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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What are the actual grandparent rules and what should I do?!

49 replies

Marleymoo42 · 19/07/2020 08:31

Going back to work soon. Dh and I are key workers. Nursery is sorted for half the week for our youngest, childminder for older 2. We were planning on grandparents having youngest 2 days a week and doing a couple of school drop offs.

I have read the rules over and over and we are doing everything by the book. We are now seeing the gps in their home but maintaining social distancing. Know this is allowed. However, if we have to continue to maintain social distancing how can they possibly care for a baby within the rules?!

I dont know what to do. At this point I want dd to be getting used to me leaving her with them.

Gps are worried about flaunting the rules if they do drop offs and care for dd. They are both retired medics and dont want to do the wrong thing but are also increasingly frustrated with the things we can and can't do. I get the impression if we had no choice they would help out but dont want to put them in an uncomfortable position.

I know the council would have to provide childcare as we are key workers but I dont want to send dd to an unknown provider if it is avoidable.

Gps are in good health. My family have all had Covid (tested because of our jobs) so potentially a lower risk. I dont know what to do for the best.

Do you think the rules will change? Or should I be trying to find another childcare provider incase they dont?

OP posts:
Original poster
Marleymoo42 · 19/07/2020 08:33

Sorry posted here so you'd see it. After opinions more than votes!

OP posts:
JacobReesMogadishu · 19/07/2020 08:34

Dominic Cummings and Boris said people could use their common sense and if you needed to break the rules for childcare type stuff that was fine.

GinDaddyRedux · 19/07/2020 08:35

I've voted. Good luck with everything.

JacobReesMogadishu · 19/07/2020 08:36

Your DC will be less at risk with grandparents than in a childcare setting with other kids. I think as long as your parents aren’t in any high risk category I’d use them and ignore social distancing.

Original poster
Marleymoo42 · 19/07/2020 08:38

I think my issue is that I would be asking other people to break the rules

But also I think those people are going to be pretty gutted if I put their grandchild with 2 different childminders...

OP posts:
JacobReesMogadishu · 19/07/2020 08:38

And you’re allowed to bubble with another house now, can’t they be your bubble?

DirtyBlonde · 19/07/2020 08:38

You can bubbie with another household, can you not?

I know thar's not top of the verbiage , and the various iteration no make it complicated. But if you consider your two households as one bubbie, you do not require to distance from each other, and your plan should work.

But you will need to keep your distance from other households. Are the other set of GPs nearby? Will they be miffed? The family politics can be considerable

sunrainwind · 19/07/2020 08:38

I thought it was fine for childcare reasons. My children will be going to my sister this summer and, once they finish school, I'm not expecting them to distance from their cousins.

JacobReesMogadishu · 19/07/2020 08:39

@Marleymoo42

I think my issue is that I would be asking other people to break the rules

But also I think those people are going to be pretty gutted if I put their grandchild with 2 different childminders...

I think there’s a massive difference between breaking the rules to go out partying and breaking the rules to provide childcare. I don’t think it even is breaking the rules, even if they can’t be your bubble for some reason Boris was very clear that you could use common sense to interpret the rules how you see fit and if you needed to bend them for childcare that’s fine.
Original poster
Marleymoo42 · 19/07/2020 08:40

The way I've read it the bubble rule is still only if you are a single person joining with another household.

Otherwise you can be in each others houses but, unless a bubble, still have to socially distance which I suppose would enable you to care for older children but not babies and toddlers

OP posts:
OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 19/07/2020 08:40

My kids are spending a week with each set of grandparents this summer. I don't see what else we are supposed to do!

JacobReesMogadishu · 19/07/2020 08:40

No, the bubble thing has been extended. It’s for any household to pair with another now.

SandieCheeks · 19/07/2020 08:41

My council are saying children should not be attending more than one childminder/nursery so they wouldn't "provide" you with a second childminder!

SandieCheeks · 19/07/2020 08:42

@JacobReesMogadishu

No, the bubble thing has been extended. It’s for any household to pair with another now.
Not in England though.
JacobReesMogadishu · 19/07/2020 08:42

Oh no you’re right. Two households can meet indoors but should still do social distancing.

Ghostoast · 19/07/2020 08:42

I can't wait until people stop saying "keyworkers".

Subordinateclause · 19/07/2020 08:42

Pretty much everyone seems to be reverting to grandparent care. This could go on for months, maybe years. I'd just do it.

Daffodilsforspring · 19/07/2020 08:46

This was a question from the public on Fridays briefing. Boris said it was fine because the grandparents could be in your bubble.
You can reassure them they wouldn't be breaking any rules.

relievedlady · 19/07/2020 08:47

Grandparents throughout the summer holidays.

It's three days a week and on the last two weeks it's only two days a week but there are no other provisions or childcare options in our area.

Two sets of grandparents and both will be extremely upset if they don't get to spend some days with their grandchildren to be honest.

Normally they would have helped out in the Easter and may break but haven't and haven't really spent any time together due to Covid.

We asked if they felt comfortable with it and if not we would try and juggle things like we've done this last two weeks and this week coming up however they jumped at the chance.

It's using common sense and quite honestly when the government are encouraging us all to sit inside restaurants and eat left right and centre and to go to the high street I don't see the difference Hmm

It's going to be far safer with grandparents than being around hundreds of people Hmm

FrugiFan · 19/07/2020 08:48

@JacobReesMogadishu

No, the bubble thing has been extended. It’s for any household to pair with another now.
Only in Wales

Guidelines for England attached from gov.uk website

HOWEVER for childcare reasons it seems to be generally accepted to use common sense. Is it more risky for your child to be with your parents, or with a childminder? It is probably about the same, assuming your parents arent at risk. And since nobody actually seems to have a clue what we are and arent allowed to do, following common sense and risk assessment is the best way to go about things.

What are the actual grandparent rules and what should I do?!
fabulous40s · 19/07/2020 08:48

Another vote for just using your common sense

Daffodilsforspring · 19/07/2020 08:52

Boris doesn't understand his own rules on bubbles in England then because he definitely said it was OK for grandparents to do childcare at the briefing.

JacobReesMogadishu · 19/07/2020 08:58

@Daffodilsforspring

Boris doesn't understand his own rules on bubbles in England then because he definitely said it was OK for grandparents to do childcare at the briefing.
Yes, I heard this as well.
Suze1621 · 19/07/2020 09:01

I am a grand parent who has been providing care for grandchildren for the last 6 weeks when their parents returned to work. I am happy to do it and given school is open short days and daycare not reopening until next month, there was no viable alternative really. I do not think I am breaking any rules.

SueEllenMishke · 19/07/2020 09:01

Use you common sense and manage your own risk.
We aren't key workers but we've had to continue to work full-time with zero school or childcare. Two weeks ago I was at complete breaking point so we started using grandparents for childcare once a week.
Yes it is technically against the rules but it was that or complete mental breakdown. We assessed the risk and deemed it minimal ( WFH for months, very few trips to the supermarket, nobody in an at risk group)
That one day a week has saved my sanity.