Are our dc missing out?

[Twinkletwinklechocbar]

We usually go on some type of holiday 1-2 times a year. We will also do a couple of days out to theme parks. As well as fairly regular trips to swimming, soft play, parks, cinema, out for pizza. Pre Covid obviously.

When we go on holiday we might do one abroad and one camping/UK trip. But we tend to avoid all inclusive or places with lots of on site entertainment. Mainly because we've found them to be noisier, more crowded and just not as nice. In our opinion. We live in a city with plenty to do so prefer a more scenic holiday.

So for example last year we went to Spain but the hotel we stayed in the entertainment was all very low key/finished by 9pm. We then went camping later in the year to a quiet but lovely site. There was a play area and sports field but no bar, swimming pool, kids clubs or anything like that.

Anyway, my in laws are forever saying we should go to Butlins, or other similar places, because there will be more for the dc to do or generally just criticising our choice of holiday telling us there's not much for children to do.

Are the dc really missing out?

We went to Butlins once when I was a child and while it was enjoyable enough, I have much fonder memories of other holidays.
I had a friend who had travelled to loads of different countries but the time she was teenager but her favourite holidays were Butlins ones

Mine choose where we go in the main, we can do other paces when they are grown up. If your children get a say in where they go then they won’t be missing out on things they want to do.

Like adults, children have their own likes and dislikes. Butlins or camping they wouldn’t have picked, they prefer to do and see things not stay in one place.

I hated Butlins even as a child. It used to totally freak me out. It was loud and crowded and busy.

I much preferred quiet beach holidays abroad. But I've always been an introvert.

Holidays are for everyone in the family not just the children so if you & your partner hate the idea of Butlins, all-inclusive holidays with kids clubs and similar then dont go do what suits you.
If your kids have never experienced that sort of holiday they wont miss it because they've never known it.

FWIW it's not our thing, we've never done it and our kids are perfectly fine.

Not my cup of tea at all. I would rather save up a bit more cash and go abroad. My memories of it are not great.

My DC grew up with lots of different holiday experiences all over Europe and North America - but their favourite holiday ever, when asked, was a long weekend at a Haven holiday park in Mablethorpe. The nonstop entertainment programme had them enthralled, they joined in everything from the talent show to the treasure hunt. Happy days.

Places like butlins really don’t appeal to me, I couldn’t go there as it just isn’t my thing. I don’t think my kids are missing out.

If your all happy, that's all that matters. Kind of the point of a holiday really. Why don't the in-laws take them to Butlins if it's that important to them. We've never been ones for the organised fun. Ours were happy and still come with us as young adults. Our holidays can't be that bad then

I never heard of Butlins before now. Well, I'll be. I see it's quite a British institution. I don't think I would like that kind of holiday, though, personally.

As someone who worked a season in Butlins many years ago, I wouldn't holiday there if you paid me! Although I'm sure it must have improved since then. I remember feeling like this though and booked a place in Turkey one year with what was supposed to be a fabulous kids club. My son went once and hated it! So after that we didn't bother, and he loves holidays and travelling now. We also did the Disney thing when he was about 5 or 6, it was fun but twice was enough.

Dc always have a lovely time on holiday but I wonder if they could be having an even better time.

This is an unhelpful way to approach life imo.

With specific regard to holidays, what does that even mean? You should just choose the holidays you choose.

I honestly think you're creating a problem. You and your children are very lucky and the worry/guilt about this is inappropriate imo.

Why do your children need 'an even better time'?

Quite goady.

We usually go on some type of holiday 1-2 times a year. We will also do a couple of days out to theme parks. As well as fairly regular trips to swimming, soft play, parks, cinema, out for pizza.

I doubt you're actually wondering if they could have a better time. What do you think kids whose parents can't afford the cinema let alone theme parks and 2 holidays a year

We’re very much like you and I had the same thought last year about booking a holiday just with them in mind. I get more annual leave than DH so booked me and my 2 x DC into a holiday camp (not Butlins) for a week. They absolutely loved it and constantly ask to go back. To be fair, the activities were really good - archery, kayaks, pool jet ski things, football, arcades. I avoided the evening entertainment.

My DH suggested a trip to centre parcs once, I had to check whether his PhD was real and not some elaborate lie.

Another time he suggested Disney land Paris. I suggested he went alone.

I just don’t understand why adults would voluntarily go to what us essentially a holiday camp.

Well you know your DC and certainly once they're of an age where they can talk to their friends about holidays they'll know what other options there are.

I'd find it odd to go to Spain and not stay somewhere with a swimming pool, unless you were near the sea and went in the sea instead, but your comment about wifi indicates that at least one of your DC is old enough to have a conversation with about the type of holiday they'd like, but also suggests that they might be a bit old to appreciate Butlins, and even might be embarrassed about it - we only really ever went to Butlins when I was a child and that was widely seen as social suicide.

Barbaraofseville oh gosh we do go so where with a pool in Spain. Sorry if I wasn't clear. I was talking about UK holidays when I said that.

For example we went to Spain last year, it was a lovely place it had huge pools and near the beach, but there wasn't loads of entertainment and what there was was very low key/no pressure to join in.

We go camping but choose quieter sites, we are going camping this year but all the site has got is a shop, playground and football pitch. Beaches nearby It's lovely all the same. Dc will spend a lot of time bodyboarding in the sea.

In laws were showing us sites with bars, restaurants, pools, soft play and onsite activities and entertainment saying how there's loads for the dc to do.

Dc are happy because they don't know any different. I was just doubting myself because whenever we go away certain people seem surprised by our choice.

ffs. if yours are missing out, mine are positvely deprived...

in laws are wrong. yours are getting plenty more than most get. mine are getting more than lots of other families too.

Our holidays are for me
Dc are happy hanging out with friends and local days out. They don’t actually need holidays .
Dh and I want holidays and I don’t want to go to hotels and complexes with holiday clubs for kids.
My dc are happy to hang out with dh and I so I’ll carry on depriving them then.

Butlins would be my idea of hell, but I’m sure people would find my holidays their idea of hell!

I do take my son to disney Paris once a year (obviously not this year), but we only do two nights and I usually take a friend with me to retaib the last bit of sanity I have.

Usually holidays for us are to attend an event, so our last holiday was the rugby world cup in Japan, we were also going to Ottawa in August as I was playing in the Bingham cup, but thats cancelled.

We were meant to be in Sitges this week, a villa rather than a hotel, I have a severe kiwi allergy and my son has a fairly severe dairy allergy, so few hotels make meals to order so we get a villa with a nice pool and parking. Its often cheaper than a hotel as well.

No child who has a holiday is missing out, some children don’t even get a day out.

I don't like butlins or theme parks or all inclusive....
So my DC won't go to these places - (except theme parks abroad, outside the counties school holidays! I can put up with this.)
I don't think they are missing out on anything. Holidays are family time, I would really hate to go somewhere and DC disappear for days on end for some "better" entertainment.
Holidays are for the whole family, not just the children.

We did so many different holidays until we went to butlins. The children are obsessed with the place we go up to 5 times a year. We once did two weeks and they still didn't want to leave. I like it because no dogs are allowed and the children are never happier. It's not for everyone and I would never stay in anything other than the most expensive accommodation.

@OohKittens

We did so many different holidays until we went to butlins. The children are obsessed with the place we go up to 5 times a year. We once did two weeks and they still didn't want to leave. I like it because no dogs are allowed and the children are never happier. It's not for everyone and I would never stay in anything other than the most expensive accommodation.

Have never considered Butlins until you wrote no dogs are allowed and now having a rethink!!

@labyrinthloafer honestly it makes a huge difference for me because I really dislike dogs and could never sleep in an apartment if dogs had been in there.

Our holidays are for me

Exactly. Our DS has a very nice life, and as we live by the sea, he's on the beach body boarding etc most day -- and our holidays are definitely aimed at the adults' interests. Which are more Venice Biennale than Butlins. I'm sure DS will survive.

Your children sound very, very lucky. They have a nice life with lots of treats and a mum who loves them very much .