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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To lie about his age for free admission?

592 replies

WaitForCake · 16/07/2020 10:29

It's DS's 3rd birthday in a couple of weeks. I'm taking him to an attraction.

It's free for under 3s, but adult price at 3 upwards. Money is tight, but after a tough few months between lockdown and his DF moving out after our split, I want to do something nice for him.
As there is no inherent difference in what he'll get from the experience the day before his birthday and on the day of his birthday, WIBU to just buy him a 2 year old ticket?

I can't take him the day earlier due to work (I did consider this already).

YANBU - get the 2 year old ticket
YABU - pay the adult price for him

OP posts:
ThePlantsitter · 16/07/2020 11:01

No, businesses fail because they have made a mistake adding things up somewhere along the line (barring unpredictable events). One thing about capitalism is that it categorically isn't the customer's moral duty to ensure businesses don't fail. It may be merciless, but that's the beast I'm afraid.

AryaStarkWolf · 16/07/2020 11:01

omg this place is crazy Grin

You lie about the little things and it becomes easier to lie about the big things.

Bullshit

SpinningLikeATop · 16/07/2020 11:02

@Ohtherewearethen

Nearly everybody does this and I personally don't judge them. Many of these places are not affordable to many families and as for stealing, well it could be said that the prices they charge for refreshments and tat in the gift shop (which you have to walk through to leave) are daylight robbery! If a family of four goes and pays for three of them that's more money than if they didn't go at all because it was too expensive
If it's not affordable then don't go? Teach your children to live within their means. And the gift shop and refreshments are not mandatory, no matter how much the children ask. Take a packed lunch and don't buy drinks.
Original poster
WaitForCake · 16/07/2020 11:02

@BadTimesAtTheElRoyale

What time was he born? If he was born after the time you go in he technically will still be 2 ;)
You raise a good point. He's not technically 3 until the afternoon and we would go in the morning. We would have actually left before he 'really' turns 3.

So if we are talking technicalities between the 24 hours, then that technicality seems reasonable too.

OP posts:
lanthanum · 16/07/2020 11:02

I once tried cheeking the person on the gate with "she's not 3 for another hour yet", and they said no.
The year she was 5, we were on holiday across her birthday, and we chose which things to do in the first part of the week by how big the price difference was.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 16/07/2020 11:02

Could you go the day before his is birthday and your conscience would be free? I don’t think you are being unreasonable. I find it annoying when my 12 year is charged as an adult...

SpinningLikeATop · 16/07/2020 11:02

Can I ask if any of you would pre-weigh your fruit in a supermarket, print a price label and then add more fruit to the bag? Because that's pretty much the same level of dishonesty.

BiggerBoat1 · 16/07/2020 11:02

@Ohtherewearethen

Nearly everybody does this and I personally don't judge them. Many of these places are not affordable to many families and as for stealing, well it could be said that the prices they charge for refreshments and tat in the gift shop (which you have to walk through to leave) are daylight robbery! If a family of four goes and pays for three of them that's more money than if they didn't go at all because it was too expensive
If you don't want to pay for refreshments take your own. If you don't want to but anything in the giftshop then don't. It is hardly robbery when they very clearly show their prices and it is your choice whether to pay them or not. What a stupid argument to ease your conscience about stealing from them.
MagnoliaJustice · 16/07/2020 11:02

I wouldn't have a guilty conscience about this. Hope you and your family have a fabulous day.

Soon2BeMumof3 · 16/07/2020 11:02

YABU

It's dishonest and it's theft.

I can't believe all the people saying it's fine. What other unethical crap do you pull in front of your children?

It's an opportunity to teach your son good values. That doing the right thing and telling the truth is more important than a few saved pounds.

I'm shocked that people don't want to set a better example for their children than this.

Soon2BeMumof3 · 16/07/2020 11:03

YABU

It's dishonest and it's theft.

I can't believe all the people saying it's fine. What other unethical crap do you pull in front of your children?

It's an opportunity to teach your son good values. That doing the right thing and telling the truth is more important than a few saved pounds.

I'm shocked that people don't want to set a better example for their children than this.

BiggerBoat1 · 16/07/2020 11:04

@SpinningLikeATop

Can I ask if any of you would pre-weigh your fruit in a supermarket, print a price label and then add more fruit to the bag? Because that's pretty much the same level of dishonesty.
Who does that?

I am genuinely shocked at this thread.

BobbieDraper · 16/07/2020 11:04

@Ohtherewearethen

But no one is forcing anyone to buy anything from the gift shop and you can take your own food with you. You cant just steal something because you've been priced out.

Here is a physical item example. Racks if lamb are £15-20 each. I need 2 to feed my family. I buy 2 because we like them and can afford it. If someone cant afford it, they could buy lamb leg steaks instead. They still get lamb; they just do it cheaper. They dont have the right to steal the racks of lamb just because they cant afford.

You cut your cloth to what you can afford and you dont justify theft by saying "well I cant afford it otherwise".

This is theft. Stop trying to slice it so it isnt. It is. Do what you want but at least be honest with yourself in the process, since you cant be honest to other people.

BarbaraofSeville · 16/07/2020 11:04

Friend of mine did this sort of thing, aided by the fact that her DD was small for her age.

She stopped doing it when the 6 YO DD ran up to the front of the bus and shouted the number and destination to her. As she got on the bus and asked for an adult with a free under 5 the bus driver gave her a knowing look and said 'she reads really well for a 4 YO'. Grin

Knowhowufeel2 · 16/07/2020 11:05

Most of these places charge ridiculous amounts to get in, so I would go for the under 3 ticket and save yourself some money if it's a choice between that and being unable to afford to go.

We rarely went to such places as we couldn't justify paying their prices for just one day out.

Have a lovely day. 🙂

Original poster
WaitForCake · 16/07/2020 11:06

It's an opportunity to teach your son good values. That doing the right thing and telling the truth is more important than a few saved pounds.

He will have literally just turned 3 and the tickets are booked online so he won't have a clue - he's going to take nothing about morals from this whatever I decide.

For him, it's a difference of we go, or we don't.

OP posts:
WhatATimeToBeAlive · 16/07/2020 11:07

YABVU. It's dishonest and attractions need all the help they can get at the moment. Imagine if every parent tried this scam? Just pay up.

KeepingPlain · 16/07/2020 11:07

I find MN ridiculous - someone claims benefits fraudulently and apparently that's OK and people should keep out of it. Yet this is always judged as being out of order.

That's because most saying that are probably doing the same thing, hence why they think people should ignore it.

It's weird that a 3 year old is classed as an adult for this, the ages are getting quite bad. If they want to charge, surely half price of adult would be better?

Problem you've got is the child is likely to rat you out, so you'll probably be caught lying. Grin

TheKrakening3 · 16/07/2020 11:07

@WaitForCake

It's an opportunity to teach your son good values. That doing the right thing and telling the truth is more important than a few saved pounds.

He will have literally just turned 3 and the tickets are booked online so he won't have a clue - he's going to take nothing about morals from this whatever I decide.

For him, it's a difference of we go, or we don't.

Then go before he turns 3 or don’t go.
Bishybarnybee · 16/07/2020 11:08

My worry is that you teach your child to lie when it suits them. Don't be surprised if they then justify lying to you when they are older.

Also, it puts stress on your 3 year old. I see kids whose parents tell them to lie to the school about being ill when they really went on holiday. It puts the child in a terrible position and puts pressure on them.

Also, part of you will feel stressed and guilty and worried about being found out. It will undermine your own pleasure in the day.

Much better to know that you have done the right thing and not have that little niggle at the back your mind.

TreestumpsAndTrampolines · 16/07/2020 11:09

Well, if people are going to be rules jockeys, what time was he born OP? If it was an afternoon birth you're good to go until then :)

If he yells he's 3 now, you just say it's his birthday trip, and he's 3 next week. If anyone would care that is. It's not like a 3 year old has a driving license to prove his age anyhow.

ExclamationPerfume · 16/07/2020 11:09

Depending on who serves you they might let you in for the under 3 admission. I had this at Drayton Manor and Cadbury World. The staff actually told me I was mistaken by the child's age and they were younger. I wasn't going to argue with them.

Bluntness100 · 16/07/2020 11:09

I think the issue here is if he is asked my a member of staff how old he is, is he likely to answer with three, and argue with you that he’s not two. Because you do have a decent chance that a member of staff will ask him his age.

Fanthorpe · 16/07/2020 11:09

It’s one thing to lie to the business, but it’s a totally different thing to lie to your child. If it’s his birthday why deny him the pleasure of it if he chooses to tell people? it will matter to him.
Can’t you find another way to save some money?

fiorentina · 16/07/2020 11:10

It is a tricky one and I’m on the fence. Accepting so many peoples financial situations are tricky at the moments in the same way all day attractions will be suffering from lack of revenue and ultimately if they don’t make money may close.