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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Apparently there is something wrong with me!

204 replies

Furrydog7 · 16/07/2020 20:34

I hate the house phone with a passion. I much prefer texts and emails as i can answer when it is convenient for me. However my mum thinks that there is something wrong with me as i have the house phone unplugged a lot. She doesn't understand that i don't always want my time inturupted by people talking crap about what they have had for dinner etc and the only way to convey to certain members of my family that i cannot talk is to unplug the phone.

OP posts:
OhCaptain · 17/07/2020 15:45

How would you have coped 40 years ago when there was no email or texting and you couldn't unplug your phone?

This is an odd one.

Everyone would have gotten on with it, I assume. But we don’t have to go without email and texting so why act like we do? Confused

yelyah22 · 17/07/2020 16:02

I don't know anyone who's got a house phone except my grandparents!

Drivingdownthe101 · 17/07/2020 16:04

How would you have coped 40 years ago when there was no email or texting and you couldn't unplug your phone?

I’m sure I’d have coped fine. But I prefer email and texting.
Just as I prefer using a washing machine to using a mangle.

verybritishproblems · 17/07/2020 16:16

I think people are becoming so insular these days and I'm not sure It's healthy. I say that - it's only on MN as far as I can see. I don't know anyone IRL who thinks like this.

Is it insular or is it that we have so many ways of being contacted these days, so many ways of being interrupted that it’s a way of claiming back control and some of our time?

If I want to have a chat with someone I’ll message them first to see if they are free, I won’t impose my time on them unless they’re free too. Calling out of the blue (unless calling a business) is rude imo, it’s assuming someone isn’t busy and that their time isn’t important. We don’t have a house phone, I know I’d get called by certain family members and I wouldn’t be able to get rid of them (hour phone calls anyone?!)

I think I’m this society we are bombarded with so much that’s it’s nice to turn off contact/outside world when you can.

Mobiles are worse, there’s the assumption you are ever present and ever available...Sometimes I leave my mobile switched off upstairs most Sundays and it’s bliss. It’s so easy to be sucked into the world of WhatsApp groups and other pointless things...

Also MN people ARE people IRL though... Most people I know are like this.

PerfidiousAlbion · 17/07/2020 17:25

“Also MN people ARE people IRL though... Most people I know are like this.”

Most people I know are like this too. We like privacy and choice over when we speak to people and who we speak to.

Nicolastuffedone · 17/07/2020 17:45

Have a LL with caller display. If I don’t know the number I don’t answer it, if it’s important they’ll leave a message....

SerenDippitty · 17/07/2020 17:48

We have a landline. We screen callers by letting the answerphone answer first. If they really want to talk to us they'll leave a message. And we pick up if it's someone we want to talk to.

Bloops · 17/07/2020 17:57

House phones are so old school imo! I don't even know whag my house phone number is Grin

Ginfordinner · 17/07/2020 18:04

@Bloops

House phones are so old school imo! I don't even know whag my house phone number is Grin
House phones are old school for most people, but not all. There are still parts of the UK with rubbish mobile signals, so an "old school" phone is better then no phone.

No need to be so smug Hmm

Original poster
Furrydog7 · 17/07/2020 18:09

I am sure that i would have coped with using a mangle but i would prefer to use a washing machine. There are so many ways of communicating now. It is just rude to automatically assume that people are available to talk.

OP posts:
MulticolourMophead · 17/07/2020 18:19

As an aside, I'm guessing part of it stems from a decade in the country with appalling mobile signal. The village was also prone to frequent power cuts. We ran a village post office so if the power went, the alarm company would ring and if we didn't answer the police would arrive. We even had to replace the electric portable phones kindly left by our predecessors with plug in phones. It amused me how many of our customers hadn't and were surprised when "even" their phones wouldn't work in a power cut

My cousin gave me a cordless phone for the landline. A phone that still uses electricity. I haven't used it, and bought a plug in phone for about £5.50. In the event of a power cut, I still have use of a phone.

And before people say that a mobile phone will work in a power cut, not for long. Eventually they all run out of power and need recharging.

The landline isn't used much, I've not given the number out to anyone, so I only have to field the occasional cold/scam caller. I keep it for emergencies only.

Original poster
Furrydog7 · 17/07/2020 18:22

@RedskyAtnight

Surely you just get an answerphone? So if it's not convenient for you to answer the other person can leave a message and you ring back when it is?

I think it's odd just to text and email and never want to actually talk to someone. Also, if your mum is of the same generation as mine, she's probably never really got to grips with doing either.

Certain members of my family are not content to leave a message. Basically they will persist in ringing until i answer which is why i have the phone unplugged at times as this is literally the only way that certain family members will accept that i am busy.
OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 17/07/2020 18:27

I used to do things the opposite way to most on here: I had a landline which was always on and a mobile that was only used if I was out and about (hence, mobile, innit? Hmm). I'd strongly resist giving businesses, employment agents etc my mobile because however much I stressed "ring my landline" they could not get their heads around it, and called the other phone because everyone's always on their mobile aren't they?

Eventually I bowed to the inevitable, joined the digital age and acquired a smartphone. Except that when I'm at work my mobile is locked in a cupboard, so they'd still get better results calling the landline which has voicemail. If they catch me at home it's ten to one I'm sitting next to the home phone anyway. And as I have caller display, if it looks like a scam or marketing call (or XH) they're out of luck.

Ginfordinner · 17/07/2020 18:34

I agree. If I want a conversation with someone I usually message them first. However, I have had two long telephone conversations this afternoon with two people who are housebound, and won't see 80 again. Both of them really appreciated the phone call.

Pineapplemonkey · 17/07/2020 18:37

All these people that say they don’t use their mobile due to signal issues- have you checked you don’t have WiFi calling on your phone?

My house has crap reception but for a quite a few years now my phone connects to the WiFi and boosts the reception so I get a perfect call. I don’t have to do anything (other than have the phone connected to the WiFi), it’s just in the phone settings.

Oh and I don’t have a landline other than for broadband, pretty sure in the UK it’s only Virgin media who don’t insist on one (I get some people have FTTP but I’m talking generally)

Ginfordinner · 17/07/2020 18:59

What do you mean by Wi-Fi calling?
I can use my phone for Teams calls, Skype calls, and I presume, WhatsApp calls (never tried a WhatsApp call)

I don't have an iPhone BTW.

Pineapplemonkey · 17/07/2020 19:47

@Ginfordinner I don’t think it’s an iPhone only thing (although admittedly I do have an iPhone!)
ee.co.uk/why-ee/wifi-calling

I just picked the first link, I’m with O2 so it’s definitely a feature on several networks

Zandathepanda · 17/07/2020 23:39

Oo another poster upthread who has a cheap phone that doesn’t even use electricity!!! My Dc were amazed.
I do have 3 phones plugged in so when a relative rings I can hear it. I wouldn’t hear my mobile if it’s charging and I have machines on. I need to be able to hear if my Dd is ringing and I need to get to her quickly. I know my mobile can be off/out of power/ in use and the landline phone can still ring.

GhettoDefendant · 18/07/2020 01:04

What happens if you were without electricity for days?

That's never happened in my life before, but if it were to happen in the future, I'd call anyone I needed to call before the battery died, surely? I'm not sure why a landline would help me.

Blackbear19 · 18/07/2020 02:07

@GhettoDefendant

What happens if you were without electricity for days?

That's never happened in my life before, but if it were to happen in the future, I'd call anyone I needed to call before the battery died, surely? I'm not sure why a landline would help me.

What the poster was trying to get at is a corded phone doesn't need a separate electrical supply they draw their power from the phone line. So you'd always be able to make calls.

How often does power go off for days? I can only think of one or two occasions when I've been without power for more than 12 hours.

And if I was really struggling I'd plug it into the car to charge my mobile. Which I'd you put into power saving mode can go for hours on a small charge.

LinemanForTheCounty · 18/07/2020 02:31

I actually think that constant texts and messages are more draining and require more cumulative mental attention than phone calls, especially with the greater potential for misunderstanding that there is with short bursts of text, but it seems to be the way lots of people prefer to communicate these days. I'd much rather have a conversation, then it's done and dusted and I can mentally put it to one side, rather than bits and bats coming through at random times. I dunno, maybe people have more time on their hands now and so don't mind the drawn out process.

Greydrapex · 18/07/2020 02:49

I hate mobiles so that’s usually switched off. I like the house phone because only two people ever call it and I ignore those two 😂

ACNH · 18/07/2020 02:52

You are not unreasonable to have firm boundaries on how you use your time.

Nat6999 · 18/07/2020 03:25

I don't like landlines, I even have my mobile on silent, my smartwatch gently vibrates if I get a call.

copperoliver · 18/07/2020 03:39

Older people don't always understand it they are stuck in their ways and don't always except people are different. X

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