To not want DC to call teachers by their first name

[Eastie77]

Just that really. It's a new rule that will be introduced in their school next term. I suppose I'm a bit old fashioned but I think calling a teacher Ms/Mr x or Sir/Miss is part of school life. I'm actually feeling a bit sad about it. I suppose I'm just behind the times and am BU

At dd's school teachers are referred to by their Christian names, there appears to be no lack of respect as a result. At dd's primary some staff chose to use Christian names. I only struggled when teachers referred to other staff by their Christian names as I found it difficult to quickly tally Chris with Mr Smith.

My DS went to a lovely Montessori school where all the teachers were known by their first names. The idea was that respect goes 2 ways. They were the most well rounded confident respectful children I’ve ever come across.

Yeah I don't see the big deal. I'm a teacher and all the kids I teach know my first name (I tell them if they ask) but they call my Ms!When I was in secondary school we called the teachers by first name...and that was a private school.

Teachers and pupils are not and should not be on equal footing. But that doesn't mean using first names is necessarily wrong or disrespectful. It's just a convention to use Miss/Sir etc. The fact that some people are saying it's 'sad' rather than wrong implies that maybe they are objecting more out of nostalgia for their own school days rather than on principle.

I've been a teacher for over 20 years and I'm used to being 'Mrs Lazylinguist', but if I taught in a school where first names were the norm, I wouldn't particularly mind. I think it's one of the things (like uniform) which people falsely associate with good behaviour and high achievement.

gotothecooler - no, randomly a different poster seems to have opened another thread about not minding the fact children call her by her first name at the same time as me. Haven't read it but seems to be a different situation

Musmerian - I'm not really prejudiced. Just have an opinion which it seems is at odds with most people on here although I see a few people understand what I mean.

I have no idea why a 5 year old has to be on an equal footing with a teacher. However it seems that this along with ideas such as consulting small children on all manner of decisions, never allowing them to experience disappointment (at DD's school all participants at Sports Day get a medal - it is unfair to only give it to the top 3) etc is the child reaaring model of choice these days. We are developing children who lack resiliance and feel their voice "must be heard" which I understand many people feel is a good thing.

If teachers think it's lovely to be called by their first name then that is fine. Horses for courses. The teachers DD's school call parents "mum" or "dad" which drives some parents loopy but doesn't bother me at all.

It would make a change from my kids' secondary where every adult is simple called Sir or Miss and I haven't a clue which Sir or Miss they are talking about most of the time.

In our SEN school all staff (from TA’s to Head) are called by their first names

We often have staff visiting from mainstream schools comment on this saying they wished it was the same at their schools - so maybe the head is actually embracing what his/her staff would like?

That said it’s definitely not for everyone, I’ve done plenty of Inclusion placements where the teachers there have point blank refused to allow their pupils to call me by my first name and insisted it was “Mrs Skeletons”

I’ve taught in schools that did both - secondary in my case.

Neither particularly affected the respect children showed me, but I think for the younger NQTs/student teachers who were sometimes only 5/6 years older than the Y11s it felt a bit “matey” in the school where first names were the thing. It’s really important for younger teachers to keep firm boundaries and that perhaps made it more difficult.

It was funny watching students I’d taught from Y7 as “MsEachDay” try and suddenly call me “Smile” though - lots of them were just “argh, it’s embarrassing” and just called me “Miss”. A few went the whole hog and called me Ms Smile EachDay which was hilarious and made me feel like a Southern Belle 😂😂

I don't mind the respect bit so much but by the end of the day I am sick of hearing 'miiiiiiiiiisssss'

I don't think that I fancy hearing 'ouuuuucchh' and then having to go home and continue hearing it.

My dd's old school used first names for everyone, including the Principal. Certainly no lack of respect there!

I'd much rather the respect was earned by the individual, not given to a title.

I really struggle calling teachers by their first name as a parent! The headteacher signs emails to me "Deb" (not her real name but an example of the abbreviation of her full name that she uses) and I reply with "Dear Mrs Smith...". I'm a bloody governor and it still makes me cringe calling her Deb! I even call the caretaker "Mr Jones". So kids using teachers first names just freaks me out a bit. I had a REALLY strict and authoritarian headmaster in both primary and secondary though, maybe that's why.

I can just about bring myself to call the DC's teachers Jim and Sue but there is no way I can call her HT by anything other than Mr X, just too weird. I have a feeling this has been foisted on him. He is a real traditionalist and I I can't believe he actually wants 4 years to address him by his christian name. I also think it will be very strange for the older children who have already spent 4/5/6 years calling their teacher Sir & Miss to suddenly switch to first names.

At my children’s school the teachers choose whether to be called by their first name or surname. There’s about a 50/50 split. I think what it has taught my kids is to listen to what the teachers ask to be called and respect it. I can quite see how odd it would be for a school to change its practice over the course of a summer holiday and I suspect it may take a while to catch on! But I would definitely say that what a teacher is called makes no difference to the level of respect afforded them - and my kids don’t even notice which are called Mrs. Whatever and which are called Tom. I, however, get it wrong all the time 😬

DD was born in Spain and pretty much all her primary education was completed there and it is perfectly normal for teachers to be called by their first name or "profe" which is a shortened form of the Spanish for teacher. When she came here it was strange for her to go from calling her teachers Marisol/Sergio to Mrs Smith/Mr Jones but her attitude and respect for her teachers didn't change at all.

I also taught at my DDs school and had no issues with my students using my first name or profe, especially with the smaller children, they respected me just by me being an adult and a teacher, whether they called me Mel or Mrs J1213 made no difference whatsoever.

I wonder if teachers are all happy to use their real first names. DB is a teacher and he uses a different name on social media to prevent his students finding him. He was advised by the school to do this and the choice was change his name at school (use a middle name) or change it on SM.

Pupils usually know the teachers' real names anyway. It's not difficult to find out - often official letters from school have them on, or pupils overhear teachers calling each other by their first names. It's not really a secret tbh.

DS has been at an ultra-trad, uniform wearing, formal CofE school and a secular, mildly hippy, no-uniform school where all teachers, including he Head, are addressed by their first names. I’ve noticed no difference in discipline.

NBU at all. Ridiculous to call them by their first name.

I'm a teacher and have worked at schools that use first names for all staff as well as those that go for title and last name. I prefer my first name to be used but don't mind being Mrs SE13. I detest being called 'Miss' as that feels lazy; I wouldn't dream of referring to a child as 'Boy' and don't feel it's unreasonable to have my name used.

Long before I started teaching, I was shown round a school by the headteacher. He was known by his first name and it was the first time I'd come across that so I asked him about it. He said it was for a couple of reasons. The first was that he hadn't been knighted and didn't want to be put on the pedestal of being a 'sir'. He wanted pupils to know that headteachers were people, just like them. Not a different species and not something that was out of reach of the children at his inner London primary school. He also felt that female staff being called 'Miss' whilst the males were 'Sir' was the wrong message to be sending to pupils. The other main reason was that he found it improved parents' openness with him; he would introduce himself as Tom (not his name) and in return, parents would give the name they wanted him to use. It simplified things and made parents and teachers more similar.

As others have said, if a teacher doesn't feel respected unless the children are in uniform and adults have titles, their practice needs revisiting. I'm happy for my real name to be used and can't imagine making one up to use to protect my identity. Sometimes I bump into pupils in the supermarket or at the park, I have taught children of my friends and go to the same church as others I've taught. How would having a fake name make any sense? I have my social media locked down appropriately but will not change my name at work or on there because my school tells me to.

I’m with you, op. In my daughters school, the teacher calls me Letty and I call her Ms Jones. She is probably 15 years younger than me. Ms a Jones wouldn’t mind if I called her Sarah, I’m sure, but for me it’s a respect thing. I also call doctors Dr Jones etc, even when they introduce themselves now as “I’m Sarah, one of the doctors”. For me it’s a respect thing.
I come from a country where teachers are hugely respected compared to the UK.

Easy to see why there’s a complete lack of discipline these days.

YANBU.

@hiredandsqueak

At dd's school teachers are referred to by their Christian names, there appears to be no lack of respect as a result. At dd's primary some staff chose to use Christian names. I only struggled when teachers referred to other staff by their Christian names as I found it difficult to quickly tally Chris with Mr Smith.

Can you stop using the term Christian name when you actually mean first name, please?

We always called the teachers nicknames - how we addressed them face to face did not represent our respect for them - it was fake. But I think teachers seem to like this anyway, it’s part of this weird fakery where it’s all pretend respect / particularly weird when they do it with parents - they always go down a notch with me when I get an email signed title surname! If you rely on a title for respect you don’t have sny!

I don't have strong feelings about first name or surname anymore. I used to, but have become used to all staff in (PVI) Nurseries being known by their first names and a whole lessening of formality in any healthcare situation, and any situation where someone rings you from a bank or insurance or any sort of sales call, so I don't mind the first name thing as much as I used to.
What Ido dislike is the sloppiness of calling all teachers 'Miss' or 'Sir'. As said above - I don't call you 'pupil' or 'girl / boy' , I expect pupils to learn teachers' names - be that formally or not, but have the respect to identify who is who.

Where I am from this has always been the standard.
So it sounds normal to me