Neighbour delivers my mail

[Ppffw]

AIBU to think if you had an ongoing dispute or you had fallen out with your next door neighbor (none mail related) that you wouldn't want his person delivering your mail each day and also having to open your door quite often to sign for your mail (outside of coronavirus).

We have semi retired postie who lives in our street and he delivers to us and the surrounding area. He always has.

@InspectorGoul smear test reminders. They come in letters with NHS all over it, ‘private and confidential’. Yes, you don’t know what is in it until you open it but when I’ve received mine I’ve been concerned that there is something seriously wrong with me because of how the envelope is branded. Both our employers send things in branded letters, so if someone has a grudge they’ve got our name, our address and our employer. Also debt collection agencies. Usually they have a return address on the back and a simple google brings up their business. When we lived at my in-laws old place, my BIL was still getting post delivered to that address. As the outside of the letters got more aggressive - ‘final reminder’etc, we googled the address, realised they were debt collectors and told him to sort his shit out or at least update his address as they weren’t taking our things for his debt.

Can you get a restraining order against him? The post office might then reassign him to a different route.

@Jaxhog

Can you get a restraining order against him? The post office might then reassign him to a different route.

The op said she had a ‘verbal argument’ with him, and now you want a restraining order

I don’t live in a small place - I live in a pretty big town - and my postie lives across the road. I can see his house from my window.

I know a now retired postie and he said they wouldn't be assigned to work where they live, for exactly this sort of reason and also for issues of confidentiality. Not that unusual for many practical reasons as @cuntryclub said. Our posties all live in our small town, if they didn't cover their own streets there would be a lot of missed deliveries!

My dh has often covered our road on overtime as a postie

You've had a row with a neighbour, and not your trying to get him out of a job? Classy.

Lots of posties deliver in the areas they live - it's very common. Just because it's not in the experience of a few posters doesn't make it untrue. It's not a condition of employment that you cannot live where you work - even for the police these days.

Royal Mail take privacy very seriously, and honesty and integrity is a massive part of the role. Nothing you've described affects that.

He's allowed a life outside of work, and you don't get to pick your neighbours....

@Jaxhog

Can you get a restraining order against him? The post office might then reassign him to a different route.

And here we have an example of Mumsnet batshittery at its finest.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Can you get a restraining order against him? The post office might then reassign him to a different route

You'd have to hope then that the neighbour would take some kind of legal action against OP. Applying for a restraining order with absolutely no grounds to do so would be harassment.

I'm surest's no more pleasant for him than it is for you.

Suck it up.

If he is a proper abusive cunt the rest of the time I would speak to royal mail (or whoever delivers your post) because you shouldn't have to deal with that.

If it's just a dispute the rest of the time and he is professional when delivering your post I would leave it be. Just smile tightly and be polite as though you are far better than this. It's the ultimate British putdown in these circumstances.

If anything starts going missing I'd also report.

or you could start posting things to yourself from fake solicitors who specialise in "neighbourly disputes" ?

OP can’t you choose to have your parcels left on your doorstep? Most of the big delivery firms are a offering this option now, and no doubt your postie will prefer it as it minimises contact. you just need to tick the box on the online form that you accept the risk if they are lost. If you are at home anyway, you can just retrieve them from the doorstep once they’ve gone.

NDNr works on a rota which means he often delivers post in this area. Sometimes when not him, it's his adult son who delivers our post. Last 15 yrs. Doesn't seem unusual to me.

@Daisyhut

What happened to that thread about the woman whose postie was deliberately damaging her post?

I actually don't remember if it was sorted or not. I might have to advance search to see if there's any updates.

We;ve always had a postie that we knew, always been someone who lives in the village.

When we first moved here the postie was the person we bought the house from which was a bit awkward because we dropped our offer after the survey showed up quite a few issues and they weren't happy at all!

Our postie is my son’s classmate’s Dad (small village school) - he does the whole village every morning and picks the kids up at the end of the day.

So yes, he knows who at the school gates has ordered from LoveHoney, who has a smear test due and who has a red bill reminder!

I can imagine what Royal Mail would say if you asked that someone else deliver your mail because the postie is your neighbour and you have a long standing disagreement with them!!!

Either get a PO Box or suck it up. It wouldn't bother me tbh.

“Restraining order”😂. Do some posters actually live in the real world or do they think court orders are thrown about like confetti?

Crazy.

If what pp are saying about it not being allowed to work where you live, it might be worth calling in and seeing what they say, OP. Could be an administrative oversight- they might change his route.

I'm torn because my parents have had a lot of issues with their insane neighbour. If he was their postie I can guarantee things would go missing so I wouldn't want him handling my post.

However if they can be professional whilst working and be civil, then YABU. Because what can you expect the Royal Mail to do?

@FourPlasticRings

If what pp are saying about it not being allowed to work where you live, it might be worth calling in and seeing what they say, OP. Could be an administrative oversight- they might change his route.

Why do you believe those PP and not the other PP who have said it happens in their area? What makes the 'its not allowed' PP have the edge of believability over the 'it's allowed' PP?

Why do you believe those PP and not the other PP who have said it happens in their area? What makes the 'its not allowed' PP have the edge of believability over the 'it's allowed' PP?

Well more potential DRAMZ that way @cuntryclub . Maybe she can be encouraged by “helpful” MNers to get a restraining order against the entire Royal Mail!

I’m dying to hear what the OP actually believes should happen here...

Why do you believe those PP and not the other PP who have said it happens in their area?

Didn't see them if I'm honest. Worth a shot though, surely, to ring and check?