I feel bad for the kids on free school meals

[thegasp]

Our school has sent out its plans for September.

Among them, only those children eligible for free school meals will be allowed to have school meals. Those kids will be sent to the hall for those meals.

All other children must bring in packed lunches, which must be eaten in their classes.

AIBU to feel sad about this sort of segregation? It feels like something from decades ago, when they might have sent the "poor kids" off to a different place. I'm worried about stigmatisation.

Is this standard, and going on in all schools?

That’s awful. Those children might as well go around having it written on their foreheads if that’s the case.
I know it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but still people judge. Also isn’t a breach of data protection? Instead of just the office staff knowing, every single member of staff in the school and children who understand it (eg year 6), would know which children receive free school meals. Surely that stuff is confidential and only a need to know basis.

I do think sometimes the adults make a bigger fuss about things like this than children.

Like others, when I was at school it was obvious who was on FSM because they had a slip instead of paying with money, it just didn’t matter.

It’s also obvious anyway on school trips as there’s a brown bag.

I think the best way would be for the teacher to say that if anyone claiming FSM is feeling awkward to come and chat with her and they’ll work something out. I used to do this with my y7 form when we went on trips.

IME people really, really don’t judge.

People think they do but they don’t. There are chaotic families and there are low income families, MN tend to get the two confused a lot. But the majority are in the former.

@JaniceWebster

I don't think this has anything to do with segregation, it's a number thing! They obviously cannot serve hot diners in classrooms, and if they take entire classrooms in lunch hall, they would have to stagger lunch time and use so much of the staff time, it really cannot work.

It sounds like the only sensible thing to do.

Of course it's a segregation thing! "If you're on free dinners line up at the hall door" In some schools this would be the majority of the children, so less divisive. In others, it may only be a handful. I was one of the free dinners kids in a school like this. It was mortifying every single day for 5 years! OP, whether this is a primary or secondary school doesn't matter. Please contact the school and tell them what an incredibly bad idea this is.

@bluesapphirestars

I do think sometimes the adults make a bigger fuss about things like this than children.

Like others, when I was at school it was obvious who was on FSM because they had a slip instead of paying with money, it just didn’t matter.

It’s also obvious anyway on school trips as there’s a brown bag.

I think the best way would be for the teacher to say that if anyone claiming FSM is feeling awkward to come and chat with her and they’ll work something out. I used to do this with my y7 form when we went on trips.

When my school go on trips, all the kids get a school packed lunch apart from those who normally bring their own lunch to school.

I think if possible it’s best to avoid splitting the kids up based on FSM and not. We don’t know how each individual child will feel, so may notice and not care, say may notice and feel bad about it, some may not notice at all.

And is that practical in some schools? It isn’t, is it, not to mention the fact that a lot will choose to take their own packed lunch anyway (including those on FSM.)

Also don’t get the ‘hot meal’ distinction.

Nutritionally, what’s the difference between

Fish bites and potatoes
Veg
Pudding

Tuna sandwich
Yoghurt
Fruit

Well the difference for a start, salt and sugar.
(Salty, sugary bread, additional butter fats)
Refined carbs vs simple ones. Bread vs Potato. So less fibre in the sandwich.

Unless it’s natural unsweetened yoghurt there will be more sugar there, and not much probiotics left.

The veg is infinitely better for you than the fruit.

The pudding is the only bad bit of the hot meal in that example, and I imagine they are probably trying to get fruit plus eggs in at the same time with the pudding. We used to have pineapple cake a lot etc so fruit was covered.

I know it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but still people judge.

Well deal with that directly. As RedCat implies, if kids are going to judge they will find something. It won't matter what. The problem is the judging, and the resulting bullying.

All you are doing by worrying about "the stigma" and pretending it isn't there is brushing it under the carpet. In a way you justify "the stigma" by doing so.

Benefits of hot meals in general terms are: the cooking process makes nutrients more available and easier to digest; destroys harmful microorganisms; the heat is energy delivered directly, it kickstarts the digestive system, warms you up and gives you a feel-good factor. The specific nutritional benefits (or not) would depend on the foods and quality.

I do think sometimes the adults make a bigger fuss about things like this than children.

I agree with this. 5 years of FSM for me and not one person ever said a derogatory word because the kids were mostly FSM. The only comments I ever had were “wish we could have pudding too” “that looks really nice” “Nick me some chips” “all I’ve got is cheese sandwiches again”.

After the school had a refurb we did all sit together and that only only compounded the kids who felt rubbish about having a sandwich while we had pizza and chips.

Will children really understand what having FSM means? My DSD gets FSM but if I asked her why she gets them she would have no idea. I think people assume that kids not on FSM will know why others they are receiving them and I don't think that's the case

This seems incredibly thoughtless.

Just a point for those who said all foundation phase children get free school meals - they don’t in Wales, not sure about Scotland

@Pepperwort

Benefits of hot meals in general terms are: the cooking process makes nutrients more available and easier to digest; destroys harmful microorganisms; the heat is energy delivered directly, it kickstarts the digestive system, warms you up and gives you a feel-good factor. The specific nutritional benefits (or not) would depend on the foods and quality.

Most of that is relevant to cooking foods, not hot foods .

Eg also applies to bread. No one is suggesting they have to have a raw diet.

@IamPickleRick

Well the difference for a start, salt and sugar. (Salty, sugary bread, additional butter fats) Refined carbs vs simple ones. Bread vs Potato. So less fibre in the sandwich.

Unless it’s natural unsweetened yoghurt there will be more sugar there, and not much probiotics left.

The veg is infinitely better for you than the fruit.

The pudding is the only bad bit of the hot meal in that example, and I imagine they are probably trying to get fruit plus eggs in at the same time with the pudding. We used to have pineapple cake a lot etc so fruit was covered.

I agree that’s sometimes the case (as per my example ) , but not to the extent that warrants all the frothing about ‘hot food’. Eg cheese sandwich vs macaroni cheese and so on. There is a fair smattering of pizza, burgers and chips for example.

Most people knew who were the kids on free school meals in my school and there was never any judgement. Smal l children don't think the same way we do!

The veg is infinitely better for you than the fruit.

Eh? Because of the natural sugar? Both fruit and veg contain essential vitamins and natural sugar can hardly be compared to refined sugars

Our school, along with many others I'm sure, will be delivering meals to the classrooms. Sending multiple children from different bubbles into a shared space is surely going against guidelines? Even without the unintended consequences of shining a light on who gets school dinners. And children absolutely will ask why they can't have them and other people can.

@Cam2020

Most people knew who were the kids on free school meals in my school and there was never any judgement. Smal l children don't think the same way we do!

One of the insults of choice I've heard thrown around by children in my school is to call someone "poor." Obviously this is dealt with, but it's out there.

Cam2020

An orange vs broccoli? Or courgette vs a peach? Of course the vegetables are better for you than fruit.

And potato is a slow release carb so will keep children full for longer than bread. Esp important if they aren’t eating at home.