Are our dc missing out?

[Twinkletwinklechocbar]

We usually go on some type of holiday 1-2 times a year. We will also do a couple of days out to theme parks. As well as fairly regular trips to swimming, soft play, parks, cinema, out for pizza. Pre Covid obviously.

When we go on holiday we might do one abroad and one camping/UK trip. But we tend to avoid all inclusive or places with lots of on site entertainment. Mainly because we've found them to be noisier, more crowded and just not as nice. In our opinion. We live in a city with plenty to do so prefer a more scenic holiday.

So for example last year we went to Spain but the hotel we stayed in the entertainment was all very low key/finished by 9pm. We then went camping later in the year to a quiet but lovely site. There was a play area and sports field but no bar, swimming pool, kids clubs or anything like that.

Anyway, my in laws are forever saying we should go to Butlins, or other similar places, because there will be more for the dc to do or generally just criticising our choice of holiday telling us there's not much for children to do.

Are the dc really missing out?

My children go abroad three times a year.... but you ask my 6 year old what his favourite holidays are and he will ALWAYS say Butlins If I offered him a week in Turkey or 5 days in Butlins, he will choose Butlins every time

When I was little I always preferred my trips to Butlins than holidays abroad

That’s not to say your children are missing out....but by God some kids really love Butlins

I love going now just to see how happy my children are whilst we are there. They love a pool and a beach on an overseas trip but in their eyes it doesn’t compare to all the fun Butlins offers

We never took our kids to Butlins or anywhere similar, and they are just fine. You will know if your children are happy and enjoying themselves, and fun isn’t ‘one size fits all’.

I’m sure your dc aren’t missing out!

We only ever stay in villas. My parents think my kids should be in a hotel with a kids club. I’m actually very outgoing-but on my own terms (I’m not a knob I promise). I only like my own music so Europop around a pool is my idea of hell on earth. I don’t want to queue for a buffet or get up at 6am for a sun lounger. I’m not a fan of organised fun. We go camping with friends for 2 nights and I drink wine so people don’t piss me off. My kids do lots of clubs and we did stay in hotels in America last year and most were fine but even the kids didn’t like the busy ones. For now we are happy being anti social old goats. I’m also a teacher and not sure I want pupils seeing me in a bikini-it’s not a pretty sight!

I think I'm an antisocial old goat.

Dc always have a lovely time on holiday but I wonder if they could be having an even better time.

Although ds is getting to the age where he's more worried whether we've got WiFi than whether there's any entertainment.

The only holidays I had as a child were few and far between, and there was never any entertainment. Holidays were time to spend as a family or we found other kids to play with (I remember playing Barbie with a French girl when I was little, she spoke no English and I didn't speak French, but we had a wonderful time!)
We have never done all inclusive or anything with on site entertainment, I can't think of anything worse. DS has always found children to play with, even with a language barrier. DS gets to learn new languages and try local cuisines, and spend quality time with his family. If your kids are missing out, then so is mine!

Your children are getting multiple days out and 2 holidays a year. I fail to see how they are missing out in any way.

I don't think holidays are all about the children, we all have things we need from a holiday and for me, the thing I don't need is crap food, creepy entertainers and crowded pools! We either do very quiet holidays with lots of dog walking in the UK, or city breaks. Usually let DS pick the city mind you, but it's our style of holiday.

We always avoid holidays with kids entertainment. Yes it’s the children’s holidays but I’m paying so why should I put up with something I’m very uncomfortable with. They don’t know what they’re missing out on.
We go to villas or apartments and have lots of beach days and meals out and exploring, it’s about half the price of a package all inclusive holiday. We do centre parcs and things too. I couldn’t justify spending so much on Butluns when I won’t enjoy it

Holidays aren't important really.... A bit goady. Many don't ever have a holiday so I think you will all be ok

My sister tried to take my son to Pontins when he was about 7 and he said it looked like a prison camp and they ended up in a 4* hotel down the road instead . I assume Butlins is better than that but my now adult son would tell you your kids are definitely not missing out !

Well my children (14 and 16) have only been abroad on school trips and have only had about 5 holidays in the UK, I was a single parent for years struggling to pay the bills and put food on the table after my abusive ex left me with a load of debt.
We don’t struggle anymore but we haven’t been on holidays as we are desperately trying to save a house deposit.
I definitely don’t think your children are missing out

Butlins is my idea of hell and we are a very go out and do type family, it's not that I'm a homebody or antisocial, I just don't want to sleep in a caravan and go to a children's disco every night. My parents keep saying how much DS will miss out (we have several foreign holidays a year, we're booked for efteling and bluestone next year already), so I suggested they could take him if they like, they jumped at the chance and booked for next summer they're taking his two cousins too. DH and I are planning on a last minute city break child free! It's a win win

Holidays aren't important really.... A bit goady. Many don't ever have a holiday so I think you will all be ok

I realise that. As a child I didn't go on holiday at all. Or have days out. The most entertainment I had was playing out with friends and the local youth holiday camp. My parents never had any money and couldn't be bothered even if they did. Which is probably why I'm a bit unsure of getting the right balance.

We are extremely fortunate to get to go away. It was more my in laws make me feel as though I'm being selfish not doing more of a child centred holiday.

I don't think your DC are missing out - quite the opposite! They do a lot more than most DC, by the sounds of it.

However, I always thought I would hate Butlins. Never looked at it. But I was in a situation a couple of years ago where I was very unwell and we had to cancel our summer holiday the year before and hadn't done anything fun with the DC for a year. I wanted to take them somewhere where there was lots to do as I couldn't do much with them myself. I decided to take them to Butlins. I thought they would love it and I would hate it but it was a holiday for them. I was actually pleasantly suprised. I booked the cheapest accomodation thinking it would be a bit of a dump. It was actually fine - travel lodge standard - basic but clean and comfortable. The main bedroom even had a small sitting area with coffee table and there were glasses and plates for drinks/snacks as well as usual tea/coffee facilities. The food was nicer than expected too and the landscaping was really nice with lots of deckchairs around for me to relax in while they went on the trampolines or played mini golf. My DC (11 and 6 at the time) really enjoyed the evening entertainment as did I. They had 2 showrooms - one for little ones (toddler shows early and family entertainment later) and one aimed at older DC (family entertainment earlier and then more adult aimed shows later - arcade for kids to play in while parents watch the show).

I don't know what it would be like during school holidays as we went during term time but it was very chilled while we were there. I never thought I would say this - but I'd go back!

@superram

We only ever stay in villas. My parents think my kids should be in a hotel with a kids club. I’m actually very outgoing-but on my own terms (I’m not a knob I promise). I only like my own music so Europop around a pool is my idea of hell on earth. I don’t want to queue for a buffet or get up at 6am for a sun lounger. I’m not a fan of organised fun. We go camping with friends for 2 nights and I drink wine so people don’t piss me off. My kids do lots of clubs and we did stay in hotels in America last year and most were fine but even the kids didn’t like the busy ones. For now we are happy being anti social old goats. I’m also a teacher and not sure I want pupils seeing me in a bikini-it’s not a pretty sight!

I only like my own music

Wow. So many questions, so little time....

I’m not a fan of organised fun.

That’s the key thing. I’m not either but some people love it. It’s just a matter of taste and personality. There’s no right or wrong.

Butlins is my idea of hell and we are a very go out and do type family, it's not that I'm a homebody or antisocial, I just don't want to sleep in a caravan and go to a children's disco every night.

That’s a bit of a judgemental and snobby thing to say.

When I went to Butlins last year we stayed in an amazing bungalow with its own enclosed patio and garden area, separate living room and kitchen areas, a lovely bathroom and three bedrooms.

And as the poster above says, there’s more to the evening entertainment than just a “children’s disco”.

Butlins may be your idea of hell but at least get your facts right about what it has to offer before disparaging it, and in effect, those who choose to go there and enjoy it.

We’ve done a couple of holidays where there were kids clubs and not a single one of my 3 wanted to go to any of it! They don’t make friends with other kids and don’t like the evening entertainment. Well DD would probably like some bit the boys hate loud music/discos/etc

We generally even when staying at places with entertainment go out for the day exploring/sightseeing and then pool/beach late afternoon to cool off and then cook/meal out followed by board games and reading!!

My DC refuse to engage with any form of kids' entertainment. Dd told me last year that holidays are for "family time". Sometimes I'd like to drink sangria in peace..

We did go to but kind a few times when kids were toddlers as DH friend had a caravan there. Kids loved the day entertainment and the pool and funfair. We didn’t go to much of the evening entertainment though.

We tend to self cater but even when we have stayed in hotels we've never really used the children's clubs etc. Well, my DD used to like the "mini disco" when she was 6 or 7, but the boys would rather have chopped their own limbs off than join in with anything like that, even when they are little. None of them showed any interest in the day time activities. We generally prefer the privacy of a villa - we're not a terribly sociable lot really.

No. Not al all. You’ll be introducing them to plenty of other experiences. We don’t all have to do the same thing just because it’s popular/marketed to us!

Just a wonder... how much have you been socialising to your friend’s knowledge? Have you been obeying the rules, showing caution?

We go for walks and meet friends at a distance but only friends I trust. Those who have been mixing and breaking rules for months get the politest vaguest brush off I can give. I had to lie to one friend that I don’t go out to get her to back off.

Sorry I posted the above on the wrong post. Ignore!! Oops

My father had similar 'can we do better' feelings?, but in the end I don't really remember most of the holidays. Like, I know we went to Disney World, but I don't remember much about it even at 12 or so, but more than all the things, I remember my parents getting frustrated about it and it all feeling like a show which is very Disney, but it wasn't that much fun.

While I try to balance trips between kids-focused and adults, I don't think you should do anything you're going to not enjoy just for them. There are so many options and I think kids remember family enjoyment more than things specifically aimed at them.