AIBU re child maintance?

[Jadetreesbringluck]

STBXH earns around 1300 per week. He works away mon-fri so has to pay for accommodation and now will have to rent someplace nearby ( hopefully soon I'm going mad) . He will have the children 2 weekends a month.

I want 300 a week. Im not working at the minute (covid) am part time self employed but now looking for a full time position so i can save for a mortgage.

2 kids. 1 with possible Adhd (currently being assessed) who is a lovely but hard work!

He wants to see a breakdown of costs to jusitfy the amount. I feel I dont want to do that. 300 is 20% of his wage.

Id take 250 plus half of all expences like xmas back to school clubs ect... but im not telling him that yet.

He has often been out of work alot over the 12 yrs we were together so im fully expecting in the not so distant future that he wilk be unemployed and Il probably get 7 quid or something.

I want to save some of this money while he has it so im not left struggling.

What do you think?

Often out of work but he manages to get a job paying over £5k a month??

What does he do??

*misses point of thread entirely!

@frankiemintz
My dc are 11&9 now, I'm getting the spousal maintenance as is, £750 a month until youngest is 14 (5 years) then it will be tapered to £250 for rest of his working life, ie another five years. Then £850 child maintenance.
It was interesting. At the mediators ex fought to keep the cm down at £850 as per the calculator, but the mediators worked out I needed £1600 to maintain the children's lifestyle, so simply topped up the cm by sm to get to that amount.

Is he self employed? If he is you could be looking at much smaller figures depending on how he arranges his tax return

Not self employed. That is after tax. Il not say exactly what he does but its contracting..hence being out of work often and having to work away.
I have always worked and paid for everything when he was out of work.

I get £69 per week .. 1 child
£300 per week seems lots to me .
We didn’t use CMS , just agreed £300 per month and are both happy with that .
TBH I was going to suggest he drops it to £250 if he likes as I have just had a salary increase .

@babbi

I get £69 per week .. 1 child £300 per week seems lots to me . We didn’t use CMS , just agreed £300 per month and are both happy with that . TBH I was going to suggest he drops it to £250 if he likes as I have just had a salary increase .

Presumably your ex doesn't earn £300 a week

You said he earns £1300/week, is that gross or net?

Assuming it's gross, and he'll have the children 52-103 nights per year (that's 2 nights EOW plus a bit extra for holidays), the gov.uk child maintenance calculator says that he'll have to pay you £349/month.

However, if he's a contractor he probably pays himself a small salary and tops up with dividends, so he may well be able to get away with paying much less if you end up having to go via CMS. Might be worth calling them for advice.

I don't know why a PP said that he has the right to a breakdown of what you're going to spend it on. Fuck that, he absolutely doesn't. Obviously you're going to spend it on housing, feeding and clothing your children!

You need legal advice btw, given that you're married and there may be marital assets to consider (savings, pensions etc) as well the possibility of spousal maintenance (although apparently most courts favour a clean break over this).

The Advicenow website has lots of helpful info on divorce and financial settlement. Your local citizens advice may be able to point you in the direction of solicitors and law clinics offering a free initial consultation.

"the gov.uk child maintenance calculator says that he'll have to pay you £349/month."

Sorry, that's per child, so the total is £648/month.

Not £648! £698! I'll stop now

@arethereanyleftatall interesting, thank you. My problem is that my DC are older, still dependent on me for housing, food etc, but older teenagers. My solicitor said that if I get spousal maintenance it’ll only probably be for a couple of years.

OP, it's also worth keeping in mind that the CMS doesn't have jurisdiction over the portion of child maintenance payable as a result of a child's disability (i.e. where the care of a disabled child requires additional resources).

It is a fucking joke!!! I worked out that i will have the children around 680 hrs a month and him...72
If your're going to have to work more then the cost of a child minder for wrap around care and all day in school holidays for two children will be very expensive, and will go some way to justifying the amount you are seeking.

@AnotherEmma not necessarily. My DH is a contractor. He closed his company 6 years ago due to the gradual tightening up of tax rules.

That's why I said "probably" and not "definitely".

£300 per week is a lot. I would ask you to justify that too.

To those saying £300/week is a lot, that isn't the point. In a divorce, they try to retain the same standard of living for the children as near as possible.
So, to some people, £300 would feed a child for two months, (no activities, no new clothes) in another family £300 could be swallowed up every single day in school fees, plus tuition, plus horse riding, a new dress and fillet steak for example.
It's all relative to your own case only and no one else. If ops children have been used to having £300 a week spent on them, then the parents and courts will strive to keep that.

Wow Never realised two kids cost that much a week!!! How about either working or claiming UC and ask ex for ,£100 a week to cover clothes and food. No need to be greedy !!!

What arethereanyleftatall said.

The bar is fucking low when people accuse single mothers of being "greedy" for wanting the father to contribute 20% of his income towards supporting 2 children

(Having said that, £300 is not actually 20% of £1300. 20% would be £260.)

£300 a week is rather greedy. I’d ask you to justify that to.

So, @nicky7654
You think it's fine for a father to pay 7% of his income for children he chose to have, and to keep 93% to spend on himself?

@AnotherEmma ok

Oh, and also @nicky you suggest the government (so, other people's taxes) should top up to help the op with universal credit, but not the father? Um, right.

@arethereanyleftatall

To those saying £300/week is a lot, that isn't the point. In a divorce, they try to retain the same standard of living for the children as near as possible. So, to some people, £300 would feed a child for two months, (no activities, no new clothes) in another family £300 could be swallowed up every single day in school fees, plus tuition, plus horse riding, a new dress and fillet steak for example. It's all relative to your own case only and no one else. If ops children have been used to having £300 a week spent on them, then the parents and courts will strive to keep that.

Exactly this.

My ex pays for our girls proportional to his income, his brother pay his ex proportionally to his income for his boys - those are two vastly, vastly different amounts.

The lifestyle the boys live is completely different to mine - private school with lots of trips, horse riding, expensive spot hobbies - and therefore the maintenance my ex pays me would come nowhere near touching it.

The constant "why do you need so much?" race to the bottom over maintenance on here really annoys me. Just because one person's ex pay's £50 a month an they make it work doesn't mean that high earning men should be supported in scrimping on their children.