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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

cat neighbour wars

34 replies

questionzzz · 19/07/2020 18:52

Asking for my youngest DB who lives in London.
For context: he moved to London from our home country several years ago and ended up settling there with his wife. They adopted a street cat as a kitten whom they adore to bits. Regular vets check up, micro-chipped. She's an outdoor cat. He's younger than me, and a wonderful brother to me and uncle to my kids. He is really distressed about this.
They've moved a new neighbourhood, and an elderly neighbour has started feeding their cat. She has bought fancy expensive cat food for this cat, which she came round to show my brother. DB was not happy and said he'd have to see if the vet approved her having this food (I don't know what it is). Anyway the neighbour had some sort of meltdown, said that "the cat is free to choose her owner in the UK" and "there have been court cases about this" and "he has no right to maniuplate the cat". DB feels threatened by her. Then the cat started staying out over night and they were worried sick. I don't if the elderly neighbour said as much, or if he's just guessing, but he is sure that she is keeping their cat "locked up" at night. I told him to calm down and most people lock their doors at night. he talked with the neighbours husband yesterday who he says is much more rational and "a normal person", and he has promised not to feed their cat or keep it overnight.

Anyway, I guess here is the question: do people really go to court over this sort of thing? is there such a thing as "the cat a has a right to choose her owner"? Added context is that DB and his wife are not yet citizens of UK (they are there residing / working legally), so this kind of thing is really freaking him out. I have never lived in London. I want to reassure him that the cat lady will not sue him over their cat.

OP posts:
questionzzz · 19/07/2020 18:55

TBH I find the whole thing a bit silly and even funny but I can see my DB is really upset and freaked out so I just want to give him some reassurance and tell him its fine.

OP posts:
Delbelleber · 19/07/2020 18:56

I think it's quite common for cats to visit other homes. But if they tried to lock it in against its will then surely it would be meowing and doing their heads in to get out so I can't imagine they would keep the cat against its will.

Soubriquet · 19/07/2020 18:56

Cats do choose their owners yes but it sounds like this lady is deliberately enticing the cat away

So no, your brother is not unreasonable. She needs to stop

Daisychains20 · 19/07/2020 18:59

When the woman showed your brother the fancy cat food did he not say to please don’t feed the cat?

I’m pretty sure that her threat means nothing, she sounds crazy Grin

joyjester · 19/07/2020 19:01

She is stealing his cat!

slipperywhensparticus · 19/07/2020 19:01

Next time the cat comes home shut the cat in build a catio

The cat is chipped to him what she is doing is theft

Tavannach · 19/07/2020 19:02

It's his cat.
People often feed cats because they genuinely believe they're strays. And there seem to be other people who try and lure pet cats into their homes with good food.
The cat's a cat - it can't choose its owner. Your brother should make that clear. And start giving his cat the food it prefers just to be safe.

ilovesooty · 19/07/2020 19:02

I'd be upset if my neighbours enticed my cats away deliberately.

Soubriquet · 19/07/2020 19:02

I do hate peoples who try to steal cats

Some cats really are a six dinner sid. They look healthy and happy.

Then you get some raggedy cats that you are unsure if they are homeless, ill or elderly.

Those ones, you sort of understand people feeding

But why feed the very healthy sleek looking cats?

Floralnomad · 19/07/2020 19:03

Whatever happens she can’t sue your brother because he owns the cat , if she’s a mad woman and won’t stop feeding it then all he can do is either keep it indoors or cat proof his garden so it can go no further .

MashedPotatoBrainz · 19/07/2020 19:04

You get people like this all over the world. They steal other people's cats and think it's ok. It's not. Tell him to get his cat back and keep in for a while (long while). Then tell the cat thief that the cat is at the vets because she's been feeding it the wrong food. He doesn't know how much it'll be but he'll give her the bill when he gets it. Let her sweat for a while.

ScrapThatThen · 19/07/2020 19:08

He should say (to the husband) if you keep it you will pay the vet bills.

poohfant · 19/07/2020 19:10

Not excusing her mad behaviour but might it be a solution for you DB to give her a rescue cat/kitten?? In hope that she leaves his cat alone

mineofuselessinformation · 19/07/2020 19:13

If the cat's not microchipped, your brother needs to get it done as a matter of urgency.

Soubriquet · 19/07/2020 19:13

@poohfant

Not excusing her mad behaviour but might it be a solution for you DB to give her a rescue cat/kitten?? In hope that she leaves his cat alone
If she wants a cat she can damn well go and get one!

She isn’t a child who needs mummies permission Hmm

questionzzz · 19/07/2020 19:14

So yes, he's looking into cat-proofing the garden, and has been keeping the cat in as far as he can. he and his wife both do shift work and are out of the house long hours so I think the cat is allowed to roam when they are out but maybe not.

The subject of the vet bills did come up- DB has been spending silly amounts of money on vets. Although as far I can tell the cat is perfectly fine.

OP posts:
questionzzz · 19/07/2020 19:15

@mineofuselessinformation she is microchipped. Love the username LOL

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SunbathingDragon · 19/07/2020 19:15

If they go to court then she will lose. In the U.K. cats don’t have the legal right to choose their owners and if someone can demonstrate a well cared for cat belongs to them (and your brother can through the microchip and frequent vet trips) then there is no way in a legal battle the other side would win. She is just trying to intimidate him. If he can afford it, I would suggest getting a solicitor to send a cease and desist letter - it sounds a bit like going in with all guns blazing, but the woman clearly isn’t grasping that this is not her pet and she has no claim so maybe if she received a legal letter telling her not to feed to allow in her house she enough then a bit more reluctant to carry on.

dayslikethese1 · 19/07/2020 19:16

Grrr I hate ppl who do this. Mark my words she wont want to pay the vets bills when the cat is sick, then suddenly it'll conveniently by your DB's cat again Angry

Itwasntme1 · 19/07/2020 19:18

Absolutely ridiculous and your brother should do some basic googling on this rather than freak out🤣.

If he is in the UK a cat is considered property and she has no right to steal it.

He has proof of ownership, I assume, through the microchip being registered to him.

He should tell the lady that the cat belongs to him, he does not want her to feed him and she does not have permission to lock to the cat in her home. He should also firmly tell her she is mistaken on the law.

Tell him to right a friendly but firm letter the cat is on a vet diet and she is not to provide any food.

She is bonkers and he needs to stand up to her.

Itwasntme1 · 19/07/2020 19:20

Write nor right ☺️

questionzzz · 19/07/2020 19:21

Thanks all great replies I'll tell him about writing a letter and reassure him that the cat is legally his. I'm sure he is googling frantically, we talked just after he had been talking to the wife and then the husband and he was still very distressed.

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shinook123 · 19/07/2020 19:21

There has been cases like this in newspapers.It always seems to be old lady's the culprit.Quite a lot of elderly ladies have received police cautions for feeding other people's cats as its seen as intent to steal.
He should have strong words and tell her under no circumstances is she to feed the cat or welcome it into her house.Tell her he will phone the police if she continues.

questionzzz · 19/07/2020 19:22

he also posted on a "pet forum" just sent me the link which basically gives similar advice...

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TopCherry · 19/07/2020 19:22

Oh bless him! Yeah get a litter tray and keep the cat inside until the garden is cat proofed. How is he doing this? Cats are crafty and will find a way out so he needs to be very careful! Our vet charges £40 for a consultation. Suggest he gets insurance ASAP. XX

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