To think she should have known better? Trigger warning - DV

[Frederiki]

I've name changed for this as I know these people personally.

Three years ago a 'man' was sentenced to 6 years in prison for a horrific attack on the mother of his child which included horrible violence and what can only be described as torture. During this, he told her he was going to kill her and very easily could have done. The offence was published in the paper and online, outlining exactly what he did and what he was capable of. He plead guilty and made no attempt to deny it. He couldn't.

After serving half of his sentence he was released and within a few weeks he's in a new relationship with another local woman who knows all about the crime. This woman has children of her own, daughters.

Yesterday this new girlfriend posted on Facebook a photograph of her swollen and bruised face saying he has beaten her up. Cue 100+ comments from people offering their support and at least 5 of those saying they "can't believe it'

Far from wanting to victim blame my initial reaction was disgust and sympathy, but the more I think about it the more I wonder how she could have expected anything less than this to happen. Why would you get involved with somebody you know to be capable of something like this?

I can't fathom why you would knowingly expose yourself and your young daughters to a person like this.

So many women wish they had the benefit of foresight when it comes to dangerous men. I wish I had.

If you already know, you knew you were getting into.

The mother of his child has seen this now and feels as though what she went through was for nothing, her sole motivation in taking it to court was to make sure it couldn't happen again to somebody else.

Do you think I'm an awful person for feeling this way? I'm in no way saying she deserves it, it's deplorable and I genuinely hope she's ok, but just why would you put yourself in this position?

Oh you didn't upset me OP. I was agreeing with you really.

Too many people are so afraid of being alone they'll risk just about everything to have anyone

You’re not being unreasonable. What was she thinking of. Her poor children bringing a despicable man like that in to their lives.
If he has no qualms about torturing and almost killing the mother of his child He’s not going to have any qualms about doing it to any other women. He’s clearly a bullying women hater and I wouldn’t mind betting he was quivering on protection while inside.
Is he stunningly gorgeous and she wanted him hanging off her arm or something, because knowing what she knows that’s all I can think of as to why she’d get involved with him.

I also hope this time he’s looked up for a very very long time. The Law also needs a hard kick up the hooter here. Who deemed him to and safe to be let out.

Lots of people believe they'll be different. That the victim asked for it, they 'antagonised' him or 'pushed him to the limit', that the victim is 'crazy' and therefore 'difficult'. They believe they're a nicer more likeable person than her and it won't happen to them. I suspect that's what happened OP.

Lots of people believe they'll be different. That the victim asked for it, they 'antagonised' him or 'pushed him to the limit', that the victim is 'crazy' and therefore 'difficult'.

It's extremely sad when some women think that domestic violence is clearly acceptable 'if you deserved it'. Does it not worry them that, rather than being half of an equal respectful partnership, it means that they must constantly be on their guard to ensure they 'behave' so that they won't end up 'deserving' it as well?

'He left her because she was nasty/deceitful/annoying/difficult/crazy etc' is perfectly reasonable;

'He beat her up because she was....' - I genuinely feel very sorry for the women who can't understand that they (and any woman) are worth far, far more than to settle for a 'man' like that.