Handhold needed - embarrassing workplace stories

[Weston14]

So I slept in for work.

Not just by a bit. By about 4 hours. I have absolutely no idea what happened I just completely slept through my alarm. Colleagues thought I'd died. Woke up to a load of missed calls. I. Am. Mortified. Boss is (understandably) livid.

Regale me please with your embarrassing workplace stories to make me feel better

Not as good as some of these, but...

While heavily pregnant with my first child, I was suffering from a bad back and it was recommended to me to swap my office chair with one of those giant gym balls. One day, I'd gone to get something printed and sat back down on the ball to work, but I completely misjudged the landing and sort of bounced off the back, ricocheting onto my line manager who let out a loud shriek

I was fine. But it must have been a quiet day as everyone AND I MEAN EVERYONE in the vicinity (roughly 15 people) scrabbled to my cubicle to see what had happened - my line manager was very anxious that I'd somehow harmed myself and the baby, and wouldn't let me up. So all I could do was lie there like a beached whale while a few people very earnestly discussed what do with me. Repeatedly shouting I'M FINE, I'M BLOODY FINE had no effect They did eventually let me up. I was told I had to sit in a proper chair from then on

I missed my last day at one job as I was so hung over from my leaving do. They had decorated my desk and sorted a big leaving presentation and I couldn't get out of bed!

I thankfully did do this, but I did witness it.

Bunch of us walking down the stairs after a meeting. Colleague was wearing extremely tight skirt and high heels she could hardly walk in. She fell, reached out to stop herself and grabbed our senior manager by the balls, taking him with her. She went head first into the fire alarm, he grabbed at some control panel thing which set off the sprinklers. Her skirt had ripped as she fell and when she tried to stand up it fell off, just as half the office began pouring into the stairwell because the fire alarm was blaring. Everyone was soaked and both of them ended up carted off to hospital.

Our manager could not stand up straight the next day. My colleague never wore high heels or a tight skirt again. They were both good humoured about it afterwards, though jokes were always made whenever there was a fire drill.

Oops, I meant I didn’t do this!

I did similar as the op, was due to start work at 7.30am, I woke up thinking 'oh good, I've woke before my alarm' looked at the clock and it said 9.58

All I could do was tell the truth. My boss thought it was hilarious thankfully

Not me but a colleague after an office party rang in at 9.30 to say he'd slept in, was very apologetic would be in ASAP.

HE FELL BACK ASLEEP! Woke up at 2pm, called again and eventually arrived around 3. 6 hours late 😬

I was new to a job in a meeting full of more senior people and I had a squishy water bottle, was nervously playing with it and squeezed the bottle while looking at the top where the water comes out. The water sprayed up and all in my face. I still have no idea really how it happened but cringe at the memory.

Like others I've had a conversation with a concerned manager asking if I was ok, to then realise I should be in work and not at home. In my defence it was an unusual shift for me to do and, unusually, she hadn't confirmed it with me verbally as she always had done previously, relying on an online shift app she'd just set up. I was also heavily pregnant with things on my mind. On the other hand said app had told me I had a shift due not long after I woke up, but it obviously didn't penetrate my mind! 🤣

My mum got locked in her porch one Sunday. Unusually for her she hadn't unlocked the outer door when she unlocked the inner (usually as soon as she got downstairs), nor did she remember to take the keys out the inner door before stepping into the porch and shutting it behind her. Her neighbour thought she was being VERY friendly waving at her for ages before twigging something was up. It took a call to her church to get her spare keys of a friend to release her, then another friend's young son scaling a ladder and climbing in through a small window for her to be able to get back inside!

Oh I did this yesterday too (by 2 hours), don't worry! My boss wasn't bothered luckily, but I got the icy-cold-stomach-of-fear feeling when I woke up and realised it was definitely not 7.30am.

When I was younger I had 2 jobs, one in a bar. I stayed for a lock-in in the bar one night, got shitfaced, and made it to second job in an office with minutes to spare th next day, still clearly drunk. I must have looked a mess but was hiding the cause very well because everyone commented how poorly I looked and my boss got her husband (who sometimes worked there) to come and take me to the walk-in centre. I have never sat so still trying not to breathe vodka fumes at this lovely man who was driving me to see a doctor... he dropped me off, I hid inside the walk-in for a bit then got a taxi home, but I got my comeuppance because for whatever reason the severe hangover morphed into gastroenteritis and when I had to also call in sick to the bar that night, I got a bollocking for being hungover and I was like "No I really am ill!" and he just said "I saw you dancing on the tables in the bar at 4am, you are not fucking ill".

How I didn't get fired from either job is beyond me!

Work at a place that has regular boozy sales conferences, bonding and all that. Often abroad so all the staff are together for a week in a hotel doing meetings daytime then dinner/drinks etc each night sometimes to the early hours. So...

There was the manager who got hammered at the awards dinner and for a laugh dove into the swimming pool at the hotel afterwards - to find it had been drained over night and there was just a bit of water in. Cracked his head open and ended up in the local hospital.

The married manager and his assistant whose affair came out when they decided to have a massive couples row in the MIDDLE of the dance floor at the Xmas party. No-one had known up til then.

The overconfident young new guy who found himself chatting with the CEO in the bar and didn’t realise who he was - so when CEO asked what he thought of the company - told him exactly what he thought was wrong with everything and how it should really be.
Luckily CEO had a decent sense of humour. Young guy was talking out of his arse. Took him a while for us to let him forget that one.

The usually very sensible manager who got twatted at a party with us all there, keep flashing her breasts and propositioning people on the dance floor. Friends intervened but it was a job getting her to bed as she REALLY didn’t want to go. She was mortified the next day.

The senior manager who got tipsy at dinner, announced to her table that she really fancied one of her staff, both married, he was quite a bit younger. He went to bed as he was presenting the next morning and she kept drunk dialling his room for what she said was a ‘booty call’ - took a while to wrestle her up to her room too...

Could go on there are loads.
People are mostly well behaved, and this is a professional company too but take people away from home and chuck loads of free booze at them and it happens...

One of mine from when I was younger, first ‘proper’ job. Went with manager to see a biggish client and take them to lunch. Lunch was at the kind of posh restaurant in London that I couldn’t afford then and barely can now.
Anyway, I’m on best behaviour and hold door open for mgr and clients and after they go through I follow - it’s an underground type place so steep stairs from street and then all cosy inside. I trip as I come through the door, and go flying down stairs, head over heels nearly taking everyone with me. Luckily my yelp alerted mgr and she and clients threw themselves back against the rails and tried to grab me but I was moving too fast. I crash landed at the bottom of the stairs in front of an astonished greeter who opened the bottom
Door.
Absolutely mortified! But I was young and bounced basically, I then had to sit through lunch reliving every tumble in my head.
Took a while to live that one down, I was famous at the clients company after that, but at least they all knew who I was I suppose when I took over the account ...

Fire drill outside a large office block, in July, biggest summer cloud burst ever and massive fat rain plopping down. We were not allowed to go back in for coats & jackets.
The outcome of this was my lovely pale pink shell top went see through in about 20 seconds. Looked drive a drowned rat in a see through top and had to cover up in my coat until I dried off (once finally back in the building). Which took bloody hours.
Thankfully everyone did the British thing, completely ignored what had happened and it was never mentioned.

Not sure whether to be grateful or sad that I wouldn't be missed for 4 hours unless there was an important meeting.

Yeah, my lot come and go all the time with flex working so not sure anyone would really be missed for a few hours unless they were supposed to be at a big meeting. It certainly wouldn’t raise alarms the way some of these have.

Haha some of these are so funny, but mortifying too.

Mine is quite tame in comparison.

I was about 19 at the time, working as an apprentice in a very male dominated environment. I was always invited out to team drinks, work do's etc but I was quite shy back then so always made excuses.

Until one time when my boss said I could bring a friend. Well that was it...!
We hit the corporate credit card hard, drunk our body weights in Bacardi. Neither of us had eaten so when food was ordered we literally shovelled down our own then proceeded to nick food of everyone else's plates.

Me and my friend got kicked out of the bar we were in for being too drunk. A couple of colleagues made sure we got in a cab home safely though.

When I had my next team meeting, all the guys started cheering when I walked in

It was embarrassing at the time, but worked out ok as I wasn't quite so shy after that and had some great nights out after with them all (minus my friend).

We've all done it. Woke up at 12pm once and nearly had a heart attack.

Have also missed my stop on the train and ended up in Greenwich before - I work in C London 😂

I took an afternoon off work to run errands in town and my manager asked me to do an errand for him too, he was texting me about the errand and I was answering him at the same time as texting DP who had been working away but was due back.
I sent my manager a text meant for DP re "date night" and what was going to happen to him, I actually used the phrase "sexy time" cringe.
Manager rang me and said he hoped that text wasnt for him as he was actually scared 😂 luckily he was laughing, me on the other hand, I nearly died of embarrassment

Very tame compared to all these, but I'd lost a bit of weight & could put my slightly stretchy trousers on without undoing the zip. Got dressed in a hurry & didn't notice until someone in the office pointed out to me at lunchtime that they were inside out, pockets & seams all very much visible.
Also have 2 pairs of shoes in same style, bit different colours. Wore a shoe from each different pair to the same office a couple of months later....

Many years ago, my boss and I were discussing something at work, standing at an empty desk. He was on my left at the narrow end and I was next to him but at the wide side. I had a large binder of paperwork in front of me. I had to open it to show him some documentation and as I did, my left hand that I was opening the binder with, brushed all down his front and over his flies!!!
I really didn't know what to do with myself...
Stupidly I said 'I am so sorry about touching your anatomy'!!!
Your anatomy?????? FFS!!!

Have had the opposite of this though - called in sick to the bar I worked at. He insisted I come in 'even with a hangover'. Got there, worked for a bit ashen faced. Fell unconscious. Got back up and carried on working. Got home, fell into a fever so bad DP had to call a doctor to come do a house call on a Sunday.

I had strep throat. That week many regulars also got strep throat.

Boss was very embarrassed and gave me two weeks off.

@CorianderLord that was entirely your fault for being hungover surely.

@IamMaz

@namechangenumber204

When I was younger I suffered with horrendous periods and I was on one day, wearing my normal nappies heavy duty pads, but still managed to leak everywhere - and I was sitting on my bosses chair. When I got up it looked like the chainsaw massacre had just taken place. He wasn't in but however much I scrubbed to get it clean nothing worked and I had to confess the following day. He was so kind, way more concerned for me than his blood soaked chair. I had a hysterectomy a few months later... jeez that was mortifying though...

Nightmare, you poor thing. Glad your boss was sympathetic. In January of this year, I'd had a heavy period for about two weeks but dealt with it at work (JUST ABOUT) going to the toilet every 15 minutes! When I got home, I FLOODED. I literally shudder when I think that that could have happened at work. I'm taking a back to back pill now. No need for contraception at my age but thankfully I can go to work without this awful worry.