Age gaps...

[morriseysquif]

38 year old man , and 18 year old woman. She is my niece, just left school in her first job.

I'm trying to think positive.

Yeah, I’m in an age gap relationship but I met my DP in my twenties, as a trainee solicitor and was definitely a person in my own right. This is bonkers

My first partner when I was 18 he was 34, we were fine and only split due to me going to work in America.

There are twenty years between DH and I, and we have an incredibly happy loving marriage. However, I'm not a teenager. We were 29/49 when we got together six years ago.

Thanks for the feedback, it's the age stage, if she were 25 and he were 20 years older it would be different. Im not going to but in but I'll be close by and there for her. It's the civil service they work in.

Dirty old man was my first thought. YANBU to be concerned. He's probably useless emotionally.

Also chipping in on the pro age gap side - I was 18, he was 45. I'm 30 now and we are still blissfully in love. Outside of the age gap we are a totally normal couple.

They might stay together, they probably won't - most new relationships fail. If you nag at her constantly she won't break up with him - just hide him away.

My dad tried breaking us up by being hostile to him, it just meant that I didn't see my dad for 3 years. Dad ended up giving him a chance and they are very close friends now, but it took ages for our father-daughter relationship to recover.

Keep an open mind, support her if things go wrong, and it will sort itself out in the long run. Interference won't help.

@aLilNonnyMouse can you see why your dad was hostile to a man 27 years senior to his teenage daughter were dating?

My godmother is married to someone 25 years senior and it was fantastic in her 30's when she had no worries about money because he was successful, no mortgage and for a 50 something he was definitely in good shape for his age.

It is a lot different now that she's in her late 50's and she's now looking after her aging husband and parents and is looking at spending her elder years alone for a long period of it.

20 year age gaps are fine but not when one is still a teenager. He sounds shit aswell.

@LouHotel

I'm not an idiot. I could always see why. But I was never going to listen to him. I "knew" he was a good guy. Well I thought I did - I just luckily turned out to be right.

I'm not saying 18 year olds know best, most don't. But if you force an 18 year old to choose don't get upset if they don't choose you.

She probably "knows" too. If she is right or not is still to be seen. From the extra information given, she's probably not. I'm just saying being hostile to him/her over this will destroy OPs relation to her, not hers to his.

My best friend got together with her husband when he was 35 and she was 17. Very happy together with 2 children. They've been together for 23 years.
Age is just a number.

You'll get people on here saying 'I got with my husband when I was 14 and he 25' or 'It's legal'. Not much critical thinking on this site when it comes to age gaps I'm afraid.

If you're going to go for an older man you might as well go for one with his shit together rather than a drug user.