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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to want to permanently come off FB? Has anyone managed it successfully?

106 replies

ILoveTotoro · 22/07/2020 17:50

For me, it is really not a good place at the moment. I think it can make people behave in a toxic way and I include myself in that

But at the same time I know I am absolutely addicted to it, I have been off less than a week and I am missing it like mad. but I am not missing the anxiety I feel when I am actually on it. But for some reason I have serious FOMO. I don't even know why, as I am in touch with the ones I want to be in touch with on whats app and texts etc. and I still have instagram but I find that a nicer space for some reason.

I was a smoker for years and quit, cold turkey, ten years ago ....and for me, this is way way harder than quitting the cigs was. So was just wondering if anyone else has completely quit fb and if it gets easier (please say yes) and also if anyone has any tips or advice.

OP posts:
Bodgedboxdye · 22/07/2020 19:11

Came off 6 years ago and I wouldn’t ever go back on it.

I found it quite easy to come off. I don’t miss it. (

Acrasia · 22/07/2020 19:12

I logged off just after the Brexit vote. Not missed it at all. Anyone I actually care about I am still in contact with anyway.

AnnabelC · 22/07/2020 19:21

I deleted mine a very long time ago. I know how you feel op. But I haven’t regretted it. I have lots of friends and use WhatsApp. E mail and texting. Calls. I am still sent pics. From friends and family. You are not missing out. Put the effort into the people you like/love and it will reap rewards. Good luck.

LockdownLump · 22/07/2020 19:25

I quit FB first, then Twitter, then insta.

Getting rid of the toxicity of Twitter, the braggines of Instagram and the banality of Facebook has made my life a much nicer place.

I won't ever use them again.

IncorrigibleTitmouse · 22/07/2020 19:27

Yes, I deleted it about two years ago and it’s been gloriously liberating. You still keep in touch with the people you actually want to, but there’s none of the stalking, drama or attention seeking that caused me to choose to leave. I also work in marketing so I know how they use your data! 😂

Trailing1 · 22/07/2020 19:28

Left in august 2019, so nearly a year on. It has done me the world of good. I used to get envious seeing people's new houses, holidays, (things that I don't have, or can afford). Obviously that is my issue not theirs, they are free to post whatever they like. But it was better for my mental health to step away.

Sunsage · 22/07/2020 19:30

I deleted mine completely and then remade it but actually made a conscious decision on who to invite so its mainly family members and close friends! Far better, just pop on a few times a week to see who is up to what!

underneaththeash · 22/07/2020 19:30

I have very little drama on mine...it's useful for girlguiding stuff and I like to see friend's holiday snaps.

If someone posts something annoying more than once, I just unfollow them. I'm currently unfollowing a uni friend who is a stanch, opinionated vegan, DH's militant breastfeeding cousin and DH's other cousin who posts anti-trump sweary posts several times a day and they get a bit much (Although I agree that he is an utter arse).

ShinyRuby · 22/07/2020 19:45

I deactivated mine a couple of years ago. I found myself getting drawn into toxic arguments that were absolutely nothing to do with me such as comments on This Morning's page.
I also struggled with a couple of 'friends' who would deliberately ignore some people's posts while gushing over others which I found hurtful even though I knew it was pathetic. I felt I had to like or comment on everything & found it exhausting.
I haven't regretted my decision at all but it can be a bit awkward when you're just expected to know things because "it was on Facebook ".

Waveysnail · 22/07/2020 19:49

Deleted everyone off my facebook except about 10 people. Utterly freeing

Crankley · 22/07/2020 19:51

I would delete it if I had it but have never been on it.

Inkanta · 22/07/2020 19:52

I think I like the idea of coming off and then opening up an account with just close friends and family. Don't seem to have the guts to do it though.

Afwan · 22/07/2020 19:53

Honestly you'll feel so much better for doing it. I quit fb three years ago, one of my better decisions.

LadyPrigsbottom · 22/07/2020 19:54

I go on and off it. I deleted my account recently though and don't miss it at all. Also deleted Instagram, which I ADORED, but again, now that I don't have it, I don't miss it at all.

Nickelallergy891 · 22/07/2020 19:57

Is it actually possible to completely delete it? A friend told me that you can only deactivate it. I've seen so many friends make a huge song and dance about coming off Facebook accompanied by a massive preachy essay about why they're doing so... Then a couple of months are back on again! Anyone else noticed this? I believe that's partly due to how tempting it is if it's only deactivated and not completely removed.

runrabbitrunrunrun · 22/07/2020 20:01

Quit!!!! After a couple of weeks without social media I notice a huge improvement on my mood and screen time. Only thing I miss is people’s birthdays so make sure you have the important ones written down!

Prig · 22/07/2020 20:02

I stopped using it a few years ago and never looked back. The ironic thing is, when things are genuinely going good, and you want to share it, facebook is the place to squash your happiness and bring out the negative comments. It's absolutely toxic. Over time you don't miss it at all because the space is filled by more meaningful connections and interactions. I feel safer too, emotionally.

Inkpaperstars · 22/07/2020 20:06

Persist OP, you will get past the craving!

minou123 · 22/07/2020 20:08

I agree with all the previous comments.

I deleted FB in 2017.

To deal with the FOMO: I just think if its important, they will tell me personally. If they don't tell me its not important.
Seems to be working so far

MyNameHasBeenTaken · 22/07/2020 20:12

I think I have not looked at mine for about 5 years. Been so long I cant remember.
Now I dont have to worry about posting anything that work might check up on!

Stressing · 22/07/2020 20:13

My FB is boring because I have literally stopped following 80% of them and it's brilliant. I can still drop in and see how they are doing if I feel like it which I never do, otherwise I'm in a few groups and see updates from nearest and dearest. There's no need to come of it, just unfollowGrin

ballsdeep · 22/07/2020 20:17

I deleted mine. I hated the amount of time I was spending, aimlessly scrolling and looking at 'perfect' lives, when I knew they were anything but. I think that when covid came around there was a huge amount of scare Mongering which made me feel sick with worry . It's full of self indulgent posts about fitting into size ten jeans six weeks after giving birth (good for them, no need to broadcast it to the world) and how perfect their lives are. It's toxic. Come off it, you'll feel better

Original poster
ILoveTotoro · 22/07/2020 22:11

@ShinyRuby

I also struggled with a couple of 'friends' who would deliberately ignore some people's posts while gushing over others which I found hurtful even though I knew it was pathetic. I felt I had to like or comment on everything & found it exhausting

^^ That is EXACTLY how I felt and why I came off

What's wrong with people. why do they become such childish dicks on fb ? 😩

OP posts:
Gatehouse77 · 22/07/2020 22:27

I deleted mine but I don’t think I was a typical user so it made sweet FA difference!

SantaClaritaDiet · 22/07/2020 22:30

If you stay on social media like MN, you should't miss FB too much. You just replace it. The only problem is not to become addicted to MN, and AIBU gets brutal.

I do have FB, but I seem to use it in a complete different way from all the posters who are drowning in drama every time they go on there.