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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To lie about his age for free admission?

592 replies

WaitForCake · 16/07/2020 10:29

It's DS's 3rd birthday in a couple of weeks. I'm taking him to an attraction.

It's free for under 3s, but adult price at 3 upwards. Money is tight, but after a tough few months between lockdown and his DF moving out after our split, I want to do something nice for him.
As there is no inherent difference in what he'll get from the experience the day before his birthday and on the day of his birthday, WIBU to just buy him a 2 year old ticket?

I can't take him the day earlier due to work (I did consider this already).

YANBU - get the 2 year old ticket
YABU - pay the adult price for him

OP posts:
Theyweretheworstoftimes · 16/07/2020 11:37

Just go the day before he turns 3.

He is still 2. He would get in free.

Temp123999 · 16/07/2020 11:37

@dontdisturbmenow
How an earth do you walk with that huge stick up your arse?
@OP
I bet posters judging you are the ones who "accidentally* slip things in at self checkouts

WaitForCake · 16/07/2020 11:38

@BiggerBoat1

Why did you ask *@WaitForCake*?

You're clearly going to do it anyway.

I was curious to see what others thought. If it was the case that the majority said it was unreasonable then I might have reconsidered.

I don't see how this is a loss to anyone, to be honest. DS gets a lovely day out. The attraction still gets revenue for one ticket; they won't get any if I have to pay for two adult tickets. Who does lose out in this circumstance?

OP posts:
dontdisturbmenow · 16/07/2020 11:39

*If all of you 'you're a criminal' sayers are so black and white then read the bit where OP says he won't actually turn 3 until he leaves the park"
It doesn't matter. The rules are the rules, it's on the day and she'll be lying to get him in.

All of you advocating a lie for a free ride, don't ever come posting when someone lies to you to suit them. A package you sent they claim they haven't received, the cashier lying they gave you change on £10 when you said you handed them £20. Your neighbour telling you that it wasn't them breaking your fence when you saw them leaning on it.

If you think lying is ok then don't come moaning when others like to you except I bet for most, it's a case of terrible double standards.

DressingGownofDoom · 16/07/2020 11:39

YANBU.

This reminds me of when I took my son to softplay as a baby, he was big for his age and a late walker. The price was split into something like £2 for babies who aren't walking yet and £4 for toddlers. Obviously I said he's not walking, paid my £2 and he decided in the soft play to take his first steps Blush toddled his little way all round the soft play Shock

OfTheNight · 16/07/2020 11:39

YANBU.

This is such an uncharitable attitude Yes, it's much more important for a precious 3 year old to have "a special treat" than for the parents to be honest.

To me, my son IS the most precious thing in the world. I would do pretty much anything for him to be happy. I’m sure you feel the same OP.

Go and have a lovely day.

retractionOfaffection · 16/07/2020 11:40

What time of day was he born ?
Will he actually be 3 exactly at the time of admission .....

MusicWithRocksIn1t · 16/07/2020 11:41

I once claimed my kids were twins (2year age gap but they are about the same size) so I could get them both in as under 3 Grin just do it and stop worrying!
If your child was born at 11.59pm it would technically be their birthday yet they would be under 3.
You are really over thinking this

Hanrora06 · 16/07/2020 11:42

An adult price for a 3 year old??? WTF. Nah YANBU at all. I would also (after you've been) send an email and be like your pricing system is bizarre and you will lose business if you continue it. Don't tell them you rorted the system obviously but yeah they should get the feedback.

WaitForCake · 16/07/2020 11:42

@retractionOfaffection

What time of day was he born ? Will he actually be 3 exactly at the time of admission .....
No. He was born after 4pm. We will be leaving again around 3pm.
OP posts:
Witchend · 16/07/2020 11:42

Take him the day before his birthday. He'll enjoy it as much.

Ps If it's Legoland then there is the mini driver's ride that is 3+ and I have known them ask to see the admissions ticket and refuse admission to the ride on that basis.

saraclara · 16/07/2020 11:43

Jeeze, I thought I had a pretty strong moral compass, but I wouldn't think twice about getting the free admission actually ON my child's birthday! Especially when it means the difference between going at all, or not.

excuseforfights · 16/07/2020 11:44

YANBU. There is such a small window to enjoy these discounts. I wouldn't sweat it.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 16/07/2020 11:44

You lie about the little things and it becomes easier to lie about the big things.

Bullshit

Is it, though? He's only one day over the threshold, so that's nothing. What if something comes up and they have to postpone it for a week, or two, or a month....? What if he has a whale of a time, wants to go back for his 4th birthday and you ask yourself why you should be expected to pay all of a sudden when nobody quibbled it last year? If you disregard the clear rules that have been set, how do you set new rules that you find an acceptable bending of the given ones, but no further than that? Or do you just push and push with what you can get away with until you're stopped/shamed/arrested?

It's not a simple case of little thing vs big thing. It can build up gradually. Once you've broken the small rules/laws, it's easier to break the very slightly bigger laws, and then the medium ones.... Their age limits aren't just something they vaguely advise, they're their own actual contract of business. It's the same principle as the prices they would set for their cafe - if it's self-service and you put most of your food on the tray for the cashier to see and charge for, but you take an extra sandwich and shove that in your handbag - is that OK? What if your child desperately wants something in the gift shop, but you don't think it's worth the £10 price tag (or you can't afford it)? You would have paid £6, but because they are so 'inflexible' and that isn't possible, do you just slip it into your pocket - or tell your child to do so?

Once you reject the official rules/laws and get away with it, it's the easiest thing in the world to push it further, little by little, and tell yourself that you're only pushing it one little step on from the last thing you got away with rather than comparing it with the original clear benchmark and looking how far you've come/fallen.

Also, regardless of the business you're stealing from, it's a terrible lesson to teach your children. When you're very little but now able to talk and rationalise simple facts, how old you are becomes a very important part of your identity. Telling a child to lie about it, or gainsaying them loudly with a lie when they proudly state the truth, is not a lesson I'd want to teach my child. Apart from bashing away at their fragile little confidence and self-esteem as they're only just developing it, once they know that it's acceptable to lie, you know exactly whom they're going to be lying to next....

Scoobyscoobedydoo · 16/07/2020 11:45

@dontdisturbmenow

*If all of you 'you're a criminal' sayers are so black and white then read the bit where OP says he won't actually turn 3 until he leaves the park" It doesn't matter. The rules are the rules, it's on the day and she'll be lying to get him in.

All of you advocating a lie for a free ride, don't ever come posting when someone lies to you to suit them. A package you sent they claim they haven't received, the cashier lying they gave you change on £10 when you said you handed them £20. Your neighbour telling you that it wasn't them breaking your fence when you saw them leaning on it.

If you think lying is ok then don't come moaning when others like to you except I bet for most, it's a case of terrible double standards.

Your children were told from birth about Father Christmas being a lie then Hmm
DishingOutDone · 16/07/2020 11:45

I did successfully do this several times when my DDs were young - successfully I might add, until eldest was, say, 4 and then if I said to her "please say you are 3 (or whatever) if anyone asks" and she was outraged and refused to be part of this fraud. She's still like it 14+years later!

BlackRibboner · 16/07/2020 11:45

I wouldn't lie, because it feels wrong. And I don't think other people should either - but prices for these things can be really high and I totally get why you're considering it. So I think you should go with your gut instinct of what feels comfortable and acceptable for you. But if that involves asking your son to lie, you'll have to think about how to explain why that's ok this time but not in other situations.

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 16/07/2020 11:45

If your DS was born in the afternoon (say 3.52pm just for arguments sake) then he's still 2 until that afternoon if people want to be technical about it.
He will be a few hours less than having been on this planet for bang on 3 years (17,520 hrs to be exact)

So if you are going in the morning & will be leaving before the time he was born then he is still 2.
So you are not being fraudulent if we want to be exact or pedantic about it.

But anyway in my opinion regardless of what time he was born 3 & over starts the day after. So if you are visiting on the day (he will turn 3) then he goes free.
If you go the day after or after the time he turns 3 then you pay.

ineedaholidaynow · 16/07/2020 11:46

Why is theft from a service seen differently than theft from a shop? I am assuming most people saying they have done this haven’t stolen food or clothes from shops? Do you go into Next and get annoyed that the clothes for a 5 year old are more expensive than those for a 4 year old and so just steal them as it’s not fair!

Ohtherewearethen · 16/07/2020 11:46

This is hilarious! All these posters getting their knickers in a twist about it! Comparing it to benefit fraud and stealing from Tesco, utterly ridiculous. The child turns three that very day. He's going to have the same experience he would have had the day before. How specific do we need to be here? Are we counting the extra day in February for the leap year? In that case he is will technically have been alive for three years the day before his birthday.
For the record, I haven't done this as haven't needed to yet. I do things I can afford, I live within my means and budget accordingly! I just don't judge people that do do it. If these businesses want to make sure nobody does this that's up to them. There's a huge difference between a three year old's experience and an adult's experience. To go from free to adult price is a big jump. A cheaper, child's price might even encourage fewer people to do this and more people to go.

BobbieDraper · 16/07/2020 11:46

@WaitForCake

As I said, most attractions are limiting numbers at the moment. So if you take a free ticket, they may need to deny entry to someone who would have had to paid = loss of business.

Or they may need to deny entry to someone with a younger child who is actually entitled to the free ticket.

Again, if you're going to do it then do it but be honest about the impact on the business and be honest about the fact it is stealing. Dont lie to yourself to try and make yourself think it's ok. It is stealing. You're taking someone without paying for it. Theft.

Do it, but be honest with yourself that you're steaming because you want your son to have something you cant afford.

If you dint agree with the business charging for 3 years olds then dont use the service. Not agreeing with their terms and conditions doesnt give you the right to ignore them. If you do, it is theft.

Steal a day out, have fun, dont lie to yourself about it.

I've just booked to go to the zoo. Needed to book 2 weeks in advance due to limited numbers. My youngest is just on the wrong side of free. I paid.

winetime89 · 16/07/2020 11:47

Do it! I used to do this all the time.

IncrediblySadToo · 16/07/2020 11:47

Paying an adult price is madness.

He's a few hours over 3, he's YEARS off being an adult 🙄

saraclara · 16/07/2020 11:47

To those simultaneously saying a) take him the day before and b) it's unfair to deprive the attraction of its income, you do get that the attraction will get the same amount of money on the day as on the day before, right?

Logic seems to be a rare attribute on MN these days.

sothebellsring · 16/07/2020 11:48

YANBU. You'll be paying the whole price for the rest of his life. Loads of people do this. I regretted not doing it a few times, the cashiers never seem too bothered anyway.

It's not like you can get away with it forever and I'm sure right now they'd rather have the custom than not. Don't even think about it anymore, go and have a lovely day with your son.