Aibu to think that no man would be interested in this situation?

[shellsontheshore]

I am a divorced mother of three. My children are early to late teens, one of them is more dependent that the norm but relatively independent still.
I am in mid forties. I would really enjoy a situation where I could
Enjoy the company of someone special a couple of times per month, to see films, eat out, theatre etc but I would
Like this to be sexual and exclusive too. Preferably a man with children.
I would not like to get married again or
Live with someone at least until
My children have left home and started their own lives. I would like to travel
And have holidays with someone special though.
My ex has children eow and a few weeks holidays per year aswell as a couple of evenings per week when they are not busy with sport.
Any thoughts on this? Am I asking for too much? Could it work?

I think a lot of men would be interested in that situation to be honest and it's the best move when you have teenagers, you don't need a man coming in trying to be dad at that age really

That is exactly what many divorcees are interested in. Exactly what I want and I'm getting divorced. No desire whatsoever to live in the same house as a partner, just want to have fun.

Gosh no! I agree. They have a Dad and
Certainly do not need another.
I know that blended families can work really well but that's not for me and my children have been through the mill
With their father leaving overnight for an OW.

Don't count yourself out, OP. Have a confident mindset and good luck.

@shellsontheshore I'd imagine there's a fair few 40-something divorcees etc out there who probably have kids/teens who would just like the social aspect while their kids are still dependant too. It's all the fun parts of a relationship really. Best of luck with it

This is the ideal surely?

You have kids, he has kids, you get together as and when you can for fun/sex/company, exclusively, then things only get more intense when you are both done with parenting.

Sounds perfect! I'd imagine good dads would want this.

Thanks.
I'm flad to hear that it may be an option in the future . Was worried it might be seen as a FWB thing but I guess it is like a teenage thing!

I think as long as you're really clear and honest like you have been here then you'll find men are interested. Lots of people are leading busy lives and might also like having a relationship without that pressure to commit/get serious.

Hope you find what you're looking for!

I guess I love the idea of that but worried that one part of the couple might get too invested or let down.
It certainly is my ideal but thought it might be deluded !

It's just not living together really rather than a FWB thing

It's great to get such positive feedback. I worried I was a bit odd!

Sounds exactly like the set up one of my siblings has. I think lots of people are looking for this sort of a situation now, especially through online dating more than are interested in a 36 year old never married childless woman who would like to marry and have children like me

Honestly, I think you will be fine. Go for it!

I'd almost prefer this to cohabiting with my husband!

(not enjoying this involuntary coworkers situation!)

I don’t see why anyone wouldn’t want that unless they were looking to have children and/or cocklodge.

It sounds like a fantastic option, all of the fun bits with none of the drudgery!

Obviously you wouldn't, but if you were to post this as an advert, you'd get a lot of applicants!

It's what my brother and his new partner are doing/planning to continue doing, separate houses and just seeing each other as and when suits. Neither is looking for/wanting more, they're happy, kids are happy, all good so yes, I think lots of men would be attracted to this kind of set-up

I have one! I got divorced last year. Met a new guy. No intention on either side to move in together. We have plans this weekend as my DD is with her Dad. We also do dinner / drinks once or twice a week when DD is at her Dads. Been together a year. He’s met DD once or twice but no more serious plans to blend. We are exclusive.

This is exactly the set up I have with my bf and I love it!

We have been together almost a year. I have early teenage children who see their dad EOW and 1-2 nights in the week and he has older children but likes his own space. We live an hour's drive from each other.

We are exclusive, and have been from the start and I love him very much but right now I need time with my kids and they are my priority (exh also had an affair).

I think as long as you're honest about what you want, a lot of me n of a similar age and situation will bite your hand off!

Sure loads of people are looking for that!

I started of thinking it is what I wanted by the way, and ended up falling head over heels and finding the love of my life. After a few years, he has now moved in (which I never thought I would ever want again). It is the best relationship of my life. And my dd loves him to bits (calls him daddy no 2)..,,,

So the options are all open, OP! There will definitely be people looking for what you currently want. And what you want might change in time too. 🙂

My mum has this sort of arrangement with her partner. Works very well for them.

I'm so happy to read all of this.
It gives me hope for the future.

This is exactly what I wanted but I was pushed into something else and it made me very unhappy for a long time.

Go for it but don't feel obliged to get pushed into living with someone when you don't want to for fear of losing the man you're enjoying time with.

That sounds like my ideal, although I'm 28 and DD is 3. I've got no interest in cohabitation or marriage and I don't want more children.

Thanks. Wondering how to find the right man now! On line dating?

That’s exactly what I have, so good luck on your quest. Dip your toe with online but be prepared for a lot of twats and don’t get too invested too early.
I’ve done the online thing but actually met my guy on a night out. In the same position as myself and happy with this set up for the foreseeable future