To think that slim people have different habits re food and exercise

[WhatWillSantaBring]

I've been overweight most of my adult life, and find I put on weight very easily. BUT I also think I have had very unhealthy food habits - I think of food as treats, I avoid the scales, I eat when I'm not hungry, I always have the cake, emotional eating etc. I know all the things I do wrong (and that I'm sure a lot of overweight people do) but what I want to know is what do thin people do "right". i.e. what are the habits of people who are consistently a healthy weight (i.e. BMI of 20-25).

I've got some very petite friends who will do things like:

• weigh every day and take immediate action if their weight goes up by more than 5lbs;
• never accept a biscuit
• only drink one glass of wine (unless its a very special occasion when they may have two)
• never order themselves a dessert/ice cream etc (will just eat whatever their kids leave)

- exercise 5-6 days a week without fail, including Christmas Day

• never have seconds

If you're slender, and have maintained a healthy weight for years, what habits do you have that you think help you?

She eats one bite of very lovely homemade cake, then says she will put it away to have later. It's very nice, she says, and she's looking forward to it, but she has realised she isn't in the mood for it just now.

This rings a few alarm bells for me. I wonder if she really does have a good relationship with food.

Def think 2000 css cals is too much for the average, 5ft 5, non exercising woman. I probably eat 1500 to maintain my weight.

She eats all except the last bite of cake, then stops, saying she has had enough. I manage to keep quiet, but inwardly think, "Enough? But there's more cake on your plate! And it isn't as if you couldn't manage it - it's only one bite!" or "But now it will either go to waste, or you will have to go to the trouble of wrapping it up to save for later. Why not just eat it?"

If you are full, but continue to eat, how does that make you feel, physically?

We have a lot of cake at work. There have been times when I’ve already had my lunch and someone has produced cake. Sometimes i have left what other might only describe as a mouthful because I'm full. If id have continued to eat after i felt full, i would have felt physically uncomfortable. And where is the joy is eating so much you feel uncomfortable or even a little sick? I might eat it in my afternoon break. I may even take it home after work. I often take home all the left over cake, as im usually one of the last to leave in the evening. But I wont eat so much food in one sitting that it makes me feel Physically uncomfortable.

Id say, without a doubt, it is a far bigger issue to continue to eat after the point it has become enjoyable or necessary, either just because the food is there, or because of greed.

And finally, just keep in mind how bad for us sugar is anyway!

I have always been very slim, I like being active, I feel the benefits and feel goof after. I hate sitting around to, I'm always on the go.

Food wise, I have always been aware of what I eat, I'm never hungry but stick to meal times on the whole, eat sensible portions. I do snack but one or at a push two a day totaling no more than 300 calories in totoal.

Booze, 2/3 times a week 1/2 drinks on these days.

Ive always been aware of my weight and made the effort to maintain it. Contrary to the belief of many I have never been able to eat what I like, if i did I would be bigger and bigger again if I didnt make the effort to exercise.

It may appear effortless but you dont get anything thats worth while for nowt.

"She eats all except the last bite of cake, then stops, saying she has had enough. I manage to keep quiet, but inwardly think, "Enough? But there's more cake on your plate! And it isn't as if you couldn't manage it - it's only one bite!"

@Saracen - I have always been this person, my whole life. I rarely ever finish what's on my plate. I can't remember the last time in a restaurant when a waiter didn't take my plate and asks "was everything ok with it?", because there's always at least half left. And that's not because I have an eating disorder or a body imagine issue. Its simply because I'm FULL. My tummy has sent a signal to my brain to say that's enough, and I know that if i eat anymore I'm likely to feel uncomfortable and possibly sick. Why on earth would I want to feel either of those things?

Maybe it's part of the reason I'm the weight I am (5'8" and weight has never gone above 60kg). Maybe there's something in the theory that slimmer people get that "I'm full" message sent to their brain much sooner, or the message is much clearer, perhaps?

Also, I'll add that people saying (whether we'll meaning or not): "are you sure you can't finish that last bit? Surely you're not full already?" is one of the most irritating and frustrating things. I had this from being a child, and into adulthood. I now have a stock response in restaurants to the question "oh, was everything on with your meal?" when they take the plate away. I simply say "oh yes it was lovely thank you but I don't eat very much as I feel full quickly". They just smile and nod and off they go. Sometimes they say "yes these are quite large portions actually". It used to wind me up, but now I just educate instead. Because not finishing what's on your plate isn't "offensive" to the person who's cooked it, not is it always a sign of an eating disorder or an unhealthy relationship with food - sometimes it's just too much for the size of the person's stomach!

It would never be acceptable for me to assess the amount an overweight person has eaten and comment "are you sure you need to carry on eating what's on your plate? Surely you're full now?". So why is it deemed acceptable for people to say the precise opposite to those who naturally have smaller appetites and tummies?

Rant over. Take away message: some people just naturally eat less and it's perfectly healthy and normal.

I think people hold a lot of misconceptions about eating habits that aren't obvious until you live with someone who's very different to you, or your own habits change significantly. I used to believe weight was mostly genetic, as I 'ate normally' but still stayed skinny. Now, having both been on medication that made me ravenous all the time and (separately) had anorexia, I'm aware that weight is very much a result of how much you eat. What I always thought of as 'eating normally' was actually a set of good habits I'd been brought up with and therefore didn't notice, and the definition of 'normal' spans a vast range for different people.

One thing I have noticed is fairly consistent in these discussions is that some overweight people (not you OP) have the impression that healthy eating is joyless, and people who maintain a skinny figure must be constantly policing their diets. For many people, this isn't the case at all. Given the choice, I would often pick a really nice salad with loads of veg over sweet food, regardless of calories or health benefits, because I like the taste and variety of flavours. I think some people with a different relationship to food find it hard to believe that people can be so different (in much the same way I struggle to wrap my head around the fact that some people genuinely love going to the gym), and assume anyone skinny is always having to restrain themselves from picking the unhealthier option that they really want. Many people have also grown up thinking of vegetables as bland overboiled mush that you're forced to eat alongside the good stuff, rather than the colourful and flavourful (is that a word?) things they can be if they're prepared well, which doesn't help.

@WhatWillSantaBring, if you want to change your habits long term I think the best way to start is probably to find healthy recipes that you like a lot. Anything that really is restrictive and miserable won't be sustainable in the long run, but there's a huge variety of healthy food that is tasty. Anything from curries to fajitas to stir fry to Middle Eastern rice dishes can be made with mostly vegetables and still have tons of flavour. If you think of this as an opportunity to try out new dishes rather than restricting the ones you already like, it might feel like a more positive change.

The other thing that makes a difference IMO is incorporating movement into your daily routine. I walk about a mile or two most days, but I don't think of it as 'doing exercise', it's just part of my usual trip to the supermarket/coffee shop/park etc. I don't have to psych myself up for it in the same way I do 'proper' exercise like going for a run, because it's just something I do without thought.

@LouJ85
Haven’t read everything but that finishing stuff on a plate - I always leave the last bite, no idea why - but it’s like a flashing beacon !!
And restaurants - I don’t have starters or just share one otherwise can’t finish the main. Prefer curries etc where I can help myself. The UK is not designed for smaller people and it makes me laugh that anyone anywhere seems perfectly entitled to say to me “you’re so slim” (thank you!) or “you don’t eat enough, come on have more” (thank you too!)
Getting off track horribly from the question - apologies

@Isaidnomorecrisps Totally! "Is that all you're having?? Surely you can eat more?" Can you only imagine saying to your overweight friend "are you really having all that?? Surely you can eat less?".
It's rude!! I'll eat what I can comfortably fit in my tummy, thanks!

I never do starters or desserts either; I don't have the room for them. But because I'm a "little and often" grazer, I find when I get home about an hour or two later after the meal, after I've digested the small amount I've eaten, that's when I crave something sweet. My partner is always like "god how can you eat that cake now? I'm still full from the meal". And every time I remind him - "because I didn't eat very much at the meal and now I want MY dessert". It's taken 5 years but he gets it now 🤣

Saracen’s daughter doesn’t sound like disordered eating, mine is the same. If she’s not hungry she won’t eat “just because”. She eats 3 hefty meals a day plus has snacks in between if she fancies one, not because it’s there. She will also leave the last bit of cake, or save it for later if not hungry (and she does eat it later), or she will eat the lot, depending on how full she is. It’s called listening to your body.

I see a lot of disordered eating on one side of my family, they appear to eat less than me at mealtimes, restricting portions and not having seconds, yet their cupboards contain an array of “treats” (read sugary crap) which they snack on constantly and will try to ply their guests with several times a day with “g’wan, you deserve it” or “I’ve finished (insert task), time for a treat”.

I think this treat culture that has developed has a created a lot of food issues. I see a lot of food advertising in the same vein when I’m in the UK, nearly always unhealthy food being sold as deliciously sinful and tempting. I expect I notice it more now I’m removed from it. The same in the US, so much shite advertised as delicious food to “indulge” yourself with.

I am slim and do the following:
-I don't drink very much.
-I cook everything from scratch, even "treat" food like pizza and burgers
-I enjoy walking, try to get out as much as possible with the dog
-I weigh myself every week, if there is a 2-5 lbs increase I take immediate action by reducing food/treats

I have always been slim, size 6-8. Having had a baby recently I’m a stone heavier than what I normally am at present.

I think my childhood eating had a big impact - proper portion sizes, was only allowed sweets one day a week. Fast food was a treat. Snacks were things like raisins and vegetable sticks. I have a friend from school on Facebook who is on the larger side and whose children always seem to be eating junk, large portions of food for their age and snacking on cakes etc. Healthy eating starts at home.

I’m not as healthy nowadays but my portion sizes aren’t huge and a takeaway would be once or twice a month. Everything else is home cooked and I don’t eat when full. If I want a biscuit I’ll have 2 or 3 with my tea not the whole packet, but I don’t deny myself anything. Moderation is key! It’s easy to see why people gain weight when there’s so much temptation now.

Until I was 51, in 2013, I was a size 12 - 14 & considered myself big because until 30, I was an 8 - 10. I ate what I wanted, and far too much. I never weighed myself, but admit to pulling back a bit if wristbands were tight.

In 2013 I was sectioned, the only food I had access to was hospital food (bleugh), but, I was put on to strong psychiatric medication. When I came home I needed size 18 - 20. I had according to my GP, gained 16kilos. Once I started to eat food again, I seemed to gain a kilo a week.

My thyroid doesn't work properly but I'm on medication for that, I'm diabetic because of obesity and medication, it's not got worse, but getting this fat off is soooooo hard.

@psychomath

I think people hold a lot of misconceptions about eating habits that aren't obvious until you live with someone who's very different to you, or your own habits change significantly. I used to believe weight was mostly genetic, as I 'ate normally' but still stayed skinny. Now, having both been on medication that made me ravenous all the time and (separately) had anorexia, I'm aware that weight is very much a result of how much you eat. What I always thought of as 'eating normally' was actually a set of good habits I'd been brought up with and therefore didn't notice, and the definition of 'normal' spans a vast range for different people.

One thing I have noticed is fairly consistent in these discussions is that some overweight people (not you OP) have the impression that healthy eating is joyless, and people who maintain a skinny figure must be constantly policing their diets. For many people, this isn't the case at all. Given the choice, I would often pick a really nice salad with loads of veg over sweet food, regardless of calories or health benefits, because I like the taste and variety of flavours. I think some people with a different relationship to food find it hard to believe that people can be so different (in much the same way I struggle to wrap my head around the fact that some people genuinely love going to the gym), and assume anyone skinny is always having to restrain themselves from picking the unhealthier option that they really want. Many people have also grown up thinking of vegetables as bland overboiled mush that you're forced to eat alongside the good stuff, rather than the colourful and flavourful (is that a word?) things they can be if they're prepared well, which doesn't help.

@WhatWillSantaBring, if you want to change your habits long term I think the best way to start is probably to find healthy recipes that you like a lot. Anything that really is restrictive and miserable won't be sustainable in the long run, but there's a huge variety of healthy food that is tasty. Anything from curries to fajitas to stir fry to Middle Eastern rice dishes can be made with mostly vegetables and still have tons of flavour. If you think of this as an opportunity to try out new dishes rather than restricting the ones you already like, it might feel like a more positive change.

The other thing that makes a difference IMO is incorporating movement into your daily routine. I walk about a mile or two most days, but I don't think of it as 'doing exercise', it's just part of my usual trip to the supermarket/coffee shop/park etc. I don't have to psych myself up for it in the same way I do 'proper' exercise like going for a run, because it's just something I do without thought.

Agree with everything here. What a great post.

I genuinely love vegetables, whole grains and legumes. They can be turned into so many delicious dishes and they make me feel great: really strong and energetic. I genuinely prefer them to takeaways or ultra-processed foods now, but I did make a huge effort a few years ago to change my eating habits and cook new recipes using these things. I used to eat loads of takeaways and junk, but really don't like them anymore.

A few of the things that people say they do (that makes them slim) I don’t agree with. I cook everything from scratch (including burgers, pizzas, bread, biscuits, ketchup etc) and almost never eat junk food or takeaways (perhaps 3 x a year?). I was brought up the same way - home cooked food, didn’t step into a McDonalds till I was 13, two sweets after lunch and that was it etc. I think it’s much more about the relationship with food (food makes you better if you’re upset/hurt) and portion control, and listening to hunger signals. I think I also do have a low metabolism (despite being on levothyroxin for the past 4 years) and I have an intense (60 hours a week) and sedentary job, so much as I would love to walk 1-2 hours every day, that is just not going to happen unless I sacrifice time with my family.

Yes but OP how do you cook from scratch?

When I cook from scratch I’ll use spray oil and load with LOADS of veg because this is my favourite part of the dish.

My neighbour also cooks from scratch
Oil oil oil, butter, oil, butter butter etc

I’m slim, but I definitely don’t do all the things on your list!

I eat pretty healthy at home and I do this by just not buying any unhealthy snacks. But if I’m eating out I will have exactly what I want including dessert! We probably eat out a couple of times a month.

Once a week or so I’ll have a bottle of wine or a six pack of beers. Sometimes not every week though.

I enjoy going to the gym and go 5-6 times a week and work pretty hard. Fitness is definitely something I consider a hobby and not a chore.

I don’t really pay attention to the scales but if I’m feeling like I’ve been a bit of a pig lately I will be extra conscious of only eating healthy things and maybe cutting out carbs for a week or two.

It certainly doesn’t take over my life, but being healthy and keeping fit are big parts of my lifestyle. I think that mindset is important. By following your list it would seem miserable and therefore not effective

There are three considerably fat women who work in the small goods out office at work. I've heard two of them claim not to eat much but from observing them I know this just isn't true.

One regularly brings in custard creams/bourbons and literally eats the whole pack herself, dunking them in her tea. Maybe gives away a couple. The other brings in two six packs of donuts most Fridays and never eats less than three, often four.

Double pack of custard creams that is, like you get in Onestop.

Im slim-ish. I was thin but being 45 and 3 kids i have a mum tum. I usually weigh 8st 8lb, 5ft 1inch. Run/walk everyday, like a wine, beer. I eat when im hungry not when the clock tells me.

I have breakfast every day at around 7am - never skip it. Sandwich crisps and a fruit when my belly rumbles at 12. Then a biccy with tea when need a break in the afternoon. When i get home at 5-6 im not hungry. Every one else will eat but i might have cheese and crackers or cereal later on. If i am hungry ill have pasta, chilli, fish and chips etc.

And a huge amount of water through the day. Sometimes you think you’re hungry but infact you’re thirsty.

I'm one of them OP. I'm 5'5" and around 9 stone all my adult life. I'm now late forties and size 8/10. I don't snack. I eat breakfast. I cook all our meals from scratch. I exercise semi-regularly. Nowadays, I don't drink much alcohol, but I used to. I try and get 7 hours sober sleep. I walk dog hour every day. One thing I don't do: go hungry. I love my food but only at mealtimes. I would say the one thing is to get hungry twice a day. Empty your stomach before filling up.

I am 50years and pretty much the same weight as I was 30years ago.
I don't have a great sweet tooth but I do drink wine and eat (lots of) crisps.
I vaguely try to keep an eye on things but it fluctuates - I have a few days of eating too much then my trousers start to feel tight and I have a few days of reigning things in.
I have pretty much ditched carbs as they are boring and I don't miss them (except crisps).
Not ideal, not totally healthy but it works for me.
Exercise wise I have 2 boys 8 and 3 years and a dog so we're out and about most days. Would never, never enter a gym...

I have always had a healthy BMI. I'm running / eating a bit better than usual at the mo to try and lose a bit but I'm 22/23 BMI if left to my own devices.

I don't normally weigh myself that often, but know if I'm a bit fatter and will take action.
Tend not to have the cake/pudding. It just doesn't really appeal. I don't deny myself anything though.
Definitely have more than 1 glass of wine!
Eat when hungry which isn't always at set meal times. I just have what I fancy when I'm hungry.
Generally relatively active, out with the kids / horse / dogs.

And a huge amount of water through the day. Sometimes you think you’re hungry but infact you’re thirsty.

I think there is definitely something in this, especially when I am working, I will go from 8 to 1 without a drink, then think I am really hungry and eat more than I am comfortable with. Will have a go at drinking a lot of water first and seeing how I feel then.