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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off he won't stop touching stuff when I am trying to cook?!

113 replies

VelveteenBunni · 15/07/2020 21:02

DP is really trying my patience. I'll be cooking something and leave it to simmer or whatever, and DP will come along and turn it all the way down!

It winds me up a bit because it's usually potatoes which means when I come back after 15 mins and should normally find basically cooked potatoes, I'm finding raw ones bumping around in tepid water (my hobs go LOW)

I bloody snapped at him today. I don't understand why he keeps doing it when I've asked him not to?!

OP posts:
Numptywallice · 16/07/2020 08:14

I’ve got one of those, drove me mad that one day I said I was done with the cooking and it was now his role. I now very very rarely cook and it’s his job. He also used to moan I spent to much at food shopping, guess what’s now one of his other jobs!

Camphillgirl · 16/07/2020 08:47

Wait till he starts fiddling with controls while you are driving. Or tells you that you are in wrong gear.......

Meatbadger · 16/07/2020 09:01

They’re all spoony fuckers

Chicchicchicchiclana · 16/07/2020 09:45

I get all the ingredients I'm going to need out and in one place before I start. Quite often I'll get the meat or salad vegetables out of the fridge to come up to room temperature. It's taken quite a lot of tense words over the years to stop DH from habitually putting them away again.

Miljea · 17/07/2020 01:00

DH thinks that the oven magically reaches the desired temp quicker if you whack it up to 200....

Many a thing got incinerated in the outside whilst raw within as a result....🙄

CrabtreeEstate · 17/07/2020 06:21

I have the opposite problem Miljea

DP would probably accuse me of being the spoony fucker because I do sometimes go behind him and turn the oven up...
Only because he cooks anything and everything at 160 degrees. Meat, roast potatoes, chips, everything gets put on at 160. "low and slow" he says.

50 minutes later, out comes a tray of sad, pale, anemic looking sausages. "But they're cooked!!" well, yeah, but..... Sad

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 18/07/2020 18:01

Well. Mind blown at the potatoes in cold water notion. Does make sense though. Especially for mash.

Another thing Dh does is leave the bin cupboard wide open. We’ve got a big pull out cupboard under the work top that holds the bins and he keeps leaving it open. And we wonder why there’s maggots under it. Hmm

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 18/07/2020 18:18

I asked dh to stir something for me yesterday - but reminded him firmly NOT to spoonyfucker it - he knows exactly what that means.

I think I am on the original spoonyfucker thread, linked to upthread. He is getting better.

VettiyaIruken · 18/07/2020 18:21

You interfere - you volunteer.

Every time he does it you say ok, you are now cooking that meal.

And you walk out of the room.

Didn't take my husband long to learn.

willowmelangell · 18/07/2020 18:26

After years of family cooking I have a new mind set now.
You can criticise or you can eat it.
Not both.Grin

MusicianTom · 18/07/2020 18:32

My favourite one from the original SpoonyFucker thread was the CheffyTosser. The MNer posting was cooking scallops or something, all carefully timed and turned over individually, and her DH came along and chucked them all up in the air like Ainsley Fucking Harriott Grin

Borgonzola · 18/07/2020 18:37

My SO will switch off the microwave when I've got it on as a timer and has also shut my work laptop before if I'm away from my desk (which disconnects from the VPN and loses my work). He's switched off the socket for my charging phone more than once. He does it for environmental/economic reasons but it drive me insane. We've reached a compromise now where I can have the oven on at all times as it's useful to have the time on there - in his old flat it was always off.

Borgonzola · 18/07/2020 18:37

My SO will switch off the microwave when I've got it on as a timer and has also shut my work laptop before if I'm away from my desk (which disconnects from the VPN and loses my work). He's switched off the socket for my charging phone more than once. He does it for environmental/economic reasons but it drive me insane. We've reached a compromise now where I can have the oven on at all times as it's useful to have the time on there - in his old flat it was always off.

Borgonzola · 18/07/2020 18:37

My SO will switch off the microwave when I've got it on as a timer and has also shut my work laptop before if I'm away from my desk (which disconnects from the VPN and loses my work). He's switched off the socket for my charging phone more than once. He does it for environmental/economic reasons but it drive me insane. We've reached a compromise now where I can have the oven on at all times as it's useful to have the time on there - in his old flat it was always off.

Borgonzola · 18/07/2020 18:41

Oh great, a triple post Blush how embarrassing

Ps glad to know I'm not the only Peggy fucker here

MitziK · 18/07/2020 19:06

I have to absent myself from the entire proceedings if DP is cooking.

If I don't, I'd go mad.

Flames always halfway up the side of the pans - multiple expensive frying pans have been destroyed that way.

No lids on pans, so we're paying to heat the outside world instead of the food. And so much splatter on the tiles, it looks like a murder's been committed, instead of merely being contemplated.

Things cooked out of order, necessitating repeated microwave pings as he reheats and reheats until whatever it is resembles the molten core of Planet Earth and vegetables are either cooked to death or could probably be replanted in the garden.

Cupboard doors open everywhere.

Dirty utensils scattered with abandon.

Spillages, packaging, flour, peelings everywhere so by the end, he's got approximately three square inches within which to work.

Burned to a crisp whilst simultaneously raw meat.

Stuff all over the floor where he hasn't got anywhere to put the food once it comes out of whatever fiery inferno it's been in or pointed in the general direction of.

Food left uncovered across the countertops where flies can get to it. As though nothing is going to notice raw meat, cut fruit or cut vegetables, tins, packets or jars through the power of his mind alone. When it's literally their evolutionary niche to seek such things and take advantage of them.

And I have to put my earphones in to avoid the customary dinner bell of three smoke alarms screeching that it's nearly an hour before the ten minute recipe is deemed ready for consumption.

And then, because he takes so long and makes so much mess, he says he's too tired to clean up and will do it tomorrow. Which means I can't (and won't) use the kitchen at all in the meantime, as I can't get to the sink, surfaces or anywhere to do anything for myself.

In fairness, he has asked how I can cook and the kitchen looks pristine by the time I dish up. And I have said without expressing my innermost rage that it's all due to having clear surfaces when you start and cleaning up as you go along. But he doesn't really believe me that it's easy. I do it by magic, I suppose

Craftycorvid · 18/07/2020 19:28

I live with a hidey fucker; tidies like a squirrel with OCD and a nut cache - then has NO idea what he’s done with anything, denies ever touching it. Years later said thing will turn up somewhere completely random. Or not.

He’s also a lurkey fucker - comes and looms when I’m cooking 😡

sqirrelfriends · 18/07/2020 19:37

Sudden realisation that I might be a spoony fucker Blush

In my defence, DH rarely cooks and tends to get frazzled and let things burn.

Keeva2017 · 18/07/2020 19:38

@Fluffycloudland77 I laughed so hard at your post I think have genuinely pulled a muscle Grin. I want to be your friend!

Keeva2017 · 18/07/2020 19:40

@Craftycorvid OMG I live with a hidey fucker too!!! I have accused him of psychological abuse because I swear the bastard does it on purpose now all under the guise of “tidying”. It’s. Not. Tidying!!!

MulticolourMophead · 18/07/2020 19:50

@Shinygoldbauble

Overground start in boiling water, underground start in cold water. If you start potatoes in boiling water the outside cooks too quickly and the middle will be undercooked. Secondary school home economics but has always served me well.
I use boiling water and have never had this problem, my potatoes cook fine.
MulticolourMophead · 18/07/2020 19:53

@Hangingover

If you start potatoes in boiling water the outside cooks too quickly and the middle will be undercooked

Oh so THIS is why my mash is always shit but my roasties are amazing. Thank you, I've always wondered this!

I have a spoony fucker too. He is generally not allowed anywhere near the kitchen because he'd burn it down but one time about three months ago I was feeling tired and said to him that I'd made the rest could he just do some rice. Thrilled he was! Bustled off to kitchen (not my kitchen at the time so don't care if burns it down). Comes back. Which rice and where is it? Either, it's in the dry food box in a bag with Rice written on it. Great! Bimbles off. Comes back... how long for? Read packet DP. Okay! Shambles off. Curious I go into the kitchen twenty minutes later to see DP at the stove triumphantly and continually stirring a pan of white cement in about a cm of water.

THIS MAN HELPED INVENT MOBILE INTERNET.

Buy an Asian style rice cooker. Works every time. I'm a reasonable cook, but I've never had success with rice until I caved and got the rice cooker.
Fluffycloudland77 · 18/07/2020 19:54

@Keeva2017 🤨 Well you’d be the only one!.

madwoman1ntheattic · 18/07/2020 19:58

I love that everyone pre fecking penis beaker just went, ‘aye. Spoony Fucker.’
I’m on it somewhere. I’m the spoony fucker. DH hates it.

Fluffycloudland77 · 18/07/2020 20:03

Or cube if poo, rivers of sweet corn.