To think kids must get better once they turn 4?!

[TeddyIsaHe]

Honestly, dd is driving me to distraction.

I was a Smug Mother because we sailed through the 2’s with a few screeches, but no full on tantrums.

Well that’s come back to bite me. EVERYTHING, and I mean everything is a battle. Even something she loves like eating a biscuit can end up in tears.

I’ve read all the ‘how to talk so your toddler will listen’ books, but sadly she has not. So no matter how calmly (or how much I shout ) it doesn’t work! There’s been no big life changes, apart from covid obviously! But she was like this well before then.

Please tell me I’m not the only one with a child like this!

Less tantrums but more annoying. My 5 year old doesn’t come up for air from the minute she wakes up the minute she shuts her eyes at night and it’s so draining.

Wait until there 14 🙄

They go through phases, sometimes you’ll be all smug like ‘yeah, child is so well behaved, I’m so great at this’ then you’ll go through a period like you describe of defiance, acting up and just general pain in the arseness! So I don’t think it’s an age thing unfortunately, it’s just a phase thing. Some kids get more of those phases than others.

They call them threenagers, right?

Yes so much better when they’re 4! Hold in there!

I have a 5 and 3 year old, it feels like every request is a battle with one of them, come and eat your lunch, lets put shoes on, time for bed, hairwash.

One or other of them will put up a protest!

I count to 10 - a lot!

They get better. DS is 7 and gets easier as he gets older. I don't envy you, I struggled with the younger years.

Yes, they get better at 4, it peaks at 10 and then it’s downhill to 20 and you’re back where you at 4 when they are 24. (The rest is still a mystery to me, but I will find out soon!)

@Noodledoodledoo omg this is me with a 2 & 5 yo. I spend my day saying “please sit at the table properly...please don’t hit your brother, please brush your teeth, please don’t kick me, please get in bed” and counting counting counting.... it’s exhausting. Individually the are great, together it’s just so exhausting!

I have 2 kids. 3 was a harder age than 2 both times around. And at 4 the threenager becomes a fournado....😁

I have two 12 year old girls in the house. Take me back to the 3s please 😭

It gets better after 5 till 12 then the teen years are far worse...

I remember with ds2 laughing saying that the terrible 2s were nothing on the terrible 3s, and then at 4 saying, surely this'll end soon! He settled a lot more after he was 5, but he's still the most interesting to deal with of the 4

Hahahahahaa

Hate to break it to you, but they're still little shits in their teens

I luv em really

My 3 year old is the same, so easy at 2 but the last 6 months in particular so many tantrums and emotional breakdowns. Hoping 4 is the magic number 😂🙏🤪

I have 5, ranging from ages 5-13. I'm still waiting for it to get better! As they get older, the tantrums still exist. They just evolve from sprawling on the floor to door slamming 🤦‍♀️

If you think 4 is bad wait till they get to 14 ...

Yanbu to think it, but you are kidding yourself, sorry! I personally think 10/11 was v tough!

And yes, 14

My eldest is 10. In the last two weeks I can literally see ‘tweenager’ phase kicking in. Little kids are ‘too boring’, she wants ‘alone tome’, we are ‘soooo embarrassing’. It is like a little black cloud floating over a nice phase.

On the upside she can use the coffee maker and make her own toast in the morning.

You replies aren’t filling me with confidence! We’ve had a a tantrum this morning because I asked Dd to have a wee before breakfast

I’m just pretending teenage years aren’t a thing yet, I was an appalling teenager (my poor mother!) so I Hope Dd doesn’t take after me.

DS1 has managed to be more difficult than DS2 at every age so far. They are very very different (fortunately).

Age 2-4 DS1 was gorgeous but didn't sleep (reflux) and had endless energy

Age 5 his anger was terrifying

Age 6 he settled down a bit but had a medical problem it took 10 months to diagnose so it was hard for everyone

Age 7-9 my god he is hard work! Very emotional, argues with every little thing (including not wanting this type of biscuit but a different one - just like a toddler)

I am not looking forward to teenage years!

(On the plus side he is incredibly loving and once you get him outside/playing a game etc is a lot of fun)

My third was impossible from about six months, I used to be close to tears when OH left for work. Her behaviour did improve and around four and when starting school. Then there was another big change at 7 which coincided with a big leap in her learning. We’ve had a bit of regression in lockdown, but in between those moments she really is a pleasure to be with.

And not all teenagers are nightmares, DS16 barely causes me any issues.

I found 4 harder than 2, because they were more articulate, so capable of giving me the benefit of their opinions more precisely!

Such as:

“Don’t you tell my sister off - you are upsetting her!”

Then turning to her twin and saying

“Next time, just say - you didn’t do it!”

They also needed more stimulation all day; and they were much better when they started school! Imo, 7 - 12 is the easiest time with children. Teenagers are just as mentally and emotionally demanding, as toddlers are!

Try and pick your battles, for example our rule is toilet before bed and before leaving house but not dictated at any other time. So my dd goes to toilet half way through every meal, but it's their meal they're disrupting so I couldn't care less and they'll soon realise! If you nag less they listen more to the important stuff.