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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Face masks. To feel that we have all been through enough....

999 replies

NiknicK · 14/07/2020 04:40

And shouldn’t have to wear face masks if we don’t want to. I know it’s not officially been confirmed yet, but it’s expected to be today, and I don’t get it. If face masks truly help prevent the spreading of the virus, then why on earth wasn’t it made compulsory at the beginning of this pandemic, why now? I know you’ll all likely call me selfish but I can’t do it. I have to wear a mask for ten minutes once or twice month to collect mine and dh’s medication and I find it unbearable even for that small amount of time. They make my face itch and make me want to touch my face more, I can’t breathe properly and get panicky, they slide up as they’re too big for my face and hit my eye lids. My ds is autistic and I suspect I have some traits eg sensory issues, and the thought of having to wear these masks when I find shopping stressful enough as it is, fills me with dread. AIBU?

OP posts:
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heartsonacake · 14/07/2020 08:53

Yep, YABU. We all have to do things we don’t like.

If you really can’t stand it, guess you’ll have to shop online.

Roussette · 14/07/2020 08:53

You have no right to other people’s medical info

I have no desire to know anyone's medical info. I do want to know though that the shop is doing it's best to implement it.

Otherwise, we'll just have a load of people saying 'I don't like masks, I'm not wearing one'.
(This does not include medical reasons of course)

Brefugee · 14/07/2020 08:54

interesting post from hamstersarse from the WHO info

People can potentially infect themselves if they use contaminated hands to adjust a mask, or to repeatedly take it off and put it on, without cleaning hands in between.

Not great!

to which i say: people have been told repeatedly to wash/sanitise their hands frequently. If they don't listen and are maybe infected then i'd prefer they wear a mask even incorrectly. They're not breathing their germs on me if they do.

Masks can also create a false sense of security, leading people to neglect measures such as hand hygiene and physical distancing.

Can see that happening already. Washing hands has been dropped from messages for months.

How do you need to keep being told to wash your flipping hands? Masks are a great reminder that there is something wrong. And in the UK the govt said reduce SD to 1m with masks and keep 2m without masks. It's not rocket science.

I cannot say this clearly enough: masks alone will not protect you from COVID-19.

Yet many here seem to think they are some magical way to eliminate the virus

I haven't seen ANYONE say that masks are the silver bullet. They are clearly one of several measures which are relatively easy to implement. (i worked with Koreans during SARS - masks and track & trace were the key points with that one)

Masks are not a replacement for physical distancing, hand hygiene and other public health measures.

I just get the vibe that people think they are! The whole “you selfish bastard if you don’t force yourself to wear one even though you have autism” stinks of latching onto masks as being the thing to beat people with

They are one of a raft of measures. People are selfish if they say things like "meh, I've done enough already". Clearly we, collectively, still have a way to go. Like many PP i live in a country where some mask wearing is compulsory. I'm assuming that there are no autistic or asthmatic people live here, or that they're not going out, because i very rarely see anyone without one.

Masks are only of benefit as part of a comprehensive approach in the fight against COVID-19.

Their contribution is minor so no need for all the vitriol against people who can’t wear them.

The benefit isn't actually that minor (depending on which studies you look at, droplet transmission is reduced in quantity and distance. I'll take that as a win. 3 layer closely woven cloth masks seem to come out well.

The cornerstone of the response in every country must be to find, isolate, test and care for every case, and to trace and quarantine every contact

This is what works, not some shitty mask you’ve bought on eBay and had your hands on all day.
That is what we know works. That is every country’s best defense against COVID-19.
Not masks.

What works is a combination of things. All of which the UK goverment only did when it was too late (compared to other countries who got this under control quicker). They have displayed astonishing arrogance and incompetence. You say you need track and trace? How many more threads and tweets do we need with "I'm not giving my hairdresser/barstaff/shop staff my details"? clearly the UK public has a way to go.

I keep seeing all this tosh about Blitz spirit. Well during the blitz people who didn't use shelters died. People who didn't use blackout curtains were fined, shamed (back when public shaming really was effective) and so on. Hopefully masks are the temporary new normal.

merrymouse · 14/07/2020 08:54

I can’t wear one as I suffer from extreme claustrophobia due to a traumatic event in my past. I have a panic attack if anything goes on my face.

Shop staff won't be asked to enforce the law. I agree things haven't been made completely clear yet, but its I think its likely that the policy will be similar to the one used on public transport:

tfl.gov.uk/campaign/face-coverings

I don't think anyone will be asking for an exemption card before you enter a shop, but it is accepted that some people can't wear masks, and extreme distress is an acceptable reason for not wearing a mask.

JinglingHellsBells · 14/07/2020 08:56

Not going supermarket shopping is unavoidable - we all have to eat.

@SockYarn Have you heard of online shopping? Why don't you use it?

The fuss on here is amazing. Muzzles - yes , great idea! some people should be muzzled all the time to stop them spouting crap.

If you are in a supermarket, you can be in and out in 20-30 minutes max. Or you can shop online. Delivery slots are easier now.

Is it too awful to wear a face covering for 20 minutes?

You don't even have to wear a mask @NiknicK You can use a soft scarf, a square one, and tie it so it covers your nose and mouth.
or make you own mask from an old T shirt and adjust the tapes so it fits.

Roussette · 14/07/2020 08:57

Which requires the shop worker to ask about their personal data (even though they aren’t entitled to it either) and then confirm it with you

Where have I said they have to confirm it with me? You're making up stuff.
I want to know the shop is doing it's best to implement it. Otherwise why do I have to wear a mask, I hate it, I do it for others and when I shop I would like to think the the big majority of people wear masks unless there is a medical reason meaning they can't.

Maybe, rather than going around policing everyone else, you should just worry about what you’re doing and leave others alone

Thanks for that Hmm

Bladeofgrass · 14/07/2020 08:57

BelleSausage,
Unhooking it necessitates touching it. From what I've read, that negates its efficiency, puts you at risk of spreading the virus to your hands and on to other surfaces, and allows any virus that has been trapped inside the mask to escape, so its pointless having one in the first place.
Not that I've tried it, so I'll have to give it a go, but I'm not sure how practical it would be.

And I have no diagnosed hearing loss, but as I'm getting older I do struggle more and more to hear people without seeing their faces properly. I often need subtitles on tv, and have to ask people to repeat themselves and look at me for me to hear.

besensiblepeople · 14/07/2020 08:58

their glasses steam up for the people saying this, the medical ones which you can get very cheaply on amazon at the moment (£8 for 50) have metal clips which fasten over nose, your glasses go on top, they don't steam up. I have been wearing both masks and glasses for months.

Because, like others on this thread, I want to reduce chances of anyone getting a horrendous disease and doing this for a few months is NOT a big deal.

Porcupineinwaiting · 14/07/2020 08:59

@Bladeofgrass you may find that, with worries with the virus and all, other random shoppers dont want engage you in conversation. And shop staff dont have to wear face coverings- another good reason for us to do so.

Standardy · 14/07/2020 08:59

Unhooking it necessitates touching it. From what I've read, that negates its efficiency, puts you at risk of spreading the virus to your hands and on to other surfaces, and allows any virus that has been trapped inside the mask to escape, so its pointless having one in the first place.

You unhook via the straps which haven't been around your mouth and nose. Droplets don't fly off when you open it, how on earth is using one but in very select circumstances removing it better than not wearing one?

Butchyrestingface · 14/07/2020 08:59

I have no desire to know anyone's medical info. I do want to know though that the shop is doing it's best to implement it.

You also stated you will be asking the stores why so-and-so is not wearing a mask. So that implies you DO want to have medical information.

Or you want staff members to stomp off and ask them. And then come back and tell you the person is medically exempt.

At the moment, nobody is obliged to carry a medical exemption card. That may change, but for the moment, demanding explanations from staff in shops isn’t going to get you very far and will only create additional stress for them.

HUCKMUCK · 14/07/2020 09:00

@NiknicK

I get what you’re saying but is no one else fed up of constantly being told what to do. I’m someone who has stuck to the rules 100% throughout and I only say that to demonstrate that I’m not simply chucking my toys out of the pram for being told what to do, I genuinely am dreading this. I go to the supermarket at least three times a week, which I know is a lot to some, but there are reasons for this, and i can’t bare the thought of wearing a mask.
But we're all told what to do all the time about all sorts of things - wearing a seat belt, not drinking on the streets in certain towns, pick up your dog poo.

It's all about doing as much as possible to keep people safe. I do get your discomfort physically but not making things mandatory would mean they just wouldn't happen in the main.

I think the problem is, when this first started, a lot of people thought about 'when things go back to normal' but I don't think there is going to be a complete back to normal - just a new normal so we'll all have to adapt in lots of ways.

SoupDragon · 14/07/2020 09:00

Furthermore, I volunteer in a charity shop...

You shouldn't be doing that if you refuse to wear a mask.

Unescorted · 14/07/2020 09:01

besensiblepeople yep my DD can manage to wear a mask despite being asthmatic too. If she is having a gasp she leaves the shop and moves to an area to remove her mask. Or if she is having a wheezy day she avoids the shops at all. What she hasn't done is moan about the imposition because she is a considerate human being.

Quarantimespringclean · 14/07/2020 09:01

Incidentally I am deaf. I wear hearing aids and also rely on lip reading, so find people wearing masks very hard to hear which had lead to some misunderstandings on the few occasions I have left the house recently. I find it perfectly possible to wear my aids and a pair of sunglasses and a mask (my sticky out ears are finally useful!) and my temporarily limited hearing is a small price to pay for limiting the spread of this virus.

JinglingHellsBells · 14/07/2020 09:02

Can we just hold on and accept it's a face covering NOT a mask.

You can use a scarf, or you can wear a soft cotton covering.

Gap are selling 3 cotton masks for £12.99 washable.

You can make your own face coverings - loads of instructions online- using pure silk if you want something soft!

No excuses .

Butchyrestingface · 14/07/2020 09:03

BBC news this morning says:

While shop workers will be encouraged to prompt customers to comply, they will not be expected to enforce the rules, allaying unions' concerns about their involvement

So there you go. Shop staff will not be required to enforce the rules.

I wonder what form the “prompting” will take? It may be something as unobtrusive as signage (the current MO in Scotland).

SockYarn · 14/07/2020 09:03

You shouldn't be doing that if you refuse to wear a mask.

If I am in the back shop, socially distanced from colleagues i do not need to wear a mask.

If I am on the till, behind my little perspex wall, I do not need to wear a mask.

besensiblepeople · 14/07/2020 09:04

@rosehip10 you say people wear it just over mouths so you think there is no point. Actually, this is better than nothing, but hopefully as word gets round people will move the masks up over their noses too.

To the posters will problems of hearing, I do too, haven't found it a problem so far, but if it is a problem as a one off then you can use discretion to deal with it at the time, there will still be benefit from you using the mask at all other times.

Roussette · 14/07/2020 09:04

You also stated you will be asking the stores why so-and-so is not wearing a mask. So that implies you DO want to have medical information

Or you want staff members to stomp off and ask them. And then come back and tell you the person is medically exempt
You are nitpicking. I think you can tell from my posts that I just want to know that the shop is doing it's best to implement this and I have said more than once that I do not want to know anyone's medical history.
I worded the first time I spoke of this, wrongly and you have latched on to it.

I apologise for not putting my first sentence right and misleading you.

Billben · 14/07/2020 09:04

Face mask. To feel that we have all been through enough

Can you get any more pathetic? Unless you have contracted the virus yourself and luckily got through it, no, you have not been through enough.

bodgeitandscarper · 14/07/2020 09:05

Good post Brefugee.

Yellownotblue · 14/07/2020 09:06

@Quarantimespringclean

Incidentally I am deaf. I wear hearing aids and also rely on lip reading, so find people wearing masks very hard to hear which had lead to some misunderstandings on the few occasions I have left the house recently. I find it perfectly possible to wear my aids and a pair of sunglasses and a mask (my sticky out ears are finally useful!) and my temporarily limited hearing is a small price to pay for limiting the spread of this virus.
💐

It’s heartening to read stories of people who actually understand what it means to be part of a society.

southeastdweller · 14/07/2020 09:07

How the hell will this be enforced, realistically? There's not enough police to do it and shop workers won't want the hassle. In the large city where I live roughly half of the people I see on the buses I travel on every day don't wear them and bus drivers never challenge them so it'll just be the same for shops.

Roussette · 14/07/2020 09:07

It’s heartening to read stories of people who actually understand what it means to be part of a society

Yes yes yes to this.