AIBU to think *some* people look down on renters at my age?

[hugocat]

So, a little background, my partner and I are both divorced , he's 50, I'm 40. He earns 35 k, I earn 17k , we have 3 children under 16 between us. We live in a 'nice' area of town ( not south east ) and pay £1000 p/m with council tax in a 4 bed privately rented detached. It isn't done out all fancy with new kitchen, bathroom, big garden etc but we keep it very neat, clean and tidy and we love it there. We both don't have the best credit scores nor a deposit saved. I have some debt I am paying out and we've bought a joint car on hp.

Anyway, I know I shouldn't care but I got chatting to a busy body neighbour the other day and she asked if we were the owners of the house who had moved back into the property. I told her we weren't .. she was asking loads of questions which are none of her business so I politely ended the conversation. It got me thinking, do the homeowners in our area look down on us? Do they in general when they hear of people our age renting? Then I wonder what I'll do for retirement? I did own my own home in my twenties with my ex husband but the relationship was toxic and life moves on....

Yes, I think some people do look down on renters. Same as some people look down on people who aren’t married or don’t have kids. It’s part of the whole ‘what being an adult’ means mentality. Doesn’t mean it’s right. I own my own home now coz I was so tired with the uncertainty in renting. Landlords who can evict you to see up. That kind of thing. But it’s more about security that because it’s better. I’d love it if there were more rights for tenants and not everyone would need to own. Also, where I live, rent is much more expensive than a mortgage.

*evict you at the drop of a hat.

Yeah, I'm sure some people do. As pp says some people look down on the unmarried.. Also having a "non professional" job.. having been to a lesser university.. all sorts. It's a sad fact of life unfortunately.

Maybe they do...
But as a Landlord, you are exactly what we want! No small children, reliable income, no wild parties and smashing thigns up... actually know how to clean and change a lightbulb!

@PregnantPorcupine

Yeah, I'm sure some people do. As pp says some people look down on the unmarried.. Also having a "non professional" job.. having been to a lesser university.. all sorts. It's a sad fact of life unfortunately.

Don't forget about non drivers outside London.

Some renters - no one looks down on renters of high end properties.

But in your situation, there are people who are snobs that might look down on people renting in their own area.

There is also the slightly more complicated situation that a homeowner might be concerned about rental properties, especially if homes are being bought up to rent in the area. They may worry that even at best, it will mean a more transient set of residents who aren't so likely to be involved in the community. Or at worse, they could end up with series of neighbours who are problems. It can be more difficult for a homeowner to just move on in a case like that.

Do you have plans for retirement? £1k a month or more out of pension would worry me.

@Doingtheboxerbeat and inside London (that'd be yet another reason to look down on me 😂)

Some people do yes. I only became knee deep in thousands of mortgage pounds a homeowner aged 34, and that's only because DP had the deposit from a previous house sale. Always rented, will rent again if need be. The majority of my friends rent.

We're in London and it's just the way it is here, unless you are very lucky, have help or are wealthy.

I guess there are people about who are nasty enough to judge. I think people see owning a property a sign of a successful life. I think it’s a goal for a majority of people to get on the property ladder ASAP, and it’s just assumed that an older person would have bought a house

I'd be the same. Can't understand why people would be long term renters if they can afford to buy. Not logical. But it's up to you. Also as somebody else said how do you plan to cover the rent when you retire. Most people will have paid off their mortgages by then.

SOME people might.

I have never met anyone looking down at me when I was renting, or they were hiding it well.

It probably depends on the circle you mix with: many people need flexibility, see renting as a convenience, have no intention on settling anywhere for longer than a year or 2. No one actually cares.

I cannot comprehend the issue frankly, renting is on so many aspect so easy! you only budget your monthly rent, you make a call if anything goes wrong and someone fixes it for you, you don't care about the state of the market, you don't even care about potential problems with neighbours as you can just pack and go (at least after a few months).

If you are happy with your situation, you won't give a damn what others might think.

My late inlaws and parents rented from the council as secure tenants and didn't buy their properties for many reasons too boring to go into (mostly lack of money. )
Both councils were over the moon to get the keys back and move people in from the waiting list when they died!
People are amazed that neither my dh or I have any inheritance from a house and yes, they did used to look down on us a bit for being brought up on council estates!
However, it suited them , any repairs were dealt with straight away at no extra costs to them and the rent was always low.
They never had any of the maintenance we have had with our place which is still a work in process 15 years on! Or the worry that the boiler might blow up or the roof come off etc etc!
There are advantages which home owners tend to overlook! I'm sad there are not more council properties being built for people that can't be bought at huge discounts! ( a whole other thread)
My parents and inlaws never felt inferior to anyone for renting a place!

I wouldn’t say look down is the right expression but someone my age (early 30s) might think it’s strange that you didn’t get on the property ladder when it was “easier”....and as you said yourself you don’t have a pension plan as such.

@Viviennemary

I'd be the same. Can't understand why people would be long term renters if they can afford to buy. Not logical. But it's up to you. Also as somebody else said how do you plan to cover the rent when you retire. Most people will have paid off their mortgages by then.

Presumably then the OP can't afford to buy . Totally logical.

Oh I thought she could afford to buy but was choosing to rent. I certainly wouldn't look down on people though. Especially if they can afford 1k per month rent.

Hmmm thought as much. I was on the property ladder between the age of 23 and 32 but then I divorced. ( Outskirts of London ) I did have some shared equity but it wasn't enough for a deposit and I had a period of unemployment due to illness.

My dad and fil had modest work pensions and still paid rent and bills and fil run a car too! (He did receive some help with his rent for a while. )
I admit that council rent is much less than privately renting , but they managed and many will be the same once they retire.
It's not ideal , but the idea you have to own a property is very much the way people are programmed to think is the only way.

Some people definitely do look down on people who rent. My mum does. She actually rented a council house until she was in her mid 40s but hides now whilst passing judgement on others and feeling very superior. 🙄

People who judge you on something like this really aren’t worth knowing. People like this tend to find something to judge everyone for.

I wouldn’t ’look down on’ renters - it’s totally everyone’s choice about how they live their lives. However, I have found it hard to understand people who have good incomes/savings etc saying that they don’t fancy having the ‘millstone of a mortgage around their necks’!!!

Surely, the millstone of rent (likely to increase year on year) for the rest of your life, is just plain daft!! It’s money down the drain.

Why pay off your landlord’s mortgage when you could be paying off your own?

I think some people do yes. In my experience it’s often people who haven’t bought a property in decades and have no idea of the realities of getting a mortgage/raising a deposit in certain areas.

The reality is renting is the only option for lots of people in the U.K., in their current circumstances anyway.

It’s very much a cultural thing. In other countries long term renting is the norm, people like the flexibility of being able to up sticks and not be tied down - but it’s easier if your rent is stabilised and you have a long term tenancy.

@Viviennemary

I'd be the same. Can't understand why people would be long term renters if they can afford to buy. Not logical. But it's up to you. Also as somebody else said how do you plan to cover the rent when you retire. Most people will have paid off their mortgages by then.

I pay £1700 a month in rent. How do you suggest I save enough to buy? And yes, I could leave the area I am in. But I don't want to. Renting suits me and I would rather rent in an area that I want to live in than move 250 miles away to an area where I know noone. I have no plans to retire, which is clearly just as well, but I like working and intend to do so as long as possible.

I can’t imagine ever asking that question of anyone. It’s dreadfully rude.

I also couldn’t give a damn about other people’s financial situation.

I have found it hard to understand people who have good incomes/savings etc saying that they don’t fancy having the ‘millstone of a mortgage around their necks’!!!

In my experience, the people saying this are usually unable to buy but are covering it up by making claims that they prefer renting. Saying oh I prefer the flexibility, like moving at a moment’s notice, don’t want the responsibility etc.

For a very small proportion of people it is true that they could buy but prefer renting for now, usually those with transient locations regarding work.

But yeah, most people who make a big show about preferring to rent while being able to buy aren’t in a position to buy but rightly don’t want to share that personal info.

I am sure I have seen articles where people have actually calculated the true costs of buying. When you add up
mortgage fee
solicitor fee
stamp duty
interests on your mortgage
maintenance costs
and obviously the actual cost of the property

it's not such a low-cost solution either.

I certainly wouldn't look down on people though. Especially if they can afford 1k per month rent.
that too. Around here, the rents are not for the faint hearted.