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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be p****d off at a stranger moving my trolley while DD is in it

37 replies

piximon · 29/09/2007 20:17

I was out shopping in Sainsbury's with my mum this morning (Dh had a car crash last night so couldn't use his car). We took separate trolleys but went around together. DD1 (3, but tiny and doll like) was riding in my trolley. Saw something I wanted while at the bottom of an aisle so told my mum to watch the trolley while I got it. She waited at the bottom of the aisle, and being a joker said to DD "excuse me please little girl" at which point a stranger started moving my trolley away. My mum followed her and then said "oh DD where are you going?" the woman stopped and said "oh do you know her" and then ran off.
My mum was so shocked she didn't think to shout at the woman. When I was paying the woman saw us and ran off again, at which point I started to feel sick and we left the shop (am 14wks pg). After I got home my mum told me the full story and Dh says we should have reported her. I don't know whether to give benefit of doubt that she was just embarrassed so didn't think to apologise. Or whether I should have reported her.

OP posts:

Twiglett · 29/09/2007 20:19

I was about to go god yes, if you park your trolley in the way then its ok to move it

but that's not what happened is it?

do you think it was an abduction attempt? .. call Sainsbury's and tell them if you do

Twiglett · 29/09/2007 20:19

and local police

get a description .. full description together first

ruddynorah · 29/09/2007 20:20

what? your mum saw someone wheeling your dd away and her response was 'oh dd where are you going?' i don't get it.

Sparkletastic · 29/09/2007 20:21

Yeah I'm not clear if woman was just moving DD out of the way or making off with her. If latter - ring store and alert them for CCTV footage etc and report to police.

berrybliss · 29/09/2007 20:22

if you think the lady was trying to take your daughter you should go back to sainsburys and look over there CCTV tape. I would if that was my small child.

ruddynorah · 29/09/2007 20:24

if your mum thought she was trying to take your dd away why ever didn't she go after her and say something? i really don't get it. wa she just moving the trolley out of the way?

mmandmm · 29/09/2007 20:25

Go back and ask to look at cctv! she could have though she'd been left and was going to take her to a member of staff maybe?

Saturn74 · 29/09/2007 20:26

I read this as a stranger mistakenly thinking your mother's way was blocked by the trolley, and moved it out of the way for her, not realising that your mother knew your DD.

But if you are saying that this woman was moving away with your DD in the trolley, then you need to inform the police.

And if this is the case, why on earth didn't you or your mother challenge her?

thomcat · 29/09/2007 20:27

Oh jesus! You can't really leave that tbh, just in case she really does need help. I think you have to report it.

Original poster

piximon · 29/09/2007 20:29

In these paranoid times I personally wouldn't go near someone else's trolley with a kid in let alone think to start walking with one.
I could understand if the trolley was in someone's way, them attempting to move it, but I had left them in the middle of nowhere so my mum could easily have gone around if the situation was real and not my mum joking with DD.
My mum actually was so close to my trolley that she bumped the woman. She said she was just so surprised she couldn't think what to say, (she's usually very vocal which made me worry all the more). The lady pushed her about two feet which seemed to much to just move her out of the way but not enough for my mum to call her an abductor.

OP posts:

nightowl · 29/09/2007 20:30

i do find it strange that a woman who was apparently trying to abduct a child and then "ran off" would carry on shopping in the same store?

i think she was probably moving your trolley out of the way, and felt a bit embarrassed. or was there more to the story?

Original poster

piximon · 29/09/2007 20:35

Now that's what makes me think maybe I'm being unreasonable to be angry. I would have thought if she was dodgy she would have left straight away. The fact she was still in there makes me think maybe she was embarrassed and just fled but was frightened of confrontation so hid from us.

OP posts:

cluelessnchaos · 29/09/2007 20:36

did she actually run off? I would have to report this, she my be just a local "character" but at least you would know, she may have been in a parallel universe, where she was taking your dd to the cust serv desk in which case if she wont mind being tracked down and checked out,

Original poster

piximon · 29/09/2007 20:41

Run as in literally run. I didn't see her the first time but did see her do it the second. In general I do like to give people the benefit of the doubt but as the day has gone on I've found myself thinking more about it. For all I know she could have been an off duty member of staff.

OP posts:

nightowl · 29/09/2007 20:43

i dont know what to think about that really. i saw a little lad aged about 3 in the toy aisle one day. screaming his head off. i watched him for a while (about 5 minutes), looking around for his parents..no-where to be seen. eventually i walked up to him and between sobs he told me he wanted his mummy. i took him by the hand to take him to customer services just as his parents came around the corner. his mum shouted "oh i knew where he was". gave me the death stare and dragged him away. really wondered if i'd done the wrong thing but he was so distressed. realise that's not the same as what happened to you, but i was very embarrassed. (dont think id have literally run off though).

cluelessnchaos · 29/09/2007 20:43

No way, call into the supermarket tommorow, tell them all this. How would you feel if, worst case scenario, she took a child.

Desiderata · 29/09/2007 20:49

A woman pushed a trolley two feet.

Am I right so far?

Original poster

piximon · 29/09/2007 20:56

I guess I was kind of hoping you'd all say I'm mad (been watching too much tv) but how I described it is how my mum said it happened, while in the shop she had said to me a woman moved the trolley but clearly I didn't understand what she meant. By the time we got home(and sorted out the other DCs) and she told me fully it was too late to go back.
I will call in tomorrow and speak to customer services to at least alert them and see what they say. I have a description of the woman so they'll know if she's a member of staff.
A friend of mine who worked at Safeway was taught if there's an unattended child they should be kept an eye on but not moved to save problems like this ever happening. DD was so engrossed eating a choc cake sample she was oblivious to whole thing. I too can't believe my mum didn't think to shout something.

OP posts:

BrassicMonkey · 29/09/2007 21:00

I think the most likely scenario is that the woman misunderstood your mum's joke to your DD and attempted to move the trolley out of her way. She was embarrased when she realised that your mum was minding the trolley and so scarpered when she saw you next. Of course it could be more sinister but I'd like to think it was innocent and her peculiar reaction was down to embarrassment. I could be wrong of course, but it's how I think I'd interpret it if I were you.

ruddynorah · 29/09/2007 21:08

same here. your mum said excuse me little girl, and someone saw this so moved the trolley 2 ft for her. then yr mum said where are you going dd, the woman said oh do you know her, than scuttled off, embarrassed. no more, no less.

Original poster

piximon · 29/09/2007 21:09

yes only a short distance, but further than necessary, they were at the end of an aisle. From the way I had left the two trolleys (like a train)she had to pull the trolley forward to give her enough space behind to start pushing it. Maybe towards customer services we were near the back of the shop CS at the front). As soon as my mum saw her behind the trolley (near DD) my mum spoke to DD and the woman ran off. My mum was unsure if the woman was trying to just be helpful (she had been the one saying excuse me) so didn't want to start ranting if the woman was just being helpful (I would have done).
It's a mixed reaction which is exactly how I feel. Most of me says innocent lady just trying to be helpful, a little bit of me says "what if" so I thought I'd get some other feedback.

I'd hate to accuse someone of something if innocent. An old lady once asked my mum to help carry her shopping bags across a busy road as they were slowing her down and she was frightened to cross. They got half way over and lady started shouting for the police saying she was being robbed.

OP posts:

Original poster

piximon · 29/09/2007 21:20

I guess she'll definitely think twice before doing something like that again, which is a shame if she was being helpful. My mum has had a good ticking off for playing games like that, and I'll stick to leaving them all at home when I go shopping. For my own piece of mind I have to believe that it's all a misunderstanding.

OP posts:

Desiderata · 29/09/2007 21:24

Well, I'm glad you didn't report her. It all sounds very innocent to me.

Cooperess · 29/09/2007 21:25

I wouldn't change your routine over it. No harm was done and when you think about it, it's unlikely that her intentions were sinister - a trolly full of shopping, a child old enough to know who 'mum' is, a shop full of other people and CCTV etc etc... I wouldn't give my mum a hard time over it personally and I'd just put it down to odd behaviour on the woman's part.

Desiderata · 29/09/2007 21:25

And it's a bit of an over-reaction to tell your mother off, and to not go shopping with your dc ever again.

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