AIBU to think losing your parents and getting a divorce are very different things?

[User198724]

I have lost both my parents this year (4 months apart) from cancer, when my parents were very unwell a colleague announced he was divorcing.

He took a month off while I covered his workload and then partly covered mine when I was off when my mum passed, when we lost dad he was annoyed that I wanted 2 weeks off because I “had so much leave already”. I had about 6 weeks all up for hospital stays and dealing with the death of my parents.

He has recently compared our situations saying we are going through the same emotions of loss.

AIBU that these are completely different situations which are absolutely incomparable?!

Also, so sorry for your losses OP

A divorce and a bereavement are both terrible things to go through, I’m sure we can all agree.

But I would say that as the saying goes, “where there is life, there is hope”. I.e. both parties in a divorce, while devastated that the life they planned is irreparably changing, still have the opportunity in time to move on with their separate lives (hopefully) and find happiness again.

Death, on the other hand, is final and the bereaved child has no opportunity to one day “find another parent”, whereas a divorcee can and probably will eventually find another partner when they feel ready.

Regardless, he shouldn’t be bitching about you taking time off - aside from being horrible it’s also really unprofessional! Please do report to HR if/when he continues. And condolences for your loss