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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be scared of husband when he drinks?

63 replies

Marzipanface · 16/07/2020 03:03

My husband of 20 years has a funny relationship with alcohol. He spent the first 12 years of our relationship completely teetotal. He started drinking the odd beer now and again after our first child. He has this pattern where he doesn’t drink for months on end then he’ll start having a few beers on a Friday eve, then it becomes 3/4 of an evening all over the weekend, then he starts buying crates of beer and suddenly it’s one or two every night, then the usual pattern is he will get completely pissed and be a colossal fuckwit towards me - then he gives it up again.

About five times in the whole of our relationship, he has got completely off his face and behaved appallingly. Saying unpleasant stuff to me, shouting and swearing, and at one point exhibiting self-harm. I managed to shield the kids from those episodes. Most of the time they were asleep as it happened at night.

He is unreasonable, irrational, makes no sense and is unable to co-parent effectively after drinking. I’ve started to get quite twitchy and anxious when I see he has bought a crate of beer.

Tonight he started complimenting me more than normal and getting very soppy with all of us. Telling me not to worry about stuff (minor finance issues) and generally reassuring me and being lovely. The problem is that when he becomes really emotional, it usually means he has been drinking in his office, and that a few hours later he will potentially become argumentative.

He did. I was trying to put my ten year old to sleep which is extremely hard as she has ADD/ASD and cannot sleep well at all. During lockdown with the lack of school and exercise to regulate her, her bedtimes are becoming ridiculous. At 12.30 I realized she was still awake so I came to her room and asked her to clean her teeth (again) and get into bed. Normally my DH would back me up on this tricky bedtime, but when he appeared he was obviously drunk. I took my daughter in the bathroom and made her do her teeth, and I started trying not to cry. I’m fucking tired, I’ve had the kids 24/7 during lockdown and I find it really frustrating when DH is supposed to be supervising her bedtime whilst I put the other one to bed, he was downstairs drinking and playing PC games.

Crying seemed to annoy him as he started asking why I was crying. Then he got louder and louder so I told him I would film him so he could watch it the next day to see how he behaves. I then told him I was tired and I was off back to bed. He started BELLOWING at the tip of his voice that I ‘wanted a fucking argument as usual’. I told him repeatedly that I’d didn’t and was going to bed but when he is pissed, he doesn’t actually listen. He stamped up the stairs shouting at me and woke my youngest. He was terrified as he has never actually seen Daddy that loud and angry before. My oldest started crying as well and was begging him to to stop.

He did and he went to bed but I’m left physically shaking, and very tearful. The problem is I grew up in a household with violent parents and I feel like I’m ten years old scared in my room.

The two of us have worked really hard to give our children a safe, stress free, happy household so I’m furious that he has behaved like this in front them.

Our relationship has always been relatively good. He is supportive, kind, caring - particularly during some bad health on my part. We get along great and he makes me laugh. But every now and then he gets leathered and I can’t handle it.

I don’t know if I should just be writing this off as him being pissed and not worrying to much about it as I’ve only seen him really drunk about five/six times throughout our 20 year relationship, or if I should be really worried. I felt unsafe and scared in our home earlier and my children were bewildered and scared as well.

Any advice? Am I overreacting to a stressed out DH who has had a few beers to decompress, or is it something worrying?

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 16/07/2020 15:55

If you make excuses to stay with someone with an alcohol problem then your children will suffer.
It doesn’t matter if it’s “the booze” or “the real him”. The fact is that if he can’t stop drinking forever then you and your kids will never be able to relax.
If that’s what you call liking your life then that’s very sad. Your kids deserve better.

DonLewis · 16/07/2020 16:12

@Marzipanface

I can’t leave. I have no where to go. It’s the usual story I’m afraid. No money, no family, no support. I don’t even drive due to being really bad with sensory overload. I don’t want to leave. I like my life. I just don’t like the five times he’s got very drunk. I like all the other billion times he hasn’t.

I’m not a big drinker and alcohol has never played a large part in my life. Do only some people become angry and aggressive when drunk then? What does this mean? Does it mean they are hiding these feelings normally? I’m trying to work out if it is just the booze or if he is hiding his real self. I don’t know how you can spent 20 years with someone feeling safe and protected for them to suddenly make you feel the opposite. Is it me?

Thank you all for some perspective.

And this is why he need never change. Or stop. He'll reign it in long enough that you feel safe again and then bam. And you'll be back to feeling like this, with an added sprinkling of self loathing for allowing yourself to be back to square one.

What a position to be in op. I hope you're OK.

Tappering · 16/07/2020 19:18

You need to start working on an exit plan OP.

Hopefully he'll take this seriously and stop drinking, but you need to be ready in case he does it again.

In the nicest possible way, you can't bury your head in the sand and ignore it. If he does it again, what are you going to do? Put up with your children growing up and thinking this is ok? That it's fine for them to be scared when Daddy's drunk and shouting and Mummy's crying?

EKGEMS · 16/07/2020 21:18

"I can't leave" How lovely to cop out of seizing control of your life with an alcoholic and leaving your poor children with wonderful parental examples

LouiseTrees · 16/07/2020 21:31

@Marzipanface

I can’t leave. I have no where to go. It’s the usual story I’m afraid. No money, no family, no support. I don’t even drive due to being really bad with sensory overload. I don’t want to leave. I like my life. I just don’t like the five times he’s got very drunk. I like all the other billion times he hasn’t.

I’m not a big drinker and alcohol has never played a large part in my life. Do only some people become angry and aggressive when drunk then? What does this mean? Does it mean they are hiding these feelings normally? I’m trying to work out if it is just the booze or if he is hiding his real self. I don’t know how you can spent 20 years with someone feeling safe and protected for them to suddenly make you feel the opposite. Is it me?

Thank you all for some perspective.

To actually answer you here rather than pile on about not leaving. Yes, some people actually become more loving when drunk and I don’t think we’ll ever know if those that do become violent are hiding these tendencies in sober life. Also re your prior post, no one needs to drink and certainly no one needs a whole crate. You are not being unreasonable for him never to drink around the kids.
RednaxelasLunch · 16/07/2020 21:38

It doesn't matter why he drinks. It only matters that his behaviour is unacceptable when he does drink.

Can you see the difference?

When you're bleeding out you don't ask for a detective, to find out who shot you. You call the ambulance to save your life.

Marzipanface · 06/08/2020 13:34

Thank you all for your comments. He hasn’t touched a drop since.

"I can't leave" How lovely to cop out of seizing control of your life with an alcoholic and leaving your poor children with wonderful parental examples

This is the nastiest piece of victim-blaming I’ve seen on this site. I literally have no where to go. I don’t have a career. I have an autoimmune disease which completely fucked my career to be honest so my husband is the sole earner. He has never been financially abusive and we have a joint account. I am currently shielding because of Covid and I’m Clinically vulnerable due to the nature of my disability so instead of offering advice, you victim-blame me and set me the impossible task of leaving
With nowhere to go
No money
Disabled
In the middle of a pandemic whilst I’m shielding.

Nice.

OP posts:
Durgasarrow · 06/08/2020 16:00

NEVER doubt yourself on this issue. Trust your gut.

Crunchymum · 06/08/2020 16:26

@Marzipanface

Thank you all for your comments. He hasn’t touched a drop since.

"I can't leave" How lovely to cop out of seizing control of your life with an alcoholic and leaving your poor children with wonderful parental examples

This is the nastiest piece of victim-blaming I’ve seen on this site. I literally have no where to go. I don’t have a career. I have an autoimmune disease which completely fucked my career to be honest so my husband is the sole earner. He has never been financially abusive and we have a joint account. I am currently shielding because of Covid and I’m Clinically vulnerable due to the nature of my disability so instead of offering advice, you victim-blame me and set me the impossible task of leaving
With nowhere to go
No money
Disabled
In the middle of a pandemic whilst I’m shielding.

Nice.

I appreciate your difficulties (I have autoimmune arthritis and am mid flare, its utterly debilitating) but why did you post?

Do you want people to reassure you that occasional abuse is OK? That if he is good 95% of the time then its not really an abusive relationship? That because he never hits you and isn't financially abusive that the odd drunken, shouty night should be brushed under the carpet?

What stands out to me is that your emotional health is dictated by where your DH is in his drinking cycle. That is your choice but your kids will grow up with the same anxieties and fears about their Dad.

It will happen again, and then you'll feel the same fear and pain again. And in-between you'll be stressed and anxious waiting for the next incident.

I think the only solution is him making a real commitment to sobriety.

The fact that he was 12 years sober tells me he has long standing alcohol issues. Have you discussed his period of teetotalism with him? Have you told him how affected you are by his drinking?

EKGEMS · 06/08/2020 19:05

What I posted was your reality and not "victim blaming" You paint yourself as the only victim in your posts but the true victims are your children. You have choices-your husband was menacing you and your children drunk-you could have called the police and had him arrested-you could seek out and find support at Al-anon and researched alcoholism and what y

EKGEMS · 06/08/2020 19:06

...and what your options are. You are their parent. Stand up and protect them

Marzipanface · 06/08/2020 20:49

I posted because I wanted to know if I was overreacting bearing in mind I’m largely a non-drinker and my DH has long periods of sobriety and I didn’t know what to do.

Thank you for your advice and help.
Most of you were helpful. I think telling me I’m a shit parent and just making excuses is an awful response. It’s not practical for us all to up and leave, particularly in a pandemic.

OP posts:
mrsbyers · 06/08/2020 21:48

I don’t think you’re a shit parent but having grown up in this sort of family environment I have a history of getting involved with pretty destructive relationships - you are enforcing messages with your children that this is all acceptable , it simply isn’t and at some stage it will affect their lives significantly

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