What are the actual grandparent rules and what should I do?!

[Marleymoo42]

Going back to work soon. Dh and I are key workers. Nursery is sorted for half the week for our youngest, childminder for older 2. We were planning on grandparents having youngest 2 days a week and doing a couple of school drop offs.

I have read the rules over and over and we are doing everything by the book. We are now seeing the gps in their home but maintaining social distancing. Know this is allowed. However, if we have to continue to maintain social distancing how can they possibly care for a baby within the rules?!

I dont know what to do. At this point I want dd to be getting used to me leaving her with them.

Gps are worried about flaunting the rules if they do drop offs and care for dd. They are both retired medics and dont want to do the wrong thing but are also increasingly frustrated with the things we can and can't do. I get the impression if we had no choice they would help out but dont want to put them in an uncomfortable position.

I know the council would have to provide childcare as we are key workers but I dont want to send dd to an unknown provider if it is avoidable.

Gps are in good health. My family have all had Covid (tested because of our jobs) so potentially a lower risk. I dont know what to do for the best.

Do you think the rules will change? Or should I be trying to find another childcare provider incase they dont?

Thanks everyone. I think common sense will have to prevail!

We aren't really rule breakers so it doesnt come naturally! Dh worked through the peak in hosptial. We recently lost my uncle to covid and a great aunt has just contracted it so breaking the rules isnt something we would do lightly but the rules make no sense to me

My children are being looked after by grandparents half the week this summer. I managed for 3 months - working while home schooling - I can’t anymore

Where can I see the latest Boris briefing where he talks about childcare? Cant find it

Just found it. What a total car crash that man is. Why am I bothering to read official government guidelines when the PM has got a clue what they are?!

Can you link to what Boris said please?

The bubble is irrelevant it is the care part it has always even in strict lockdown been permissible to go to another household for care purposes and so taking your child to your parents so they can care for them was always permissible, they don't need to social distance from him as providing care they do need to social distance from you when you pick your child up.

It’s literally mental that you don’t see it’s far far safer and preferable to have their grandparents looking after your children than be in a nursery mixing with lots of other children and adults without SD than your own family! THIS Kind of scenario is what Bojo refers to when he says use your common sense. 🤯

it has always even in strict lockdown been permissible to go to another household for care purposes and so taking your child to your parents so they can care for them was always permissible

I don't think that's true is it?

I know the council would have to provide childcare as we are key workers

This isn't happening in our area. I know a lot of NHS staff and many have had to use GP's or other relatives for childcare due to lack of availabile provision so I wouldn't bank on the council providing anything!

@mocktail

Can you link to what Boris said please?

It's on iplayer. Search for news special and Fridays date

Key worker care from councils will stop end of summer too. So do what you have to.

I know thar's not top of the verbiage , and the various iteration no make it complicated

Sorry I know it’s childish and autocorrect related but this slightly confusing sentence didn’t half make me chuckle.

The rules were actually really clear on grandparents. When most nursery providers closed in april, I had friends who were both key workers. They had to use the council to find new childcare arrangements for pre schoolers. I assume if we went into a second strict lockdown the rules would be the same.

I think it’s fine for all the reasons stated above so long as GPs are happy.

If you want a technicality that isn’t the bubble then pay them, then they are going to work!

I thought the keyworker provision finished when schools broke up last week? Not sure where you are, but I’ve not heard of councils organising childcare for key workers over the summer.

Thanks very much mumsnetters! Full of wisdom, as always.

I think I will send the gps the clip of Boris, so we can all be reassured we are following the PMs advice...

And check that they are happy to follow it.

Common sense tells me it is the sensible option.

I am disappearing now. Thanks again x

@mocktail

it has always even in strict lockdown been permissible to go to another household for care purposes and so taking your child to your parents so they can care for them was always permissible

I don't think that's true is it?

No, not really. But after Dominic Cummings did exactly this, they kind of retro-fitted the guidelines and said it was OK to do this. So if it was OK for him to do it in April it must be fine for OPto do it now in July while levels are so much lower

As long as you as parents and the grandparents are happy with the situation then yes grandparents can look after the children.

OP said she was disappearing, but I'd be interested to know how old these GP are - given that it was only meant to be the 'elderly' GP who needed to be kept away from potentially germy grandchildren!

I recall early on thinking that it's a bit stereotypical to assume all GP are elderly and vulnerable, given that many (those of the younger children needing minding) are no more vulnerable than their adult children.

Someone said on another thread some schools are only letting a parent collect a child which seems very unfair on working parents to me but certainly worth checking in advance.

VickyEadieofThigh I agree. My DP's are 60yo, no underlying health conditions and are fitter and more active than many people in their 30's and 40's! Whereas DH's parents are over 70, lots of health issues, never been good at taking care of themselves. But I remember very clearly Boris going on TV and stating children should not be left with "grandparents", he did not specify anything around age or the state of their health. So I see where confusion comes into play as even if it does specify elderly GP's in the actual written guidance, many people will have watched the briefings and taken advice from that.

The first time most of us went to the supermarket in lockdown we realised that it was usually impossible to complete a big shop without breaking social distancing rules - for example, there was often someone within 2 metres. We had to eat so we had to shop whilst being sensible and adhering to the rules as best we could.

When you have to work, you have to have someone looking after the children. The GPs are probably the best option. They love your children. They are intelligent and are retired medics.

Surely this is the time to talk to them. They need to know what you need. You need to know what they are prepared to do. Talk, discuss, come up with a plan. No-one putting unfair pressure on any one else, but everyone saying what they mean. No game playing, just time to talk frankly. It may need a series of talks as people reflect on what others are said. But talk to the GPs.

To answer your final question: think it is very likely the rules will change, particularly the ones that are unworkable but waiting for the rules to change would be foolish.

@Marleymoo42

The rules were actually really clear on grandparents. When most nursery providers closed in april, I had friends who were both key workers. They had to use the council to find new childcare arrangements for pre schoolers. I assume if we went into a second strict lockdown the rules would be the same.

It has always been permissible for anyone to provide essential care. At the start of lockdown it was stated that grandparents in the vulnerable category eg over 70, should not be providing care.

My parents are in their 60’s & have both worked full time during lockdown as well as providing essential care for an elderly lady family friend who the have LPOA for.

My in laws on the other hand are over 70 with various health conditions.

Think of them as guidelines not rules. You wont get a punishment if you break them.
We cant be given direct instructions for every single scenario that might pop up.
Just use your common sense to minimise risk.