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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To lie about his age for free admission?

592 replies

WaitForCake · 16/07/2020 10:29

It's DS's 3rd birthday in a couple of weeks. I'm taking him to an attraction.

It's free for under 3s, but adult price at 3 upwards. Money is tight, but after a tough few months between lockdown and his DF moving out after our split, I want to do something nice for him.
As there is no inherent difference in what he'll get from the experience the day before his birthday and on the day of his birthday, WIBU to just buy him a 2 year old ticket?

I can't take him the day earlier due to work (I did consider this already).

YANBU - get the 2 year old ticket
YABU - pay the adult price for him

OP posts:
excuseforfights · 16/07/2020 11:49

Your children were told from birth about Father Christmas being a lie then

Nail.on.head.

Father Christmas is a big ass lie.

Sceptre86 · 16/07/2020 11:49

Sounds like your son and mine have their birthdays around the same time. We are taking him out on his birthday and his ticket would be free if we went before his birthday. I left it up to my dh who was doing the booking and he paid for the ticket. It is dishonest not to in my opinion, just because loads of other people do it doesn't make it right. I agree with a previous poster who said lying about little things leads on to it being easier to lying about bigger things. We are taking packed lunches to reduce costs that way our two can get one piece of tat each from the gift shop unless I manage to steer clear of the gift shop for the duration of the visit.

Hope he has a lovely birthday regardless!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 16/07/2020 11:49

YANBU. There is such a small window to enjoy these discounts.

Three years - from birth to age 3 - is quite a big window that they allow you. A discount is something that a business/provider offers you, or actively agree to give you if you ask for it. Obtaining goods or services by deceit is theft, not a discount. We've all heard the jocular term 'five finger discount' when it comes to shoplifting, but we all know what it really means.

AryaStarkWolf · 16/07/2020 11:51

I don't see how this is a loss to anyone, to be honest.

Only to your son who you are starting down the road to becoming a criminal mastermind!!! Wink

Is it, though?

Yes, yes it is. Still bullshit.

gamerchick · 16/07/2020 11:51

The question is, will you be able to say he's under 3 without him hearing?

My 3 yr old self would have been quite loudly indignant if I overheard that. Grin

RosieCockle · 16/07/2020 11:51

What's the cost of an adult ticket?

excuseforfights · 16/07/2020 11:52

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

I meant more generally.

I think if attractions really give a shit they would require proof of age. Otherwise there is tacit tolerance for a certain amount of leeway.

Standardy · 16/07/2020 11:52

Definitely, he will only have been 3 for a few hours, and you'll be paying full price.

Wolfff · 16/07/2020 11:54

I used to work in a tourist attraction where people with kids that were obviously 7 or 8 said they were under 5 to get free tickets.

Unfortunately part of the attraction was for 5 years and older only which led to all sorts of excruciating attempts to cover their earlier lies. It was hilarious.

Frankly if an attraction has that age limit, I would assume that this is because some parts of it are unsuitable for under 3s and you run the risk of having to show the ticket for entry to those parts.

sqirrelfriends · 16/07/2020 11:54

I was tempted to do this after my sons second birthday but lost my nerve. I wouldn't judge anyone else for doing it though.

dementedpixie · 16/07/2020 11:54

Just go, say he's 2, enjoy yourselves

Lockheart · 16/07/2020 11:55

I'm not going to call you a thief or tell you your child will grow up to be a criminal (hyperbole much), but I do think it's dishonest.

The fact that everyone does it doesn't make it any less dishonest.

Ohtherewearethen · 16/07/2020 11:55

@dontdisturbmenow - I'm not sure you have the authority to ban people from posting on here or deciding what they can or can't post about

UnicornAndSparkles · 16/07/2020 11:56

I have this issue coming up, we are going the day before to avoid the issue. We all know its wrong, but for me I'd feel guilty at lying about DDs age as it obviously have repercussions for the business.

99victoria · 16/07/2020 11:56

We did this on my grand-daughter's 4th birthday. We were looking after her for the day and she had asked to go to a particular place that was free for under 4s, so we decided we weren't going to pay for her.

As it turned out we weren't challenged at all but I had my argument ready just in case - it was 11am and she was born at 9pm so strictly speaking she was still 3 when we went in!

SpinningLikeATop · 16/07/2020 11:57

Your children were told from birth about Father Christmas being a lie then

Telling the tale of Father Christmas doesn't give you a financial advantage, though. Almost the opposite as you now have to buy his presents.

Gogogadgetarms · 16/07/2020 11:59

I wouldn’t. What if they ask you on the gate? Are you going to lie in front of him? I’d go somewhere that was legitimately free for him or pay.
I do think it’s stealing otherwise. Plus what if he wants to tell everyone he sees it’s his birthday? Are you going to have to shush him at the entrance? How confusing would that be for him?

Queenest · 16/07/2020 12:00

Just go and enjoy yourself. Honestly most people would do the same. You have years and years of paying full price ahead of you.
Distract him with a toy as you’re going through the gate and hopefully he won’t start chatting about his age. Can you pre book?

xolotltezcatlopoca · 16/07/2020 12:00

This actually happened with my nephew when I took him somewhere with my Dsis. He was actually the under age, but looked a lot older, so someone asked how old he was to him, and he answered. We were sure they are thinking we were lying, so asked my nephew.

I wouldn't do it. But it's up to you.

Original poster
WaitForCake · 16/07/2020 12:01

@UnicornAndSparkles

I have this issue coming up, we are going the day before to avoid the issue. We all know its wrong, but for me I'd feel guilty at lying about DDs age as it obviously have repercussions for the business.
I can't get my head around why it has repercussions for the business? You choosing to go the day before has the exact same repercussions for the business as not paying the first price the following day.

If anything, if I could take him on the weekend before instead - I'd be paying for only one ticket while having two spaces taken on a much busier day.

Taking him on a quieter week day and still only paying for one adult ticket means they are still getting some revenue for the day.

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 16/07/2020 12:02

On my son's fifth birthday we took him on a train to London. Five is when you have to pay for the kids. We told the ticket man he was five today. He gave him a free ticket as a birthday gift.

SleepingStandingUp · 16/07/2020 12:04

I just think its wrong; all these places have been closed for months. Many will be really struggling. To steal from them isnt right. So arguably it's better op goes and pays one ticket then stays home and They don't sell one ticket plus all the additional spends

If they allow him in for free when he should have paid, then they potentially have to deny access to another paying customer later on. So they wont end up with the same amount of money. If she takes him when he is still allowed a free ticket, then the business wont have to lose out on a paid ticket when denying someone entry as OP is still entitled to the free ticket. If I'm takes him Monday whilst he's 2, they may turn down two full paying adults but inTraday when he 3 sell less tickets I not turn anyone away. You possibly guess what's the best financial deal for the company y unless they're to capacity each day.

Ime they don't ask the kids their ages

TheStuffedPenguin · 16/07/2020 12:05

Judging by WHEN he was born - you are desperate to convince yourself , aren't you ? How much @WaitForCake for the ticket ?

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 16/07/2020 12:05

prices for these things can be really high and I totally get why you're considering it. So I think you should go with your gut instinct of what feels comfortable and acceptable for you.

Does that apply to Harrods and F&M as well?

Your children were told from birth about Father Christmas being a lie then hmm

Seeing as you bring it up, we personally didn't use the word 'lie', but as soon as our DS became aware of the concept, we told him that FC was a story, a character, like Peppa Pig; but that a lot of people truly believe in him as part of their family culture/belief system, and they're entirely free to do so, so that we fully respect that. It might not seem a problem when you have an excited 3yo waiting for Santa, but it's when they're 6, 7, 8 and they start doubting and looking you for confirmation that he is definitely real and you keep on insisting to 'keep the 'magic' alive'.

FantasyPanda · 16/07/2020 12:06

All of the posters who argue YABU must be absolute saints, and must never have told a single lie in all their entire life. Santa, the tooth fairy, and the Easter bunny mustn't exist in their perfect little world.
I would just go for it OP, it's for his birthday and he will have a great time!