To wonder whether to charge board or not?

[CrooksAndNannies]

DD1 going to start her career in September after just graduating.

Until yesterday we thought it was blended/office based and she would be looking fir a flat in a few weeks.

The company has now announced no return to office work until at least January.

So she could work from home, not ideal but we're all being adaptable in the current climate.

Do we charge board? I feel there's a principle here.

BUT DD2 has lived here for free since the start of Lockdown when her University closed down. And continued to pay her her top up maintenance. So this has made the situation less clear cut.

@thistimelastweek Exactly that.

If you're saving it for them, you're not teaching them anything.
You're just keeping the money.

@SuperlativeScrubs

I'm confused. So she is saying she wants to save the exact amount her rent in London would cost while living at yours and you are still going to charge her on top of that?

Is it going to impact on you financially having her there?

No she says she wants to put aside that amount so she doesn't get used to it in her "pocket". She'll also be saving on substantially on trave.

My brother doesn't charge his young adult children rent but he does insist they save. I think it is £400 each month into one of those accounts that the government will top up if you buy a house. He makes sure the saving happens every month! He tells them if they don't save they will be charged rent so they will be no better off and they save.

The amount of discretionary spending they still have it will be a big shock when they do move out. They are in an area of the country where housing is expensive.

When I started ft work my parents asked for keep money. It was set as a third of my monthly salary and I was proud to contribute. I lived off the rest and saved some too. What I didn't know at the time was that I was going to get some back when I bought my first home. That was a complete surprise.

I’d charge for the bills and food.

Most definitely charge! It teaches them how to budget their money and pay their own way! If you need the money then use it as you wish if not then save it for her for the future as pp have said! I have charged both my elder sons when they started full time work and will do so with my younger dc when they start full time work.

Here you go. Give her the figure you COULD get for a lodger, she will be happy to pay anything less

www.comparethemarket.com/home-insurance/content/pa-rental/

DD1 pays £250 per month, she is left with £1200 so I certainly don't feel guilty for her paying keep. It's £600 a month to rent a room where we live , we don't need the money but feel as a working adult that she should contribute. Everyone I know with adult children takes board from them and it's only on here that it seems to be frowned upon.

I would charge maybe £500 pcm to get her used to paying something but probably give 400pm back at end.

I think it is pretty clear cut if you are in the position to do so I would not be charging anything. It is not a lodger, it is your grown up child starting their first job and hopefully they will be able to save for the future whilst they can.
With dd2 the situation is clearly different and I am surprised you are comparing the two.

When my son graduated and moved back home, we didn’t charge him rent as we didn’t need to. He saved himself - because he is an adult - and eventually had a deposit to buy his first home (with a mortgage of course). I don’t understand those who suggest taking a rent payment just to save it on their child’s behalf. If they are adults, let them take the full responsibility for saving.

If you need a contribution to run the home, discuss it with your child and reach an agreed amount.

It’s good discipline. It means she gets used to paying from the beginning and makes her understand that wherever you live there’s a cost attached. MN is the only place I’ve ever encountered people who let their adult kids live for nothing. It just infantilises them.

@Alsohuman It's also infantilising them to take money under the guise of 'board' just to give it back to them; rather than allowing them the chance/opportunity to just save the money themselves.

I agree. It would go in my holiday fund.

Don’t charge her.

I wouldn't charge board for my children - but it's a personal decision.

Charging your adult children board / rent does not teach them to budget , you should have taught them that years before they get to the actual earning stage . IMO if you need the money because you lose CB or whatever then obviously you should , if you don’t need the money I don’t see the point but that is assuming your adult child is like mine and actually pulls their weight at home , is pleasant to live with and saves some money each month .

You do need to charge them, otherwise they'll get used to having a huge disposable income, which isn't good.

I'd look at what a room costs to rent in your local area and charge that. Plus they need to contribute to the cleaning/cooking etc.

You wouldn't be helping them by not charging anything.

It is your choice. I would never charge my children board unless I needed it. But it is a personal choice. I never paid it at home and moved out at 18. No one i know charges their children board, but it depends on your circle of friends.

I do remember someone in the family trying to charge a ridiculous amount though, think it was about 650 when you can rent a room for about 300 a month with bills included. Our rent for a whole one bed flat is £500 and that includes all bills save council tax. It really depends on area. Personally I would have rather paid more and had privacy which was why I moved out at 18.

If you don't need the money I would get them to save it instead.

I agree with @ArthurandJessie on this one. Charge board and if you don't need it then save it for her. If it was me, I wouldn't say anything and just surprise her with a lump sum when she moves out. It's a good thing for her to get used to paying bills.

Personally I would never charge an adult child board (we've had my adult stepsons living here on occasion in the past). I feel it will always be their home too and it's a good opportunity for them to save, anyway, if they can.

Thanks all, I'm going to think of all your responses and make a decision.

If she is saving anyway then I wouldn't charge. If she's splurging while living at home then I'd charge and give it her back at a later date.

We don't need the money, but believe you're not doing them any favours by not charging anything. They need to learn that living costs money.

As I said previously, we charge my working son a token rent of £300/month. A bloody bargain.

It's paid automatically by direct debit every month and goes without comment.

I would only charge to save it up and give it back when she moved out, unless your financially strapped then that’s a little different, but living with parents is the only time they can save as living is just too expensive these days when paying rent so she wouldn’t have a good shot for a deposit for a mortgage if she wished to be a home owner