To think that slim people have different habits re food and exercise

[WhatWillSantaBring]

I've been overweight most of my adult life, and find I put on weight very easily. BUT I also think I have had very unhealthy food habits - I think of food as treats, I avoid the scales, I eat when I'm not hungry, I always have the cake, emotional eating etc. I know all the things I do wrong (and that I'm sure a lot of overweight people do) but what I want to know is what do thin people do "right". i.e. what are the habits of people who are consistently a healthy weight (i.e. BMI of 20-25).

I've got some very petite friends who will do things like:

• weigh every day and take immediate action if their weight goes up by more than 5lbs;
• never accept a biscuit
• only drink one glass of wine (unless its a very special occasion when they may have two)
• never order themselves a dessert/ice cream etc (will just eat whatever their kids leave)

- exercise 5-6 days a week without fail, including Christmas Day

• never have seconds

If you're slender, and have maintained a healthy weight for years, what habits do you have that you think help you?

I usually get told I eat loads. I do, but I usually only eat one meal and a lot of it is veg. I also eat slowly, and that makes a big difference.

I am naturally lean, but had overweight parents. Aunts and uncles were slim, cousins mainly slim. Parents were born during WWII, and as much younger baby siblings were a bit spoilt.

The only time I have been overweight is when most social activities were based around eating out. I was eating food I didn't want and piling on the lbs and spending ££.

I was a child in the 1970s. There weren't many fat kids around then.
This is a public information film from that period

What is normal has changed.

I'm a UK size 6 with a BMI around 21. I do believe there are elements of genetics and elements of upbringing and habits to my weight. But these things contribute:

I'm not a snacker. I tend to eat at meals and then not have anything else. I do have treats though but, generally, it's after dinner which means I eat less.

On that note, I inadvertently have always done intermittent fasting. Breakfast is 7.30am, dinner is 5.30pm. I generally don't eat in between.

My plates are quite "balanced" by default and all home cooked from scratch. I tend to have 2 servings of veg, some protein and some carbs. I do eat a little more fat and a little less carbohydrate than most when I track macros.

My go-to drinks are sugar-free so I don't add liquid calories. Cold water, herbal tea and black coffee.

I hate feeling really full so I don't eat large portions at home or out. If we go for a meal I tend to go for quality over quantity too.

Eating doesn't provide comfort for me.

I recognise there is a significant privilege in the fact that none of these are conscious choices so I'm not fighting against an ingrained habit or feeling restricted.

I never choose to turn down a treat I want, I just don't have the drive for eating lots of treats. I never weigh myself at home and we don't even have scales. I've had to gain weight before but recently my weight has been really consistent.

I think a lot is to do with portion size.

I look at photos online of what people eat and think is normal and I'm shocked at how much is on their plates!

Further to my note above—this friend has on several occasions turned up to a lunch or dinner arrangement, decided she wasn't hungry, and just ordered a token bowl of chips or something... she's far more interested in seeing people and socialising than eating.

She will literally hold out until she is starving as she can't be bothered to eat. Once we were on our way to a friend's wedding reception and we had to stop just before we arrived to get her a sandwich from a motorway shop. She then hardly touched the very posh dinner that was served less than an hour later!

I never have seconds, and only have cake if it looks really nice. I'm full enough after a meal and can always eat later if I find that I'm actually hungry. I do think that it's hard to break your habits, so some people are unlucky in that they were not taught how to have a healthy relationship with food when they were young.

I think a lot seems to be down to metabolism and genetics.
I’m a size 10 and have been since around age 17/18. I’m now late 40s and had 1 pregnancy / child. No one in my family (parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents) has ever been overweight nor been on a diet.

I actually don’t own any scales. I have no clue what my weight is. But I know if I’ve put on weight if my clothes feel tighter. Most of my clothes are ones I’ve had for 5-15 years anyway, and I always buy the same size for new clothes.

I love my food and usually eat generous sized portions (or if being polite I’ll have a small portion first and then go for seconds/ finish off all the leftovers afterwards!) However, when I’m at home, most meals are cooked from scratch, and being vegetarian I also eat lots of veg and usually make healthy choices for food, such as whole grain carbs, fresh ingredients instead of processed foods, don’t really buy sweets or biscuits to have at home.

But, I will never hesitate to take treats when offered if out - such as biscuits offered at a friend’s house or at a work function where biscuits or cake is provided. Also if eating out I usually get a dessert as it’s part of the ‘treat’ experience of eating out. But I consider these things very much as occasional ‘treats’ and not part of my usual daily consumption.

I don’t really drink alcohol- maybe a couple of glasses of wine a month when out for a meal, but I never drink at home- only if out for a social event.

I never really did much in the way of routine exercise. I’m just not a sporty person. But, and this is a BIG ‘but’.... I’m usually on the go ALL THE TIME. DS has recently been diagnosed with ADHD, and on reflection I think I’ve also probably had this my whole life to some degree. I’m always moving, always active - always late, which means always rushing about and running for buses and appointments that I’m about to miss! I always try to fit too much into my day and don’t allow enough time to do everything, and am a bit disorganized, so I always end up crazy busy running up and downstairs, running for that bus that I’m late for and realizing I’ve forgotten my bus pass and have to run back home again to get it in time to not miss the next bus!!!! The amount of energy I must get through every day just with my normal level of life activity must be equivalent to other pps regular running and swimming sporting activities!

It would never occur to me to keep treats in the house. We'll buy a big bag crisps at weekend, I'll get biscuits if people are coming round, I'll pop to the shop if I fancy a choc bar, but the idea of having these things in the house is alien to me. My parents never did it so it was just never a think for me.

Saying that, I have no self control so if I do get this stuff in, I'll finish it that evening.

I think alcohol is a big thing tbh. I don’t drink a really, two glasses of wine maybe when I have dinner on a Sunday as we eat out. I do like wine but I don’t crave it - I love a brew.

I don’t like fizzy drinks that much, although when I go to the cinema I do like a coke.

We do have a takeaway each week though but again I get full. We had a kfc this week (awful) I managed to eat my fries, once piece of chicken. Nothing afterwards but this is because I was full.

I have never consciously denied myself any food I’ve fancied though. Ever.

I agree with AtLeastThreeDrinks, in that i think genetics has a lot to do with it.. and am also never hungry in the mornings.

If i'm stressed, upset or really busy i can go a whole day without eating, almost running on adrenaline and cups of tea. I've always done it.

Having observed the very different eating patterns of my XP, i noted he ate really quickly (barely chewing!) and would just keep going.. i eat really really slowly.. so i used to ask him how did he know when he was full enough to stop at that rate? His family are all overweight, mine are all the opposite. Genetics, or habit?

I have always had lowish BMI - 21 ish. I adore food and I’m a foodie. I eat a lot. I don’t diet. But I adore healthful food and I eat for health. Lots of veggies but will delicious dressings made from olive oil. Good quality proteins. Dark chocolate is my treat (rather too much). I don’t drink and I exercise but not to crazy excess.

I will have birthday cake and I order dessert. I just wouldn’t have dessert and then pudding wine and crisps if that makes sense.

The moment you deprive yourself the more you want it. I really feel the key is health and not weight loss

I am slim and I have some of those habits OP. I have noticed a difference from larger friends.

I eat smaller portions
One course if eating out
Never dessert at home
I only eat treats if I am walking somewhere, have none in the house
I wouldn't order an ice cream if treating the kids
I hardly ever get drunk (once a year?), but I have 1-2 drinks a couple of times a week
I exercise about 3 x per week

I think it is mostly portion size. I just got fish and chips for dinner, but dh and I share one portion.

That list of rules does sound a bit joyless! I've always been a size 8-10, and out of those -
-weigh roughly once a week just to make sure it's not creeping up

• I'll have a biscuit if I want one, but rarely want them - there's better treats!
• drink as much as I fancy, I prefer spirits with mixers to wine.
• Always have a desert of eating out (but not a starter too or I'd have no room for desert!)
• I try to do 6000-10000 steps per day and weight train 2-3 times a week
• I' d have seconds of I wanted it but I tend to eat filling portions anyway so rarely need to.

"Rules" I do follow:

I track food on myfitnesspal and average about 1600 calories a day (am a shortarse) - I'm quite flexible with it and if I have more one day I'll have less on others. And treats are allowed, I'll just have a smaller lunch or dinner if I fancy cake!

I try to cook from scratch and batch cook a few healthy meals a week so I have things to easily grab.

I try to eat at least 80g protein per day.

Takeaways are allowed but not too often - I can eat a whole stuffed crust pizza to myself and sometimes I do because once every so often won't make any difference in the grand scheme of things!

Diets are the problem.

The more you diet, then fall off the diet, then go back on, creates all these issues with foods. You will always end up heavier in the end!
Bad foods, good foods? There's no such thing! Just eat to nourish your body, fuel it properly and have a better relationship with food.
Stop dieting and you will find you won't binge and snack half as much!

I lost a fair bit of weight in my 30s by changing my whole outlook with food. I don't diet anymore, but I do occasionally cut back a bit. I don't think of any foods as bad/I don't count calories/I eat healthily/I'll snack on crisps or chocolate or cake if I feel like it (snack not binge) and my weight stays within half a stone either way without any real effort.

DH has always been slim. He doesn't stay still, has never driven to work and regularly forgets to eat breakfast or lunch. He does eat junk food regularly (plus my excellent home cooking).

I'm size 6/8.

I think a lot of it is to do with the fact that I eat what I want but I don't have the urge to binge the way some people do e.g. if I open a packet of biscuits or sweets, I eat 2 and absolutely don't feel like any more. I've seen friends demolish giant packs of biscuits or chocolates in one sitting. These friends struggle with their weight even if they exercise, diet, watch calories etc.

I also walk everywhere up to an hour distance. I exercise a fair bit (but not that much). I try to have a balanced/varied diet with lots of fresh veg and protein.

I do put on weight sometimes, but I don't constantly weigh myself. I can usually shed it very easily if my trousers start feeling a bit tight. I still use jeans I wore when I was 18.

Some of my friends who struggle with weight think I'm lucky that I can get away with eating what I want. I am lucky, but I suffer from horrific adult acne and female pattern balding. I am constantly on a cocktail of medication to (just about) control both which wreaks havoc on my hormones and mood. I guess I think my friends are lucky for having clear skin and hair! You win some and lose some I guess, no one has it all. Be kind to yourself OP.

I haven’t read the full thread but this is what I do. I’m mid 40s and have always been slim.

I don’t weigh myself and don’t own scales.
I don’t think of any food as forbidden and eat what I like when I like including chocolate etc.
I drink a fair bit (especially by mn standards) and often.
I walk the dog every day at a fast pace for about an hour.
I don’t sit still that much during the day.
I have fairly moderate portions for meals.
I stop eating when I’m full.

That’s it.

Umm all I would add is that I have generally been the same weight until I hit late 40s and the weight has started creeping on and it is hard to shift even though I am sort of watching what I eat. I think genetics do play a part in it, as does lifestyle but so does age. Simply cutting back is no longer doing it for me.

I'm sure with me its because I'm a fidget and always on the go during the daytime.I walk our dogs and love digging the garden over the gym anyday.However once I hit the sofa in the evening that's me done for the day.
I eat what I want ,when I want and have always been slim but my mum was the same.
I do think your metabolism plays a big part.Plus I'm not much into alcohol. I like one glass of wine but any more sends me to sleep. I like chocolate and cake but can eat a couple from a box or a small piece and that satisfies my craving .It's not even about calories.I just have a natural off switch.Also key I think is cooking from scratch with fresh ingredients. We rarely buy processed food ,often because we have had to budget carefully but luckily I like to cook.But I realise that's not the case for everyone.

Yeah, it's basically habits. You've identified that you emotionally eat, for example, 'treat' yourself a lot, eat cake and so on.

I do not over-use scales unless trying to gain for the purposes of weight-lifting and muscle growth. I accept biscuits, but I am not often in positions where I am offered them. I dislike wine and rarely drink, and never at home. I walk daily and most of my hobbies are forms of exercise - hiking, mountain biking, powerlifting. Therefore I don't 'go and do exercise', I just do the things I enjoy which happen to involve moving.

I'd say the first tips are to not have cake/biscuits in the house and don't drink in the house. Save it for having a glass with friends or at a restaurant. The amount of calories in alcoholic drinks is mental, and obviously you don't get full and stop.

Then find a hobby that means moving a bit.

@Wearywithteens

So what have we learned here? By and large slim people ‘love’ exercise, don’t drink, don’t eat dessert, limit their calories and stop eating when they’re full.

I’m fat because exercise is mind numbingly boring and I get no pleasure from it. I love the sensual pleasure of food and alcohol - it’s a big part of the joy of life as a human species and I can’t stop when I’m full as I never feel full.

I’m just doomed to being ‘porky’ (as a kind pp called us) aren’t I?

No, I don’t think that is what we’ve learned. I think you’re saying what you want to hear. Many slim people have said they don’t do any or at least many of those “slim” things.

Slim people eat less, eat less crap and (sometimes) exercise more.

I am, on the whole, slim. If I go up 2 or 3 pounds I rein myself in and eat less.

Speaking as a former long-time skinny who is now a post-menopausal fatty, basically my day-to-day food choices aren't that great and I just eat too much. Of everything.

I think that's it really.

I walk a lot and always have done. I started doing a 30 min online exercise class 5 times a week during lockdown. I’ve toned up but haven’t really lost weight.

I don’t snack during the day and we try to avoid starch with our evening meals so usually just meat/fish and veg or salad. But I do drink a glass of wine every night (am trying to stop between Mon-Thurs) and about 3 at the weekend..I always have some form of snack after dinner though.

If we go out for lunch or dinner (obviously not very often at the moment), I eat whatever I want.

I try to only eat snacks that I really like (I used to eat whatever was in the house but I’ve tried not to).

I’m mid 40s and have been about the same weight since I was a teenager - other than when I was pregnant or the 6 months post each of the births. My BMI is 20.5...

I weigh myself once a week or every 2 weeks. If I put on more than half a kg than I try to cut out the post dinner snack.

I also take offence to some of the comments that people could get up at 6am and go for a run if they really want to. I have problems with my joints which means that yes 10 years ago I could do high-impact exercise but now because of the deterioration in my condition I cannot do this any more. Yoga is OK, weights etc but not the cardio so it is much harder to lose weight. Please think before you tar everyone with the same brush