To be p****d off at a stranger moving my trolley while DD is in it

[piximon]

I was out shopping in Sainsbury's with my mum this morning (Dh had a car crash last night so couldn't use his car). We took separate trolleys but went around together. DD1 (3, but tiny and doll like) was riding in my trolley. Saw something I wanted while at the bottom of an aisle so told my mum to watch the trolley while I got it. She waited at the bottom of the aisle, and being a joker said to DD "excuse me please little girl" at which point a stranger started moving my trolley away. My mum followed her and then said "oh DD where are you going?" the woman stopped and said "oh do you know her" and then ran off.
My mum was so shocked she didn't think to shout at the woman. When I was paying the woman saw us and ran off again, at which point I started to feel sick and we left the shop (am 14wks pg). After I got home my mum told me the full story and Dh says we should have reported her. I don't know whether to give benefit of doubt that she was just embarrassed so didn't think to apologise. Or whether I should have reported her.

[lilacclaire]

Why don't you call the police in the morning, they will be the best people to judge if it sounds like anything untoward.
It does sound quite odd that she ran to be honest and I would definetly report it, but I also understand that when your under stress you imagine the worst as well.
The police will reassure you one way or another.

[piximon]

I can't say if I trust my own judgement on the issue at the moment. DH crashed into a wall last night on his way home from work (he is fine, but I was still really upset) so I couldn't sleep, combined with watching Torn on ITV the other night, I could be jumping at shadows. DH was very uneasy after my mum's description of events though and he's usually level headed and doesn't like causing a scene. Of course he's also affected by the crash and didn't sleep well either so thought I'd canvass some opinions. Like I said I'd hate to point the finger at someone unjustly and need to clear my head before trying to get some sleep tonight.

[PeachesMcLean]

Piximon, no one except your mum can decide whether this woman was trying to abduct your daughter. She's the one who saw it. Does she think it should be reported? And if she's at all dubious about it, she should err on the side of caution and let the police look at it.

[cornsilk]

I also think the woman was moving her away from your mum. I think I may have intervened like the woman did if I saw it from her eyes also. I would also have been mortified if it turned out that the 'stranger' attempting to speak to the child was actually her grandmother!

[lucyellensmum]

I would report it tbh, it sounds very worrying. I wouldnt move a trolley with someone elses child in it, if i inadvertantly did i would be mortified.

This reminds me though of something that happened to my dad, not really the same but sort of. My dad LOVED children and never did quite get that you have to be careful how your actions are interpreted. One day on the way home from work (dressed in very obvious orange railway overalls!) he saw one of the local children, probably walking back from the shop and was messing around with her, they were havinga a race, he pretended to grab her arm to pull her back and at this she laughed and ran home. My dad walked home, in the same road, thought no more of it. Then he went out again to the shop, he got half way down the road to have a police car screech to a halt in front of him and the police explained that someone had reported the "incident". He was of course able to take them to the childs house and she said they were just playing around, he knew the girls mum who confirmed that he was a family acquantaince. The police apologised to my dad but he said that he would rather someone make a mistake which can be easily sorted like that, than not report something suspiciouis and it be something sinister. I think he was a tad embarrased though

[Nightynight]

I meant the old lady and the cry of Thief was scarey, btw, not (necessarily) Sainsburys

[piximon]

lol not changing any routines over it. Usual routine is to leave DH at home with the four DCs and go shopping alone, a rare few hours of relative peace and quiet a week. Today I took DD1 as she needed new shoes and the shop is out of town. I think if DD1 hadn't been scoffing she would have screamed when the lady went near her, she's going through a scared of strangers stage. My mum's used to being told off so don't worry about her. She's from "oop north" and has a very thick skin which I sadly didn't inherit.

[Nightynight]

piximon, what a scarey story.

I read the whole thread, and I cant really give any opinion from what was said. I think you had to be there, and see the woman's body language and teh exact situation to make a judgement. Someone would need a damn good reason to move a trolley with one of my children in it though. (Like it being parked in front of the ice cream cabinet or something.)

[wheresthehamster]

Agree with BrassicMonkey - she probably thought YOUR MUM was doing something odd and was attempting to remove your dd from harm. When she realised her mistake she probably didn't want to be accused of anything so scarpered!

[Cooperess]

I agree Eric.

Piximom, please don't let this get to you. The woman in question probably feels stupid about this today, but would be mortified to know that we're discussing her actions as potenial child abduction.

FWIW I often move other peoples' trolleys out of the way for my own convenience, and would move one for someone else too, and I'm NOT a child abductor

[Desiderata]

We're not all jumping, Eric.

[EricL]

I think you are all jumping to some really far-fetched conclusions.

If she was an abductor she wouldn't be doing her shopping in Sainsburys after attempting this.

It was just a case of her moving the trolley out of the way. I do this all the time in the supermarket when someone parks their trolley in an awkward place. She probably thought she was helping then realised her mistake and was mortified.

[Desiderata]

And it's a bit of an over-reaction to tell your mother off, and to not go shopping with your dc ever again.

[Cooperess]

I wouldn't change your routine over it. No harm was done and when you think about it, it's unlikely that her intentions were sinister - a trolly full of shopping, a child old enough to know who 'mum' is, a shop full of other people and CCTV etc etc... I wouldn't give my mum a hard time over it personally and I'd just put it down to odd behaviour on the woman's part.

[Desiderata]

Well, I'm glad you didn't report her. It all sounds very innocent to me.

[piximon]

I guess she'll definitely think twice before doing something like that again, which is a shame if she was being helpful. My mum has had a good ticking off for playing games like that, and I'll stick to leaving them all at home when I go shopping. For my own piece of mind I have to believe that it's all a misunderstanding.

[piximon]

yes only a short distance, but further than necessary, they were at the end of an aisle. From the way I had left the two trolleys (like a train)she had to pull the trolley forward to give her enough space behind to start pushing it. Maybe towards customer services we were near the back of the shop CS at the front). As soon as my mum saw her behind the trolley (near DD) my mum spoke to DD and the woman ran off. My mum was unsure if the woman was trying to just be helpful (she had been the one saying excuse me) so didn't want to start ranting if the woman was just being helpful (I would have done).
It's a mixed reaction which is exactly how I feel. Most of me says innocent lady just trying to be helpful, a little bit of me says "what if" so I thought I'd get some other feedback.

I'd hate to accuse someone of something if innocent. An old lady once asked my mum to help carry her shopping bags across a busy road as they were slowing her down and she was frightened to cross. They got half way over and lady started shouting for the police saying she was being robbed.

[ruddynorah]

same here. your mum said excuse me little girl, and someone saw this so moved the trolley 2 ft for her. then yr mum said where are you going dd, the woman said oh do you know her, than scuttled off, embarrassed. no more, no less.

[BrassicMonkey]

I think the most likely scenario is that the woman misunderstood your mum's joke to your DD and attempted to move the trolley out of her way. She was embarrased when she realised that your mum was minding the trolley and so scarpered when she saw you next. Of course it could be more sinister but I'd like to think it was innocent and her peculiar reaction was down to embarrassment. I could be wrong of course, but it's how I think I'd interpret it if I were you.

[piximon]

I guess I was kind of hoping you'd all say I'm mad (been watching too much tv) but how I described it is how my mum said it happened, while in the shop she had said to me a woman moved the trolley but clearly I didn't understand what she meant. By the time we got home(and sorted out the other DCs) and she told me fully it was too late to go back.
I will call in tomorrow and speak to customer services to at least alert them and see what they say. I have a description of the woman so they'll know if she's a member of staff.
A friend of mine who worked at Safeway was taught if there's an unattended child they should be kept an eye on but not moved to save problems like this ever happening. DD was so engrossed eating a choc cake sample she was oblivious to whole thing. I too can't believe my mum didn't think to shout something.

[Desiderata]

A woman pushed a trolley two feet.

Am I right so far?

[cluelessnchaos]

No way, call into the supermarket tommorow, tell them all this. How would you feel if, worst case scenario, she took a child.

[nightowl]

i dont know what to think about that really. i saw a little lad aged about 3 in the toy aisle one day. screaming his head off. i watched him for a while (about 5 minutes), looking around for his parents..no-where to be seen. eventually i walked up to him and between sobs he told me he wanted his mummy. i took him by the hand to take him to customer services just as his parents came around the corner. his mum shouted "oh i knew where he was". gave me the death stare and dragged him away. really wondered if i'd done the wrong thing but he was so distressed. realise that's not the same as what happened to you, but i was very embarrassed. (dont think id have literally run off though).

[piximon]

Run as in literally run. I didn't see her the first time but did see her do it the second. In general I do like to give people the benefit of the doubt but as the day has gone on I've found myself thinking more about it. For all I know she could have been an off duty member of staff.

[cluelessnchaos]

did she actually run off? I would have to report this, she my be just a local "character" but at least you would know, she may have been in a parallel universe, where she was taking your dd to the cust serv desk in which case if she wont mind being tracked down and checked out,