AIBU to think the wording in this high school transition book isn't great?

[Whatswiththesmalltalk]

Dd recieved a transition booklet to look through, I'm assuming most kids transitioning to high school recieved these. The part that bothered me in particular was the are you an average or an awesome kid? It listed attributes of average kids such as not putting your hand up. I get the idea behind it but I don't understand the need for labelling kids who feel uneasy raising their hand or lacking in confidence as average. Surely that will only do the opposite of what was intended. I've attatched an image.

Well, I didn't put my hand up at school because I was being abused at home and was scared to speak to anyone and believed I was worthless and useless.

So reading that would have compounded my problems.

There is not enough questioning of why a child is scared to look foolish, or unmotivated, etc etc. Making kids feel shit and ashamed is not good teaching or parenting. It's lazy and ignorant.

Well DD2 would be 'kid invisible'. She's so shy that a teacher asking her class to do Google Meet gave her stomach cramps and nausea, and she was physically shaking. It rendered her utterly incapable of learning for the whole day, before and after the Google Meet. She couldn't even tell me what 1+3 was.

Ok, so she has a problem (it might be part of her ASD) but she won't be the only one.

user1456324865563 I agree completely, it would be highly damaging to children already in those vulnerable situations. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I get that there is well-intentioned growth mindset stuff behind it, but I think it is very clumsily worded and, frankly, comes across as a bit mean. The way it is worded makes it sound as if you are either stuck as one or the other, which is completely contrary to the whole principle.

I'm actually pretty annoyed with the way growth mindset is being pushed in schools. I don't doubt in any way that it is correct - it is pretty self evident that people who are resilient, flexible and persistent are more successful. But I have a real issue with the implication that 'fixing' your mindset is somehow easier than making yourself good at sports, or maths. Its as if some schools think all they have to do it point out to students that they should be more resilient, for them to become so. I have yet to see any real commitment to an evidence-based programme that makes a real difference to children who do not naturally have these attributes. Right now it just seems like another way of making some kids feel shit, to be honest. Its just a different set of kids.

(Said with feeling as the mother of one DC who does not have a growth mindset, and for who it seems as much a part of him as any of his other innate traits and abilities, good and bad).

ooh i don't like that! Some kids could do all the traits of "awesome" and will still only get average results. Or some might be shy but naturally intelligent and still get awesome results.

I think it's a pile of wank. Ex secondary teacher.

Fundamentally what's wrong with it is that there's nothing wrong with being 'average'. By the definition of 'average' most people are average. If everyone were (to use their term) 'awesome' then 'awesome' would be the average. This, for starters.

The negative impact on anyone shy, or reluctant to stick their hand up & draw attention to themselves as a result of not being NT.

The fact that it's based on the most basic, fundamentally wrong interpretation of growth mindset, which is basically "if you can't do it, it's because you're not trying hard enough, anyone can succeed at anything if they just have the right attitude". Bollocks. No awareness of innate talent, resources, and luck. Just "try harder!".

This shit drives me mad. So glad I'm not a teacher anymore!

@user1456324865563 that was exactly what I was thinking, what if you don't put your hand up because you feel fearful you are not good enough because you are living in an invalidating environment. Would be great to get this to reinforce your low self worth.

Sorry you had to go through that.

I was a child who constantly raised my hand and loved doing so as I was a complete know it all. I wasn't awesome, I was annoying and pretty overbearing..

It's also shit the 'kid awesome' picture is showing someone excelling at sports and 'kid average' is sat behind a pile of books.

What's the message there!

Leaving aside the average vs awesome, it's very judgemental. It's a summary of some positive and negative behaviours, so, okay. But there's none of the thought behind them, nothing about how it's normal to have fears and brave to overcome them. It's far too much of a summary without context. Quite apart from not recognising that kids are different and for some putting their hand up is a big deal.

I might use it as a starting point for discussion with the child. Do they agree with it? What are the reasons behind the points in it? What isn't good?

I like the How to Be Awesome book - but you need to read it as a complete book.

I think that slide is shit - it’s just not fair to lump in lazy with scared. I’d be giving feedback on that.

As an introvert that gives me horrors.

The transition co-ordinator in my school is an ambitious, back-stabbing, arse-licking idiot who is inappropriate for the role on many levels.

This is the kind of BS she would send out.

My advice is to ignore.

I am SLT btw.

I'd be Kid Rock. Or Kid Jensen.

I think it's the most stomach-churning pile of wank I've read lately. And I speak as someone who thumbed through a Tony Robbins book in her local 'phone box' lending library the other day.

Survivor12345

Given that most of this 'academic' drivel is driven by SLT admitting that you are one is probably not a good thing.

I agree OP, it's awful. As a child I was constantly told (as were my parents at parents evenings) that I needed to raise my hand more and participate more in class. I knew all the answers, I didn't want to draw attention to myself or risk being bullied for showing off. It was hard enough being the swotty kid who knew everything.

My 8 year old is already getting the same comments from teachers. He's super smart but just shy. It's just his personality, putting his hand up more won't help him.

It's shitty to make kids feel inadequate for pointless stuff like this. Plus I hate the message that average isn't good enough. A few posters here clearly don't understand what average means

To be fair, this is the sector that wants all schools to be "outstanding" so clearly a firm grasp on the meaning of words isn't a strong point.

@Sportsnight

As an introvert that gives me horrors.

Me too.

Chuck the bloody thing in the bin where it belongs.

Glad to see so many people agreeing.

The misuse of the word average is a kick in the teeth for anyone who understands basic maths. Which is funny but also basic- this is a thing for children in schools. Get it right FFS!

Also in the workplace there is room for all personality types. I read a thing which said that 'lazy' people are innovators as rather than going along with what's in place they look for ways to make things quicker and easier. I fall into this category- I have had s great career. I don't like wasting time and hate to see other people struggling with overly completed inefficient protocols etc.

Yeah it's shit.

I was kid average so bad ☹️

Jesus, if my distinctively below average child had got that in his transition pack I don't think he'd have made it through the school gates.

(He's actually totally fucking awesome, but he has ASD and that first list is actually aspirational for him.)

Jesus, if my distinctively below average child had got that in his transition pack I don't think he'd have made it through the school gates.

(He's actually totally fucking awesome, but he has ASD and that first list is actually aspirational for him.)

I’m all for fostering a growth mindset, but that page is a blunder.

The question at the end- Are you kid average or kid awesome? is incredibly tactless and not appropriate.

The traits described for ‘kid average’ could fit a children who are not NT, have low self esteem, mental health difficulties, social anxiety and so on.

I’d be concerned about the school’s approach to safeguarding. Everything on that list is also a behavioural indicator of abuse.

The thing that really bothers me is that, to coin a phrase, it takes all sorts to make a world.

The fact that the current corporate scene favours extroverts and has done for some time is not a good thing.

Where is the idea that everyone has value? Their own skills etc?

An antidote might be to look up some people in history who did not confirm to the 'awesome' list. Scientists, authors, politicians. All across the board.

It's late so not thinking well. Churchill eg was an alcoholic and a bastard to many.

Um loads. Prince was really shy! Etc etc

This list is shit.