3 year old and coffee

[rotavixsucks]

AIBU to be cross that DM has given my just turned 3 DD a cup of coffee and chocolate cake for lunch whilst I waited in the car for DS to wake up?

@YetAnotherSpartacus of course humous was invented . They were eating it B.C.

I grew up on the stuff and I'm middle aged.

Disagree with many on the thread who say toddlers wouldn’t like coffee as both my eldest got a taste for it at 2 following minesweeps of the cups left lying round at toddler group.

HOWEVER having a heart condition myself I’ve read up about undiagnosed heart conditions and genetic passdown and caffeine is one of the most common triggers to kick off arrythmias in children who may be susceptible. The very very worst case scenario is it triggers ventricular tachycardia and that can be fatal. Needless to say my children don’t get any more than the last trickles from a cup now, not like before when they’d glug it cold and I thought it was cute

Yes I am scaremongering and yes minesweeping coffee dregs is not ideal but never in a million trillion years would I give mine a full cup willingly, fuck no.

I wouldn't be happy with either of mine having coffee at that age. But this is more than that - you're not happy with her having unsupervised access, and when you do let her, she ignores your wishes and does stuff she knows you won't approve of. That's shitty behaviour and needs to be addressed.

DS9 loves coffee - he used to deliberately wait til mine had cooled and drink the dregs if he could get his hands on the mug. But I'm talking a small sip perhaps once every couple of months. More than that just isn't necessary and I don't know anyone who'd encourage their DC to drink anything with caffeine in at that age.

There's a lot of people on here who didn't grow up in the 70's

We drank a LOT of tea. Weak tea was given in bottles to children instead of today's squash.

I was drinking milky coffee/tea from that age.

*YetAnotherSpartacus of course humous was invented grin. They were eating it B.C.

I grew up on the stuff and I'm middle aged*

No shit.

Be annoyed about the coffee sure, I personally wouldn’t be bothered about the cake and I know my own children enough to know that at three there is not a hope in hell they would have drunk more than the tiniest sip of that coffee. Two of the three enjoy a chai though, although not at age 3.

I cannot imagine giving a 3 year old coffee. Threenagers are manic enough as it is.

That's very disrespectful to you. She did it knowing you wouldn't approve, which is why she lied. On top of an already rocky relationship and her not being allowed unsupervised access to DD, I would be pretty fuming.

I'd be very annoyed if anyone gave my children coffee and they are 8 and 6! They are already extremely hyperactive the last thing they need is caffeine, if either of my parents gave them caffeine I'd be leaving the kids to climb up their walls and swing from their lampshades etc!

Wtf! I’d be livid!

Perhaps it was decaf , either way just tell her not to do it again it’s really not worth starting a war over .

not sure it's a good idea to normalize giving young children caffeine or downplaying it as some on here are doing.

"Too muchcaffeinecan cause issues such as increased anxiety, increased heart rate and blood pressure, acid reflux and sleep disturbance. Too muchcaffeineis dangerous forkids, and in very high doses, can be toxic.Caffeineis a stimulant that increases alertness" - john Hopkins university based on studies.

the NHS also state caffeinated drinks are unsuitable for young children and toddlers. so, at risk of sounding very boring and having eyes rolled at me, I dont think you need to lighten up or chill out at all OP. what's the point in taking risks with a young childs health, its baffling.

Whilst tests show coffee in itself doesn’t stunt childrens growth. Caffeine does disrupt their sleep and lack of sleep on a regular basis does interfere with the growth hormone that is only released during sleep.

So in a roundabout way coffee or any caffeinated drinks do stunt growth if given to young children.

So in a roundabout way coffee or any caffeinated drinks do stunt growth if given to young children

Oh fuck. Is that why I'm so short? I think I'd still choose the coffee though.

@YetAnotherSpartacus I know you're trying to be funny but it doesnt really take away from the facts. the facts remain that caffiene isnt good for children - theres no real argument here.

Please don't @ me (your comment wasn't serious enough to add to my email) and honestly, I agree with the previous comments about pearl clutching.

YetAnotherSpartacus I am short. I actually wonder how tall I could have been if I hadn’t been given coffee in my bottle when I was a baby.

wtf how rude, go on another site if you dont want people to @ you on what is effectively a discussion board. I agree with the health professionals, not some middle aged try hard comedians on here who just because they were fed a diet of caffiene and alcohol when they were kids think it's cool to minimise the unsavoury effects it can have on young people. do one.

@YetAnotherSpartacus

wtf how rude, go on another site if you dont want people to @ you on what is effectively a discussion board.

How petulant.

I am short. I actually wonder how tall I could have been if I hadn’t been given coffee in my bottle when I was a baby

I like being short really :). It used to have advantages on planes!

I was given tea, not coffee, but I did LOVE my coffee as a child, and still do. I've moved on to the good stuff though.

I give my 4 year old her own cup to dunk her biscuits in (instant coffee with lots of milk, no sugar and she doesn't drink it - purely for dipping biscuits so my own mug is safe) only as an occasional treat so she can feel 'grown up' but I cannot imagine giving a 3 year old her own cup to actually drink, especially not out of an actual machine so the caffeine is higher, especially not alongside chocolate cake as well. I do think it is a bit irresponsible, and she clearly knew that you would object and that makes it disrespectful as well. However - it is a one off, one time will not hurt your daughter, it might make her slightly hyper or give her a headache later when the caffeine wares off, but it won't have damaged her teeth/heart/body from just this one drink. Definitely do talk to your mum about how disrespectful it was, and how damaging coffee CAN be for young children though.

@Brefugee

DM claims it was only a little bit from her cup but the rim of foam around the edge suggests otherwise.

so you have no evidence whatsoever that your DS was given an entire cup and not the last cold dregs from your DM's cup?

I think you need to check what really happened - and then either tell your DM no more unsupervised access, or agree that whatever it was isn't allowed to happen again.

(I'm with the Brandy & Opal Fruits brigade. Plus beer. I'm sure I wold have been a captain of industry without all that nasty stuff. Still, it is what it is)

She had her own cup separate to DMs cup

@Turkeydrumstick

I’d find it a bit weird if someone came round and then sat in the car waiting for their kid to wake up, why not just bring him in?

We had just been out together and when we got back DS was asleep. I don't think IWBU to let him finish his sleep (which was only 10mins longer) when I didn't need to wake him up.

I’m not sure that coffee is the issue here - more like the fact that your DM deliberately gave her something that she knew you wouldn’t approve of and then tried to hide it from you.

I drank tea and coffee daily from before I went to school - it was normal then. So while I understand things have changed, and I wouldn't give tea of coffee to grandchildren without asking, nor did I give them to my children, the "who the fuck would give a child coffee?" responses are very far from my experiences and many of my generation.