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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour delivers my mail

88 replies

Ppffw · 22/07/2020 08:02

AIBU to think if you had an ongoing dispute or you had fallen out with your next door neighbor (none mail related) that you wouldn't want his person delivering your mail each day and also having to open your door quite often to sign for your mail (outside of coronavirus).

OP posts:
Watermama · 22/07/2020 11:07

You can pick up from the sorting office. I needed to do this for some time after our postman reminded me 'I know where you live' Hmm

thesedaysarescary · 22/07/2020 11:10

Years ago my neighbour was our postie he was lovely though and we never had any issues.

thesedaysarescary · 22/07/2020 11:10

Years ago my neighbour was our postie he was lovely though and we never had any issues.

Marchitectmummy · 22/07/2020 11:13

Has this person done anything wrong in terms of their interactions with you while working? I imagine it's as dreadful for them as you.

If they are able to separate their dispute as a neighbour with their job then so should you.

If not, and they are not fulfilling their role correctly then that's a different issue and one that should be addressed.

Whether your fault or not the moral of the story is not to fall out with neighbours.

Pinkyyy · 22/07/2020 11:14

I think if you're not happy with the arrangement then you need to arrange an alternative way to collect your post. Tbh I do find it quite childish, there's very little interaction needed to sign for a parcel.

SeriouslySeriously · 22/07/2020 11:56

Walks are assigned based on seniority, the most senior person chooses their walk, then the next person chooses and so on and so on. This process is probably refreshed every 5 years or so following a revision. I know posties that have chosen the same walk repeatedly and been on the same round for 20 years. It doesn't matter if you live in the area that you are delivering to.

As long as the person remains professional when delivering your mail, what is the problem?

turquoise50 · 22/07/2020 12:07

@OnTheFencePaint Doesn't have to be the exact same street though. One of my posties technically lives two streets away, but the way the streets are laid out, the back entrance to her house is probably less than fifty yards from mine (I’m nearly on a corner). I often see her walking her dog within minutes of delivering my post, so obviously she walks her route back towards her own house, with me being one of her last deliveries, and then clocks off. She also happens to have two DC at my DS's school, one in his class. Fortunately we get on! But there's no way to legislate against a postie knowing some of their 'customers' outside of work.

If I was the postie in the OP situation, and really felt awkward about it, I'd probably have a word with my manager and see if there was any way to get moved to a different patch. But it may be that it suits them because they want to finish their round close to home, like my neighbour. Or are they maybe less bothered about the situation than the OP is?

Falling out with neighbours can quickly get very toxic and evolve into decades-long feuds, even over something very minor. Honestly my instinct would be to try and nip it in the bud. Maybe next time you sign for a parcel, would it be worth taking a deep breath and suggesting with a smile that the two of you bury the hatchet, now that you're going to have to keep coming face to face like this?

Obviously if the dispute is over a practical issue which you actually need resolved, then it's slightly more complicated than that, but still, taking the leap to try and find a compromise might be worth it? Your neighbour may well be very relieved - it can't be fun for them either, going to work every day not knowing whether they're going to have to face you and this awkward situation. They might be terrified that you're going to do or say something which might jeopardise their job (I'm not saying you would of course! But they might think it.) Either way, it best not to let it fester.

Flump9 · 22/07/2020 12:11

My neighbour was our postman for a few years, this was a couple of years ago but does happen.

LagunaBubbles · 22/07/2020 12:25

Can't you try and make up? Life is short.

Without knowing the circumstances of the fallout thats unhelpful advice. We had to move house to get away from bullying neighbours.

Laaalaaaa · 22/07/2020 12:41

Why don’t you move house - but first consult Royal Mail so they can provide details of the team of posties that deliver in your new area. If you approve - bingo. Simple solution innit.

diddl · 22/07/2020 13:55

I suppose it depends on the nature of the falling out.

Not getting on with Op doesn't necessarily mean that he can't do his job.

VeganCow · 23/07/2020 06:32

Unless this person has done something unforgiveable can you use this as an opportunity to build bridges?

damnthatanxiety · 23/07/2020 08:54

Jaxhog a restraining order???For having an argument??? Are you inSANE?

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