I feel bad for the kids on free school meals

[thegasp]

Our school has sent out its plans for September.

Among them, only those children eligible for free school meals will be allowed to have school meals. Those kids will be sent to the hall for those meals.

All other children must bring in packed lunches, which must be eaten in their classes.

AIBU to feel sad about this sort of segregation? It feels like something from decades ago, when they might have sent the "poor kids" off to a different place. I'm worried about stigmatisation.

Is this standard, and going on in all schools?

For some children a school lunch is the only chance to ever eat a hot meal.

If they get a packed lunch in the classroom everyone will still be able to see that they're "different" and that they get school meals.

In my school the children on FSM didn't even know they were. There was no way or need for them to know. Unless parents told them of course. This is a primary also so possibly less awareness of the concept.

It's difficult in schools that have gone cash free and use the biometric fingerprints.
Ours is staggering lunch times and only school pack lunches are being made for those on FSM and a few spare for those that forget to bring their own in. Like most things schools are damned if they do and damned if they don't. A large number of ours are FSM so it's not quite as awful as if you were the only one but I don't like it being obvious it makes the kids understandably self conscience.

Thing is what works for one school won’t work for another. They know their percentages of children on fsm and those not and what they need to do to keep to the guidelines. It might not be what makes everyone happy but it could be the only option.

That's awful. Are they going to make them wear sack cloth, and paint a big red cross on their forehead too?

We have a very simplified menu - sandwiches, hot dogs, pizza, with some fruit and a yoghurt or sometimes a biscuit. ANYONE can have a school dinner. Some are free, some are paid. Lunches will be dropped off, individually bagged, to the classrooms.

I was free school dinners, we had to go to a special table to check in.

Most of my mates were as well, it was totally fine. I never saw any of the packed lunch kids as they ate before us because of queueing etc and I didn’t mind. Sometimes have friends you only see for lunch and it mixes it up. I certainly never felt a stigma, everyone was jealous that we didn’t have to pay!

Ours did school packed lunches for all. This is not really ok.

Our junior school is only doing packed lunches, children either bring them, pay for the school to provide or school provides free. So at least all kids have the same and no one knows if the school packed lunch was free or paid for.

Agree it isn't ideal as it would be nice for children to have a hot meal, but actually I think this is preferable as lots of families would rather go without the free food than have their child feel humiliated.

Our school are getting all the kids to eat in their classrooms to keep them in their bubbles. “Hot packed lunches” will be brought to the classrooms.

Are they going to make them wear sack cloth, and paint a big red cross on their forehead too

you really need to get over yourself.

I felt uncomfortable volunteering to take people free school meals over lockdown. I felt like the mum in Little Women helping the poor. Utter cringe. Don’t know what the answer is though

I'm not sure that children will make a connection unless parents tell them that's what's happening. I remember in year 5 it was my job to collect the dinner money. I knew when collecting that also A, and B were on the list, they didn't hand money in weekly. I didn't really give much thought to it. Looking back I can see that they were on free school meals, but at the time I knew I normally said "17 for dinner, I have money for 15, when giving the money to the bursar."

And surely it's important those children get a hot meal. Hopefully if they're only doing it for 7, they'll make it a good one.

I can't believe people want to deprive children of their only hot meal in a day.

Years ago when I was at secondary school the children who got free school meals were given a token each day to the value of a main meal and dessert. Many of them would sell the token to others for the price of a portion of chips from the local chippy. I would quite often buy a token from a friend as it meant I could have my usual meal, and pocket the rest of my lunch money. No one gave a shiny s**t, who had a token, and therefore fsm.

@MsTSwift

I found your post pretty cringe tbh

Segregation like this (though not as bad - we just had an FSM table amoung all the other tables in the dining hall) is why my brother and I refused FSM when we were kids. My mum was annoyed about it (probably more than annoyed, but annoyed was all we saw) but sent us in with packed lunches instead, which I realise now must have meant we )or, more Isley, she) went without something else that was needed.

I'm not sure that children will make a connection unless parents tell them that's what's happening.

Normally they wouldn't. But if they ask for school meals ,especially on the days they really like it and are told no you can't they'll question why. They'll question why x and y and z are still having one etc.

Of course some parents could work around it or lie and give other reasons, but the majority will probably just say the truth,especially if they're being nagged.

Why? Kids getting free school meals get free meals. Everyone else has to pay for a packed lunch. I feel sorry for the kids whose parents have to pay and make up a packed lunch.

@SlipperSwan

I can't believe people want to deprive children of their only hot meal in a day.

Yes, that is a good point and this is probably more important. This blooming virus is affecting everything.

I felt uncomfortable volunteering to take people free school meals over lockdown. I felt like the mum in Little Women helping the poor. Utter cringe.

Oh get over yourself. It's your post that is cringe. And never volunteer at a food bank.

It’s not good. There will be other kids who get their only hot meal at school too. I would offer them some feedback and see what they say.

@mothertruck3r

Why? Kids getting free school meals get free meals. Everyone else has to pay for a packed lunch. I feel sorry for the kids whose parents have to pay and make up a packed lunch.

I think you maybe don't understand why the older children get free meals?

It depends on the demographic of the school. If its half the class going for meals in the hall it's not too bad. If its 2 or 3 kids being singled out, they need to change it.
It would really not be that difficult to provide packed lunches they can eat at their desks - it's what they do for school trips.

My school is definitely not doing this. They are changing the way the meals are ordered though.

Idk my kids would be a bit jealous as they love school dinners

Pay up then?