AIBU to blare music out when my neighbours children are screaming their fucking heads off?

[HooNoes]

I'm just so sick of listening to it, so I'm putting my music on high to drown out the sound of the screaming.

When you say screaming their heads off... Do you mean a baby not in control of their actions, or a child or teen who is having a shouting match with each other/parents?

Are they your only neighbours?

I ask because the method of drowning out the screams isn't helpful if your other neighbours get a double whammy of noise....

They have two children, the latter of which seems to scream rather than cry - like no sound that I've ever heard coming from a child. The child is a year and a half and I've had fucking enough of it. They live downstairs. A man lives above me who has not yet complained to me about my music. But I can't listen to it anymore.

YABU. I know it's tough listening to a baby cry but imagine being the parents who can't escape their baby crying and now have to listen to their passive aggressive neighbour blare out music. I'm assuming you live in a flat. Noise is part and parcel of living so close to other unfortunately

You have my sympathy but to be honest I prefer the sound of children than blasting music so feel sorry for your other neighbours - especially if it has a heavy base. Do you have a relationship with the ones with the child? Noise is supposed to be more tolerable if you have some sort of relationship with the person making it. Noise cancelling headphones are great, really make you feel shut off, our neighbours shout constantly (not the kids but the adults) and sometimes I have to put my headphones on in our flat to get some peace!

Whilst I sympathise, because listening to your own child scream is hard enough....

A 1 and a half year old cannot control it, and it is hard for a parent to control it at that age too. I wish I had some advice because I can see how it must be awful to hear, but you might find blaring music makes it worse alongside upsetting your neighbour upstairs (who might be wanting to say something to you about your music, but hasn't yet).

Not ideal but perhaps earphones so you can listen to your music and not upset anyone else?

I understand where you are coming from, but the child is still very very young and may struggle to communicate. I My son is 3 and has only started speaking since the start of lockdown. He started nursery at two and compared to the other children he was non verbal. It will be hard hearing it all the time, but imagine how the parents feel dealing with it. At 1.5 he will have huge tantrums as he cant understand the word no, regulate his emotions or have any understanding of things. You as an adult can use head phones or sound muffling ones. In this sense I do think you are being a bit unreasonable as if your listening to music to drown him out, then why not use headphone? . I used to appologise to my neighbores as i thought at times they would think i was murdering him. They all laughed, said they knew as they had kids themselves, and said not to worry.

However if my child was screaming due to his limited understanding and lack of verbal skills, and my neighbore above blared music out I would be annoyed as it just makes the situation worse.

I posted recently about getting back at my druggie neighbore playing baby shark and got told in no uncertain terms how selfish this would be to my other neighbores. They were right and i took that on board.

Maybe the best way to deal with it aside from headphones is to get friendly with the parents and find out a bit more about the situation. You do still have to live above them and as was explained to me, petry games even though you are at the end of your tether, doesnt actually solve anything other than making it worse for everyone.

I think a bit of compassion here could go a long way

Yabvu. We live in a flat with a one and s half year old. When he wakrs crying for whatever reason the downstairs neighbour made a point of slamming doors to let us know they were awake. It had the opposite affect because it just stopped him going back to sleep.
While I sympathise, op, I can assure you those parents are fretting about their child's screams affecting you and are trying their best

Why don’t you blast your music into your ear phones then you can’t hear them screeching and your other neighbours won’t be bothered by your music.

Not 'blare out', but if it helps you to have music playing to distract from the noise then yes you should do so.

Why don’t you have a chat with your noisy neighbours and if that doesn’t help, speak with your quiet neighbour so you can at least play music they like.

YABU. It’s a toddler.

You either move out or you carry on listening to it; a toddler cannot help it.

I know you shouldnt have to, but do you have any noise cancelling headphones? I do empathise though, as much as it isn't the toddlers fault it's extremely irritating.

My neighbours second child is non verbal too and just cries and screams when he needs something.

Headphones are a good idea.

Loud music isn’t, as you can get into trouble for that from the council noise police. Ours issues asbos.
The crying child can’t get one of those so you will be the only one to suffer if you continue down that road.

If you are worried about bad parenting and the child being abused you should report it but if the child doesn’t speak and screams instead then that could just be a symptom of a condition which he has and normal for him. Imagine how the parents feel being stuck in the house with a screamer all day and feel sorry for them as they are likely doing their best under difficult circs.

YANBU

We had a neighbour like this. They used to complain about the tiniest peep we made but were oblivious to their 5 year old DD literally screeching at full volume pretty much the entire time she was in the garden.

YANBU.

Play your music.

Hearing a child scream continously would make me anxious AF. No one needs to listen to that.

Not sure how deliberately playing loud music thereby annoying other neighbours gives you any moral high ground over a family with screaming children

Yanbu to be fed up, but yabu to deal with it that way

So you want to join in and make even more noise? And disturb other neighbours? How about headphones?

The baby can't control it's crying. The parents can't make the baby never cry. This is part and parcel of choosing to live in a flat/in a built up area. You on the other hand can control your music and not give the rest of your neighbours two sound problems....

Headphones. The only way to save your sanity. The child will always win, so don’t make it worse by playing loud music and making yourself the problem.

Toddlers cry sometimes. I assume if the parents could stop it, they would. But children of that age push boundaries, and sometimes they make a big fuss when parents hold those boundaries. Would you really want them to give in to a tantrum? It would mean more tantrums in the long run!

It won’t last forever. Headphones are your friend. Turning up your music is just mean to your upstairs neighbour!

18 months old? Get some headphones and don’t be a dickhead.

I was going to say yanbu then I saw the age of the baby and changed my mind. that's a very young child OP - they cant help it at that age

I can't see much point really, its unlikely to stop the children from screaming and will probably give you even more of a headache and piss of the rest of your neighbours to boot.

One of my nephews screamed all night, every night for >2years and it drove both his parents and their neighbours scatty. The screaming sounded like a drill and never stopped.

Playing loud music when he screamed wouldn't have helped - it wasn't something either he or the parents could control.

As PPs say - headphones (even tho' it feels intrusive in your own home) or it might be worth some research into acoustic proofing and noise reduction although that feels like very disruptive and potentially expensive overkill when you don't know how long this will last).