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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hoop has closed, soft play isn't opening for the foreseeable... AIBU to wonder what I am actually going to do this winter with two kids?

76 replies

AuntVictoria · 17/07/2020 21:14

Having a bit of a pity party this evening. I have a DS2 and DD is due any day now. DS and I went out loads over mat leave, to baby groups, soft play, stay and play etc. I don't know how I'm going to survive a year of entertaining two small children with nowhere to when it's cold and raining :( I know I'll manage and they didn't have all of these things in years gone past and were fine, but I'm feeling pretty downcast and worried about mat leave this evening.

OP posts:
Herja · 18/07/2020 17:12

I'm another who used pets at home as a day out. The kids fucking loved it when they were smaller. Really recommend it Grin.

Herja · 18/07/2020 17:20

Pretty much anything can be an activity at that age. Mine LOVED washing things. Any things. Anything they could reach with a sponge, but especially windows and skirting. Also hanging up and putting washing away. Over 18 months they helped, under they stole things off me and hid while laughing... simple cooking. I've had success with flapjack and crispie cakes as soon as they can stand. Painting with a bubble bath pre set up can fill an hour or so of fun. Heavy weight wet weather gear and going out anyway (umbrella for you and baby in a sling, puddles for other DC). Hide and seek. Jumping off things (beds, stairs, sofas etc) - many hours are still spent jumping on me off the stairs at ages 6 and 8. I consider it good exercise for me too.

I never did soft play (or playdates for that matter) because I hate it. You'll be fine once you get in to the swing of it! Promise.

vanillandhoney · 18/07/2020 17:21

We have no soft plays at all near here - the nearest is about 45 minutes away by car, so people just make do without:

  • go to the beach/park/nature reserve
  • go to the local farms/fields and see the pigs, cows, goats, sheep and horses etc.
  • toddler groups still take place
  • local swimming pool for toddler sessions
  • baking/indoor crafts at home
  • make your own sensory play stations
  • ball pool/paddling pool/mud kitchen in the garden if you have one
  • go to the pet shop to see the animals
  • build forts in the living room
  • the occasional movie day at home

I'm sure you'll be fine. There'll be plenty of other parents in the same position too - could you arrange playdates or something? Sometimes you could stay and chat, other times you could go home so you each get some time off.

lifestooshort123 · 18/07/2020 17:27

It doesn’t have to be a boring walk!
No, but not everyone relishes going out for a walk in the cold and wet - wouldn't life be dull if we were all the same? But hey, you muddy-puddle lovers crack on.

DreamingofSunshine · 18/07/2020 17:33

No toddler groups are running near me in London, are they running elsewhere?

There's a couple doing outdoor classes for groups of friends but they won't be running in the winter.

Intastellaburst · 18/07/2020 17:42

Where I am we get thick torrential rain and gales for hours on end in winter, plus hail storms. There is no pleasure in going out in it with the wind whipping at your face and blowing your umbrella inside out or your hood off, no matter how warm you try to wrap up. That’s my experience anyway. Like you I am dreading winter - can you join apps like Mush to make some friends locally so you can visit and have a chat together? Baby groups may be allowed to start up again by then too, if anyone can watch your older child.

mocktail · 18/07/2020 17:48

Does your 2yo go to nursery at all? That will give you a break at least.

Piccalino3 · 18/07/2020 17:55

Have I missed something? Will
Soft plays not be open by winter? Surely they can't be closed forever, they'll all go bust. My kids love soft plays and I'm trying not to think too far ahead, got to get through the next 7 weeks with a 6, 3 and 1 year old...

Bluepolkadots42 · 18/07/2020 18:21

@Piccalino3

Have I missed something? Will Soft plays not be open by winter? Surely they can't be closed forever, they'll all go bust. My kids love soft plays and I'm trying not to think too far ahead, got to get through the next 7 weeks with a 6, 3 and 1 year old...
Our local softplay announced in last few days they won't be re-opening. Absolutely gutted- it was brilliant and an absolute godsend on both horrible grey days and boiling hot days (air con!)- so sad for the lovely manager and staff team there.
OverTheRainbow88 · 18/07/2020 18:35

@lifestooshort123

I don’t love jumping in muddy puddles but my kids do..! So we do crack on! Thank you. Life is too short to always been clean and dry!

It was only a suggestion!

SomewhereEast · 18/07/2020 18:57

This is Mumsnet so you'll get lots of tiresome "Suck it up, buttercup!" replies, BUT....every time the next six months comes up in conversation with parent friends, the general consensus is that winter will indeed be mind-numbing. YANBU.

SerendipitySunshine · 18/07/2020 19:15

Soft play is grim. Every time we took DD she got a bug (vomiting or a cold) so we stopped going. Nothing beats waterproofs on and a long walk somewhere lovely with a big flask of hot chocolate.

NerrSnerr · 18/07/2020 19:26

Hopefully some groups will be open by then and soft plays open in some shape or form (I'm not sure if they'll have to rethink their business model to be 'Covid safe').

I'm all up for waterproofs and jumping in puddles but in January when it feels like it's dark all day and you're cold, wet and miserable it is nice to have something to do indoors.

Smallsteps88 · 18/07/2020 20:37

every time the next six months comes up in conversation with parent friends, the general consensus is that winter will indeed be mind-numbing.

That’s really depressing tbh. Are people really so unable to entertain their old children for 6 months of the year without a purpose built play space?

Smallsteps88 · 18/07/2020 20:37

*own

Original poster
AuntVictoria · 18/07/2020 22:22

Thank you all for the suggestions and for the reassurance! DS and I already have waterproofs and he loves jumping in muddy puddles. I usually love going for a walk but after 4 months of going for a walk every single day, instead of our usual variety of activities, I do not relish the idea of doing so all through winter. However, I am very lucky to have a zoo, farm and playgrounds all close to us, so we'll be visiting them all plenty (as we have already since lockdown eased!). I also have quite a few friends nearby with small children and we've all been meeting regularly for the past few weeks. Life has definitely got much better since lockdown started easing - but I think I was in denial and just assumed everything would be back to normal come autumn, so it just felt like a bit of blow to realise that's not the case. I'm weird in that I love both soft play (there's 3 in my town!) and toddler groups, so I just feel sad that they won't be returning any time soon.

Thanks again all, some really excellent ideas for making our house more exciting and entertaining my toddler!

OP posts:
modgepodge · 18/07/2020 22:42

I’m with you OP, I like soft play and toddler groups. I hate walking. I wasn’t a fan before lockdown, I then did it almost every day during lockdown just to get out the house and pass time time and now hate it even more. It’s tolerable with a friend but I’d rather be in a cafe. Walking in the rain is the pits.

I’m dreading winter. Thankfully back at work now (and my childminder is fab and likes walking and takes the kids out whatever the weather - WIN my child gets to jump in puddles and I don’t have to be involved) so it won’t be every day to fill. As long as we are allowed in other peoples houses (and my friends come round to the idea no one is likely to die from sitting in each other’s living rooms) I think it will be ok. If we go back in to full lockdown I don’t know how I’ll cope.

Ozgirl75 · 18/07/2020 23:47

People are so snooty about soft play but the ones we went to when my kids were small were so much fun, mine loved it, and I would go with a friend so we would have a cuppa and a chat while they played. We also did tons of outdoor stuff but I think one of the best inventions for kids is the soft play centre!

TheMurk · 18/07/2020 23:54

I was just thinking the same today OP.

We’re in deepest, darkest Scotland. It’s miserable in summer never mind winter.

Soft play was our go-to.

I feel really sad for the owners of our local ones, really great places.

It’s really hard to trail young kids around in the pissing rain, or half darkness. I don’t have any answers, we’re in the same boat. Sick of the sight of the inside of my house too.

lifestooshort123 · 19/07/2020 07:34

Overtherainbow88
My muddy-puddle post wasn't aimed at you - apologies!

Postmanbear · 19/07/2020 07:48

I’m with you OP. I was talking to a friend yesterday about what a god send Playgroup’s are. The kids get to play with other children and new toys while you get to have a cup of tea and talk to other adults. I’m happy taking mine out to splash in puddles but it’s feels like an awful long day with my DH out 8-6 and no family near by to talk to.

glassbrightly · 19/07/2020 07:51

Some of these responses are a bit harsh. I'm with you OP I have a two year old whose sibs will now be in school and I think it will be a long winter. There's sometimes nothing better than a class/ entertainment organised by someone else in a warm safe environment we're you can have some adult chat !

I can see that the muse aims are starting to open so think we will do that a lot !

glassbrightly · 19/07/2020 07:52

Also meant to say that I did fine I needed less adult company with DC2 as DC1 was a great source of entertainment

Incrediblytired · 19/07/2020 07:57

You will be fine, there are lots of great suggestions above...

But...I just wanted to say - it’s ok to have a bit of a pity party. Everyone having babies right now are not getting what they expected, no babies groups and coffees with friends and it is a bit sad x

gigchuckedout56 · 19/07/2020 07:58

We're missing indoor activities like swim and soft play, and I don't feel like I'd be comfortable visiting even when they do open (taking dripping wet, shivering children home for their bath and getting dressed at home if changing facilities are not available at pools doesn't appeal to me). We love walks and have good outdoor gear but some days it's still miserable, especially with a tiny baby who needs feeding and nappy changing regularly which is logistically tricky at the best of times.

If you can afford it I would send your older child to nursery a couple of days pw. I know not everyone agrees but I kept my 3 year old at nursery during my mat leave. Nursery is so stimulating for them, and they loved mixing with other children, and gives you an option to sit snuggled and bonding on sofa with baby on the coldest wettest days of winter

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