To think that it’s impossible to start again at 50?

[IceCreamSummer20]

I’m looking for tales of inspiration as I feel very down in the dumps.

I’m in another country, in a failed 10 year relationship with a man who I thought was finally the love of my life. I really did everything to make it work. I’m going to move back to UK but delayed because of covid19. We have a child, with severe SN age 9 and I have an older DS who is off to University. I had a good career however I had to move twice. My kids had higher needs and I was in more remote areas, so just never got back on track career wise. I’m now a SAHM.

Ex is already off with younger women, bit of a cliche as he’s their boss. Annoyingly he is still really physically fit, earns loads, great job, handsome and seems to be looking forward to his future as a single man and won’t be that involved in DS with SN.

In contrast I feel like my future life is bleak. I love DS but he’s extremely challenging, exhausts most of my energy, and in reality will live with me all his life. How do I find love again? All the men seem to want women 40 or younger. Tried to date already, put my best self on, it was either young men wanting to score an older woman, or men approaching 70 wanting a nurse! I’ve tried looking again at restarting my career, had some interviews in UK, all eventually turned me down for ‘not being current enough’.

Please help! I need to know it’s not over!

Good on you OP! Your attitude has really inspired me - Thank you!

You need to form a better relationship with yourself. It's time to focus on you, your goals and how you can achieve them.
Yes, it sounds like you have been dealt a rough hand but at 50 you probably have another 20 years of working to do. Seek and use whatever help is available with your son. Upskill and start having faith that you can make a great life for yourself.

I met someone at 55. On Tinder. There are great people out there. I'm now 57 and blissfully happy. Don't give up.

How old is your DS and what his diagnoses? There are some great live in (weekdays or full time) or day places in the U.K. Get an assessment of his needs. He can lead a very enriching and fulfilling life and be apart of a community

Your first step is to settle in the U.K. and ensure he is accessing the correct support for his needs and your needs.

Forget about men at the moment. Your self confidence and happiness will increase once things have settled down and your doing something fulfilling for yourself.

What is current experience? Is there any way you can get this voluntarily doing a couple of days in a setting which will also give you references or poach you. Nursing is different as a formal refresher course is needed but maybe it’s worth going this route

Voluntary work is often the way forward. Get your face seen and your work known.