AIBU to want to wait a little longer before she can stay over?

[SuperPixie247]

Sorry! Its another coronavirus one but I am really torn and it is ruining home life.

I am shielding, working from home and I withdrew my DS from nursery as I was worried. I haven't been out since March! Like many areas, delivery slots were like gold dust so my DP was donning a mask and going to sainsburys, showering on his return, purrelling like mad etc. We haven't relaxed this as yet. I think the death and infection toll are still quite high.

My DSD lives around 50 miles away and, as her DM has been working (though not a key worker) she has been in school since lockdown. She has also been round the shops, no mask etc. My DP struggled not to see her so he started going for socially distanced walks when the lockdown was lifting. I was concerned but compromised.

This morning he has just dropped on me that she is staying on Saturday night! I know she is his DD and my DSD and my DS is missing her too but it has taken me aback. We have had a row and he has stormed off to God knows where.

I am so torn. I have been so careful with our household and it has thrown me. I'm not the evil stepmother but I feel so strongly This whole covid-19 has really shook me up, my DS is starting school in September and I am struggling with that too. I can't defer his place as he was born mid-March

TIA

@WhatOnEarth67 possibly he was last year so that might make sense

The OP says she has an official shielding letter from April so one assumes so.

Heart disease varies I think depending on what it is and when it was

I think he is missing his daughter and feels frustrated with not being able to see her. Maybe you are not seeing things from his point of view and understanding that he is missing her a lot?
The risks are much lower now and you can create a bubble with his daughter.
I'm not sure if your fear of getting sick is controlling the house.

YANBU and you don’t sound like an evil SM at all! You aren’t stopping DH seeing his DD but understandably don’t feel comfortable with her staying over yet. Your DH should respect and understand your concerns, we are talking about a few weeks longer not forever.

Do you own the home?

It's a difficult one really. I don't think either of you are BU, but realistically you can't keep her away forever. There could well be a second wave.

I don’t think YABU. My husband is shielding and we are in wales so it’s been extended to August for him. He hasn’t been able to see his son since March either because of it. We all miss him terribly but he’s been to school, to other family members etc. We have done zoom calls and things. My husband is aching because he can’t see him properly but he said he’d rather have to wait than risk being infected and never seeing any of us again. I know the last bit sounds dramatic but we have had two huge losses in the past 12 months and it’s playing on our minds.

He screamed in your face and smashed up your plates?! DSD is the least of your worries, he sounds like a scary and unpleasant man