To say more should be done to stop romance scammers

[nctoday1]

I was really upset to find out that my best friend, an intelligent and amazing woman had fallen victim to a prolific con artist who pretended to be someone else and took money from her.

This man has now been arrested but now I know his real identity and have looked him up online, I can see lots of articles about him and that he's been to prison already for these kind of crimes and he's had convictions for scamming dozens of vulnerable women. He was breaching restrictions to stop him having extra computers and phones, but it didn't stop him scamming my friend and other woman at the same time. He'd even been in trouble for getting hold of phones and contacting new targets from prison.

I think more needs to be done to stop this kind of thing. I was suspicious of him as he told stories about himself I thought were probably made up, but I couldn't find anything out about him because he wasn't using his real name.

It's one of those things where you think it'd never happen to you or you know you're suspicious of strangers and think you could never fall victim. But my friend was exactly the sort of person you'd think this wouldn't happen to, but the man spent a long time convincing her of his fake identity before he moved in and started taking money from her.

Is there anything you think can or should be done to prevent people like this from continuing with their vile scams? I'm angry and upset to see the effect this has had on my friend and she's just one of many victims of this con man and there are many others like him.
Does anyone know if there's anything already where identifying pictures of romance scammers and con artists can be checked?

If you were suspicious, did you express these concerns to your friend? and if so, did she not consider it?

There is no list of 'romance scammers' as far as I'm aware. I suppose people just have to exercise caution and good judgment when entering a romantic liaison.

Happened to a friend of mine. He was taken to the cleaners by a Russian woman. Simple rule, never give any money to somebody you have never met in real life.

an intelligent and amazing woman

Intelligent, if she fell for a scammer?

I don’t know, I always think it’s weird when people fall for these things, but then I don’t lend anyone money. Especially not strangers online.

How can people be protected from their own poor judgement? I've done OLD there's scammers there, the rule is meet in neutral places, do your homework and pay your own way. I sneaked a look at dp's driving licence early on, I had already googled him (photo on company website) and early on met family members. I admit nothing is perfect if they are professional scammers but why would you give money to someone you don't know???

Every single story i've read of romance scammers, i've thought how could you fall for that? It's awful that it happens but people need to take responsibility. There's a big difference between vulnerable meaning lacking capacity and vulnerable meaning lonely/newly divorced or whatever.

The only thing which can be done is to repeat to people to not give money to god knows who.

You can't prevent scam like this.

It must be upsetting to have your friend be defrauded in this way, but really the only advice anyone can give is, do NOT send money to anyone who asks for it, even if they promise to marry you / pay it back / give you shares in their can't-fail business opportunity. WOuld YOU ask someone you had met through OLD to lend you money? Of course you wouldn't, so ask yourself why this person would do it.

What are you suggesting should be done op? It sounds like the guy in your friend’s case has been caught and is being prosecuted. That’s more than happens for most crimes.

How big a problem is it for society as a whole? Are victims normally from a vulnerable group? Is there some kind of reasonable prevention you think should be put in place?

@okiedokieme

How can people be protected from their own poor judgement? I've done OLD there's scammers there, the rule is meet in neutral places, do your homework and pay your own way. I sneaked a look at dp's driving licence early on, I had already googled him (photo on company website) and early on met family members. I admit nothing is perfect if they are professional scammers but why would you give money to someone you don't know???

They ought to be helped to develop good judgement, starting with education in schools.

They should educate about how to tell if someone is a scammer etc, in PHSE lessons.

And also not to lend people money etc, due to the likelihood that you will not get it back.

I always wonder how people fall for these things as well, I guess that’s why they say meet people quickly and don’t talk online for ages as it creates a false sense of intimacy

People have to protect themselves. Sad but true. I would never give money to anyone. A lot of the time they're just so gullible it's painful to read.

I think perhaps I haven't been clear enough - the guy who scammed my friend had a completely fake identity and life, he convinced her over a long period of time that he was genuine and didn't start asking her for money until months had gone by and he had lead her to believe it was a serious relationship.

Most people know it would be stupid to give people they're talking to on the internet money but that's not what con artists who spend months convincing a victim that they're someone else are about.

To the poster who said he's been caught - I know that but he's been convicted before and subject to licence conditions but he's still managed to con dozens of women who are none the wiser as to who he really is.

My concern is that everyone thinks it would never happen to them yet there are thousands of women out there just like my friend and what's happened to her shows how easy it is for someone to pretend to be somebody else

But it's not easy, is it?

I'm not saying he did a good thing, but if he spent months preparing the ground, then there's very little you can do about that.

To a certain extent, criminals are going to find ways to be criminal. Especially if they're going to go the extent of doing a long con.

Unless we go down the line of forced identification online etc, there's no way of preventing it entirely.

Then as I said that is why you shouldn’t spend months, or weeks even speaking to someone online! Meet as soon as possible and any one who doesn’t want to meet assume there is a reason for that and move on. is your friend vulnerable in some way?

@GoshHashana - I've heard about it happening to plenty of bright, perceptive people who never thought they'd fall for it. These people are good at their 'job' their draw their mark right in before they start with the money requests and the repeated reasons they can't come meet them/speak to them. As has been said, they take their time preparing the ground. It's easy to read it at a distance and think 'I cannot believe they kept giving him/her money when he/she cancelled on them 5 times and asked them for ££££ every time' but you've not been convinced that you are the absolute centre of that person's world over months.

I think there are two types here.

Scammers who actively enter into a relationship with someone, get to know them personally, meet up and perhaps even create a whole life with that person. The people who fall for these scams are victims

But people who meet online, spend time building a personality but who never actually meet up but still people give them money. IMO people who fall for that are stupid and I find it hard to sympathise with them. People shouldn’t have to be told not to give money to someone you’ve never met. It’s common sense.

People need to take responsibility for themselves here...

@PumpkinP with this guy they met quickly after speaking online. She knew "him" for months in person before he had "money troubles." I met him a few times too. I didn't like him but when I tried to check who he was the name and job was of a real person, but no pictures or anything more I could check against so I had to keep my mouth shut because my friend had fallen for him and didn't want to hear concerns about him

YABU. At some point adults have to take personal responsibility for themselves and their actions. The justice system is one thing but a person's bad judgement when it comes to handing over money is another.

What can the authorities do realistically? It ultimately has to come down to protecting yourself and not giving money to someone you have known a relatively short time.

Your poor friend. How is she?

Did they meet on a dating site or randomly? I admit I am baffled by people who start their “romances” on places like fb etc. Though I wouldn’t judge anyone who’s relationship started on a dating site! I can’t even really explain why!

As for something being done. I’m not sure what could be done, unfortunately.

Oh fair enough, I thought they hadn’t met, the ones I have read about the people have never even met the man, so I just assumed. I don’t understand how people have online relationships with people they’ve never met. You see it on online as well people scamming saying they have no milk for their baby etc and people fall for it all the time.

I'm sorry op, but the problem lies with your friend. There will always be scammers out there. It's down to us, to use common sense and gut feeling.

She didnt want to hear concers about him.
Same old story.
PHSE lessons when you are 15 arent going to fix this.