Not sure if IABU or not. DH and I have been married for a couple of years. The house we live in most of the time was 'mine' before we married, everything in it up to now has been paid for by me, including the mortgage which is now paid off. We're both middle-aged, no kids and both very financially independent. DH works abroad a lot of the year so doesn't contribute to utility bills etc as he has to pay for rent abroad and when I visit him I don't contribute to the bills there either.
I've been doing a lot of work on the owned house, totally my choice and I've been happy to pay for all of this as I wanted to change a few things. I've recently been hit with a couple of unexpected bills, both involved things which needed immediate attention even though they were unexpected. The first bill has wiped me out somewhat but I'd worked out a way to stay afloat. The second one has knocked me sideways and I honestly don't know how I'm going to pay it.
I had no intention of asking DH to contribute or even to help me out. Yes, I'm stubborn but that's just the way I am. But his comments and attitude have really hurt me. He says he can't afford to help me out as it would 'leave him short'. I don't know how much money he has but I do know that he got an inheritance a few years ago, probably less than £100k but still a decent amount. I know it's entirely up to him what he does with his money but it has raised some alarm bills in my head as I'm now thinking that he has spent all that money and I really can't see on what, apart from beer and computers.
I'm probably not wording this very well as my head is in a bit of a jumble at the moment. AIBU in thinking that either a) he has got through an awful lot of money in a few short years with nothing to show for it, or b) he is not seeing our marriage in the same way that I do when it comes to supporting each other.