To think kids must get better once they turn 4?!

[TeddyIsaHe]

Honestly, dd is driving me to distraction.

I was a Smug Mother because we sailed through the 2’s with a few screeches, but no full on tantrums.

Well that’s come back to bite me. EVERYTHING, and I mean everything is a battle. Even something she loves like eating a biscuit can end up in tears.

I’ve read all the ‘how to talk so your toddler will listen’ books, but sadly she has not. So no matter how calmly (or how much I shout ) it doesn’t work! There’s been no big life changes, apart from covid obviously! But she was like this well before then.

Please tell me I’m not the only one with a child like this!

@Noodledoodledoo @Littlecaf
My friend told me that in school the teacher and assistant don’t say please, only thank you.
Because the children see a please request as optional!
So I tried it with my spirited 5 year old and it did kind of work. For now.
Bring your plate through, thank you.
Put your shoes on, thank you.
And so on.

oh and we started a sticker chart at 3 and still going strong at 5. Works well. Every 10 stickers she gets a little gift. Stickers have become slowly harder to earn over time and we've never taken stickers away as creates negativity. Reward good behaviour, ignore bad.

DS is nearly 4 and he's just like this. everything damn thing is a battle, from getting him dressed to me leaving the room at bedtime, to him not wanting to eat his dinner (something he requested) 🙄. the tantrums when he doesn't get his own way sometimes are out of this world! I'm just riding it out though, it won't last forever.

I also have a 2yo DD and let me tell you, jesus girls are SO SO feisty

No sorry my son at 4 is the worse he’s ever been. Hoping it calms down when he’s at school.

I found it all much easier from age 5 and it's been great since then! (Eldest is 14 now.)

I found two and three so easy and I too was smug. Well 4-5 has wiped the smugness so far off my face.

My eldest was challenging from 4 to around 17. Pick your battles, some things are not worth the fallout.

[quote Halfstonehomerun]**@Noodledoodledoo* @Littlecaf*
My friend told me that in school the teacher and assistant don’t say please, only thank you.
Because the children see a please request as optional!
So I tried it with my spirited 5 year old and it did kind of work. For now.
Bring your plate through, thank you.
Put your shoes on, thank you.
And so on.[/quote]
I tried this. DS just asked why I was saying thank you. I didn't bother trying it again

[quote Halfstonehomerun]**@Noodledoodledoo* @Littlecaf*
My friend told me that in school the teacher and assistant don’t say please, only thank you.
Because the children see a please request as optional!
So I tried it with my spirited 5 year old and it did kind of work. For now.
Bring your plate through, thank you.
Put your shoes on, thank you.
And so on.[/quote]
I'm a teacher - that trick doesn't work on mine sadly - tried it out!! My daughter (5) turned round and told me I shouldn't say Thank you as she hadn't done what I asked yet!!!! Arghhhhh

OP we have had to have wee before going downstairs on both reward charts to achieve that one!

We called it the f'ing fours! One day Dh just sat down and said where was this in the book:) 5 was better and then a blip about 7ish currently at 14 and very similar to 4 now I think about it... hang in there drink tea ... see if can find something you all like ...walk/story time/ tv programme .. and do that! Also ds particular seemed to have bit of growth leap but couldn't really say ... so I got into habit of Drink/snack/ loo if behaviour started to wobble ... often was hangry! But water first as would rarely think about drinking....

Mine does this amazingly theatrical drop to the floor (but she always does a quick recce to make sure that there's nothing pointy or uncomfortable on the floor first - I do quite enjoy watching her tantrum whilst covertly sizing up the best landing space)

Also, if I try to move her away from something she seems to be able to dislocate all of her bones and turn into a human noodle, yet also still able to thrash and wail

She's actually very sunny most of the time but underneath there is an IRON WILL to contend with. She's heading towards 3.

Also, if I try to move her away from something she seems to be able to dislocate all of her bones and turn into a human noodle, yet also still able to thrash and wail

This made me laugh a LOT! The human noodle It’s either that or superhuman strength when trying to get wailing small person in buggy or car seat and you have to practically kneel on them to get them to bend. Good times!

I’ve actually found 6-7 to be the worst so far. You don’t need to keep your eyes on them constantly, but much more frustrating and just exhausting in other ways. My 2 year old is a breeze compared to the 7 year old.

Yep threenagers! It gets better from school age

My son turned five in June, I still regularly say “oh for fucksake” in my head.

Today he screamed while shaking and kicking the babygate in the hallway, the yellow cup he wanted was in the dishwasher so he had to have a green one. Clearly a green cup is child cruelty.

Wait until you have teens OP. Wish mine was 2 or 4 again.