gown. OK i get that sometimes there may not be much space and that occasionally you can hear someones baby/dog etc in the background, but at least be dressed!

IHeartSusanDey · 23/07/2020 16:15

It's not weird to zoom in the bedroom. My husband is in meetings with his overseas manager and team all day so he is in the office. I have four very young children in the kitchen/living room so there is simply nowhere else for me to go! Unless I sit on the toilet which WOULD be weird!

Original poster
AliceinBunnyland · 23/07/2020 18:07

It's not weird to zoom in the bedroom.

It's clearly all a matter of opinion. I find it weird but, like I said, I'm used to a more formal work environment and probably a bit uptight Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
AliceinBunnyland · 23/07/2020 18:11

Also it's not just being in the bedroom that I find so weird but, more specifically, being on the bed half sitting / half lying on the bed. It's just a bit too cas for me. If you can only Zoom from your bedroom then sit up FFS (unless you have a medical reason not to) Hmm

OP posts:
HowFastIsTooFast · 23/07/2020 19:46

@AliceinBunnyland In the example I gave they both have full workstations with PCs set up at the dining table, if my colleague's DP got up & left the room whenever she had a video call, or vice versa, the other one would never get any work done! All she needs to call us is her phone and a notebook, of course she's the one that moves to the only other room they have (one bedroom open plan flat)

All my Skype/Zoom calls take place in my bedroom as I don't have a dining table or breakfast bar, my dressing table is now my desk. Not that you can see much aside from the wall behind me, the bed is always made and everything tidy, just in case.

tabulahrasa · 23/07/2020 20:01

“If you can only Zoom from your bedroom then sit up FFS (unless you have a medical reason not to)“

How do you know they’re don’t though? Sitting with no back support leaves me pretty much doubled over for the rest of the day... but mostly my back is fine, my colleagues wouldn’t know I have a bit of a dodgy back, why would they?

doadeer · 23/07/2020 20:09

It's my only option. We don't have many choice of rooms. I don't think you can see I'm on my bed though as headboard looks like it could be a sofa

corythatwas · 23/07/2020 21:02

I find it weird but, like I said, I'm used to a more formal work environment and probably a bit uptight

So what would you do if you had a husband taking constant business calls in the dining room and a daughter panting and groaning loudly on the living room floor? The lavatory really doesn't seem very respectable and that is the only other option.

theduchessstill · 23/07/2020 21:29

Christ, you sound so uptight I'm so glad I don't work with you. There's a pandemic - that's the reason we're all working from home. It has never occurred to me to give a flying shit which room my colleagues zoom from or that they would care where I am. Yes, showing a mess, in any room, is a bit unprofessional. as is lying down or being in night clothes, but siting upright, fully clothed, with a bed headboard showing is an absolute non-event , surely.

Delaberge · 23/07/2020 21:50

@corythatwas what on earth is going on with the daughter in your scenario

Original poster
AliceinBunnyland · 23/07/2020 22:09

How do you know they’re don’t though? Sitting with no back support leaves me pretty much doubled over for the rest of the day

I don't know but I would be surprised if every person I saw doing this was unable to sit up. I get that it's less comfortable to sit up but we are supposed to be working.

As I've said this is really just my views and what I've found odd based on a very formal working environment.

Yes, showing a mess, in any room, is a bit unprofessional. as is lying down or being in night clothes, but siting upright, fully clothed, with a bed headboard showing is an absolute non-event , surely.

My job requires some rigidity even in a pandemic. It requires professionalism and the appearance of it. It requires confidentiality. Depending on who we were speaking to it would simply not be acceptable or to be lying in bed during a call. yes we are in a pandemic but there are still some things we can control to maintain a level of professionalism. Having said all that, yes it's more the lying in bed than just being in a bedroom.

OP posts:
corythatwas · 23/07/2020 22:59

@corythatwas what on earth is going on with the daughter in your scenario

She's a drama student. Vocal exercises sound quite ….errrr...full-on.

corythatwas · 23/07/2020 23:05

It requires confidentiality.

Which is precisely why some people may resort to the bedroom. The alternative might be being within hearing range of other family members which in areas of my job would count as extremely unprofessional. I use the bedroom on occasion precisely because I want to maintain strict professional standards.

MaleficentsCrow · 23/07/2020 23:20

Ah you'd hate me OP. I Zoom from the bedroom if DS is home, from the living room if he was in childcare provision, but that has ended now.

DS5 likes to join in occasionally, then the mastiff makes an appearance. DS5 waves to all my colleagues or just starts saying "hello" to people. Luckily the team laugh about it. We discuss confidential client stuff, and the odd colleague swears, but then 5 year old shouts "I heard a swear word" 😬 so I gave up on being on the living room for the full meeting with him in ear shot and started Zooming from my bedroom with him downstairs. He still comes up for a nose though. He gets "bored" downstairs on his own.

But at the end of the day 2-3 hour zoom meetings I need to check on DS regularly or he comes up to the bedroom and sits at the bottom of my bed with a tablet. Or plays Lego on my bedroom floor. You could say return to the living room, but I have the option to send DS downstairs for 5minutes especially if we are about to talk about sex working or violent offenders, which I don't want him listening to.

My work is very understanding, I'm a lone key worker parent, there isn't much I can do about it.

I do get nice comments about my bedroom and bedding though 😂

Original poster
AliceinBunnyland · 23/07/2020 23:34

Which is precisely why some people may resort to the bedroom

I've said just being in the bedroom is not really an issue.

Sounds great MaleficentsCrow

OP posts:
Judystilldreamsofhorses · 23/07/2020 23:45

I’m a lecturer and had loads of video meetings with students, plus whole online classes. I had to ask a couple of male students to put a shirt on, so the fact they were in bed was the least of my worries.

My back is completely knackered from sitting at the kitchen table on a picnic bench type seat. Bed might be a better option.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 23/07/2020 23:47

(I mean cover their naked chest, not that they had to have a collar and tie.)

Wheresthebiffer2 · 23/07/2020 23:49

My bed is warm and comfortable. I can't afford to put the heating on.

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