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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

3 year old and coffee

77 replies

rotavixsucks · 21/07/2020 12:22

AIBU to be cross that DM has given my just turned 3 DD a cup of coffee and chocolate cake for lunch whilst I waited in the car for DS to wake up?

OP posts:

Butchyrestingface · 21/07/2020 13:15

Does she understand that caffeine is an actual drug with measurable affects on the body, and that coffee is a stimulant delivery system not a fucking food?

Has 'coffee' become a euphemism for Columbian marching powder?

And where do you stand on the issue of TEA?

YetAnotherSpartacus · 21/07/2020 13:15

I had coffee at that age. And wine. And Brandy.

I lived.

mrsrhodgilbert · 21/07/2020 13:16

My dd used to like coffee when she was a similar age and used to want to finish my mid morning cup. I started making her a very weak, cooler one in a beaker with a lid. She’s 26 now, no harm done. If it’s part of a wider pattern of behaviour aimed to provoke you maybe you have a problem. As a one off, I wouldn’t worry

Butchyrestingface · 21/07/2020 13:18

I had coffee at that age. And wine. And Brandy.

I lived.

Pretty sure I had the occasional packet of Opal Fruits and a nightly cup of milky tea at the same age.

I too survived, but obviously as a mere shadow of the person I would have been had I been raised only on humus, carrot sticks and tap water.

xolotltezcatlopoca · 21/07/2020 13:21

Unless it's a regular thing, I won't get worked up about coffee. Though I don't think my dc would drink coffee at that age even if they were offered.
Cake for lunch I don't mind at all for one off.

FizzyGreenWater · 21/07/2020 13:22

We have a rocky relationship and have previously fell out about her behaviours with DD and I refused to allow her unsupervised access, I'm trying very hard to get along but things like this make it very difficult.

Why are you trying hard to get along if her behaviour around your child, and to you, is behaviour you don't like?

I mean, I'm guessing this is deliberate - giving your child something she knows isn't good for her and that you wouldn't like.

Stop unsupervised contact.

When she has a problem with it, shrug and say 'I don't like the way you look after her, I don't trust your judgement. It's my child, I don't have to leave her with anyone I don't want to'

It's really as simple as that.

withlotsoflove · 21/07/2020 13:28

It’s not wonderful. I wouldn’t be that fed up though.
3 is a small child - but not a newborn.
This is probably just another thing that has pissed u off about your Mum... it sounds like you have a rocky relationship.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 21/07/2020 13:34

Pretty sure I had the occasional packet of Opal Fruits and a nightly cup of milky tea at the same age

I was about that age when they started training me to make the tea. I could do everything but pour the boiling water into the tea-pot.

I don't think hummous/hommos/hummus was invented when I was young.

Anyway, my mother couldn't be having with garlic. Nasty stuff and fit only for those who lived on the Continent.

loobyloo1234 · 21/07/2020 13:36

I definitely had a plastic cup of tea at that age ... not sure why everyone is clutching their pearls so tightly on this one

YetAnotherSpartacus · 21/07/2020 13:37

My dd used to like coffee when she was a similar age and used to want to finish my mid morning cup

I actually distinctly remember my first cup of coffee. I was only about three or four and they gave it to me in a china nursery rhyme mug and all stood looking at me smugly while I took my first sip ... and then finished it and asked for another. It was life-changing. I LOVED it. It was only bloody instant muck too.

Brefugee · 21/07/2020 13:42

DM claims it was only a little bit from her cup but the rim of foam around the edge suggests otherwise.

so you have no evidence whatsoever that your DS was given an entire cup and not the last cold dregs from your DM's cup?

I think you need to check what really happened - and then either tell your DM no more unsupervised access, or agree that whatever it was isn't allowed to happen again.

(I'm with the Brandy & Opal Fruits brigade. Plus beer. I'm sure I wold have been a captain of industry without all that nasty stuff. Still, it is what it is)

maidmorion · 21/07/2020 13:47

Ah, it's coffee, not crack.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 21/07/2020 13:47

Hahaha I’d be annoyed but really, there‘s no harm done. Tell her to buy de-caff and make it milky if she wants to do it again.

okiedokieme · 21/07/2020 13:48

My DD's would sip my latte at that age and my mum gave them bottles of tea, milky thought

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 21/07/2020 13:52

@okiedokieme

My DD's would sip my latte at that age and my mum gave them bottles of tea, milky thought

My daughter is three and had a bit of constipation last week. An hour in mum’s bed, watching Disney with a cup of warm, tea soon sorted her out and got things moving. She felt really grown up too.

Ethelfleda · 21/07/2020 13:53

She is batshit. This is not ok!!

Ethelfleda · 21/07/2020 13:54

Different levels of caffeine in all of these drinks though. In tea, the caffeine is very low.
Instant coffee it isn’t THAT much
But a nespresso machine or Tassimo and you’re talking a much higher level of caffeine!

SpeckledyHen · 21/07/2020 13:55

From the age of 18 months my stupid MIL was determined to give my son tea . WHY ? When she eventually gave him one in my absence at the age of 5 it included 2 spoons of sugar . FFS , again WHY ?
She then went on to give him a packet of polos when he was 2 .
Not surprising that she is fat with dentures.

summersolstice43 · 21/07/2020 13:58

So coffee and chocolate cake for lunch? That's not even right for a fully grown adult never mind a 3YO. Sounds like she's not thinking straight. I'd be furious.

PasswordPatroller · 21/07/2020 13:59

Pinching my food and drinks is a game to DD (4). She is especially fond of my tea (black 1 sugar), the dregs of a milky coffee (2 sugars) or any dessert.

I use redbush when I make her her milky teas or black teas with lemon and half a spoonful of honey, when she asks for the occasional cup of tea. She's not allowed fizzy drinks, but the the odd squash made with sparkling water does the job.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 21/07/2020 13:59

I'd leave DD with my DM for the afternoon with glee :)

Turkeydrumstick · 21/07/2020 14:00

I’d find it a bit weird if someone came round and then sat in the car waiting for their kid to wake up, why not just bring him in?

Littlemissdaredevil · 21/07/2020 14:02

I give my 2 year old ‘tea’ and ‘coffee’ when she ask for it.

However, ‘tea’ and ‘coffee’ is Actually warm milk in a cup or mug, so that she has the ‘same’ as me

LadyPrigsbottom · 21/07/2020 14:03

@rotavixsucks

She wasn't joking...she wouldn't have told me. I only found out because DS has woken up so I went in and found DD drinking it.

Sniffed it proper coffee. DM claims it was only a little bit from her cup but the rim of foam around the edge suggests otherwise.

I honestly cannot imagine a 3 yo would actually drink an entire cup of coffee... unless it had a tonne of sugar in it or something. It's so bitter. My kids hate anything bitter tasting and I thought all kids did.

It may have been just a sip from your mum's coffee, as she said. What does the 3 yo say?

GrannyBags · 21/07/2020 14:10

String ‘proper’ coffee would surely be too bitter for a three year old to drink? How long were you in the car for - the coffee would have taken a while to cool down enough for a three year old to drink a whole cup

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