AIBU - Child friendly kids menu...

[Blearymorningeyes]

Is there such a thing as a "child friendly" kids menu? Surely all kids menus are child friendly?!

I invited my SIL to my favourite Mexican restaurant for my birthday. She has 2 DC, ages 4 and 7.

I sent her the kids menu to look at, which has mini versions of Mexican fare such as fajitas, nachos and enchiladas, plus some "plainer" things too, such as chicken breast with mash. She just messaged me saying "Hi Bleary, can we please choose a different restaurant, because the kids menu doesn't really look very child friendly?". I feel sad as I and was so looking forward to going to this particular restaurant for my birthday and I don't see why her kids wouldn't like at least one thing on the menu - it's pretty standard, isn't it?! By "child friendly" does that translate to "It doesn't have sausages/fish fingers and chips"?

AIBU in thinking that my birthday restaurant choice shouldn't be changed because of this?

I hate confrontation... Help!

It’s interesting and brave to come onto a parenting forum when you aren’t a parent

Newsflash. Non-parents are entitled to opinions too.

Personally I think it's nice of the OP to include her SIL's kids - she could easily have opted for an adults-only meal but didn't. Agree the SIL would be upset if she read the thread, but then again it doesn't seem to have occurred to her that not everything revolves around her children, and maybe it should have.

It depends on the child. My son only eats 10 items including his sweets crisp and biscuits. So we are very limited on where we can go as even the foods he eats must be exactly the same. However if its an issue I would either feed him first or decline the invite but never make someone change to suit him. Mind you only tend to eat out with family because of judgey comments and they all know his situation.

Can't she just feed them earlier and just get them a dessert at the restaurant? Either way if that's the place you want to go to, I wouldn't change it.

That's interesting about fussy eaters. I have a very fussy eater with very limited diet due to allergy. He loves anything fish, loves all the veg except aubergine. I was actually told by his dietitian, that my fussy eater eats way more healthier than most children.

I have really noticed as my children have got older that eating has replaced sleep as the 'thing' that everyone fixates on as a marker of whether they are a good parent, and therefore the thing that they lie about. I have lost count of the number of children who have come to our house for tea after I have asked about likes, dislikes, and allergies, to be breezily told 'Oh, they'll eat anything'.... they bloody well don't.

• You have to ask with parents of fussy eaters how they came to start eating Nutella on toast, fish fingers, waffles, Cheerios, frubes etc in the first place.

You must have given them that crap in the first place for them to think it was a food. If they had oy ever been fed fresh home cooked food from weaning they wouldn't know there was food like junk out there to prefer.*

DD was weaned on fresh home cooked food. She sometimes had jars, when out she had something from the kids menu ,but mostly "real" food. Then she just stopped eating fresh food and "crap" food alike.We had two weeks of just a bag of crisps and an ice cream.I had to reintroduce everything including toast. She was 3 and a half when she actually first ate a pancake, she hated them until then. The fact that she never felt hungry didn't help either.

She still doesn't eat any fast food unless it's nuggets or fish fingers. So no pizza,burgers,sausage rolls ,sandwiches etc.

And Malbecblooms, my extremely fussy eater never has eaten anything but my home cooking, due to his allergy from weaning days onward. It's more about textures and temp in my dc's case. Nothing to do with giving him tastier(salty/sugarly) shop bought stuff from early on so home made food was less tasty. Tbh, if you are lucky enough not to have a fussy eater, you would never understand, and easy for you to judge.

My son with arfid is currently only eating home made bread, home made mince pies, apples and salt and vinegar crisps.

One thing I know for sure is it wasn’t my reluctance to cook or prepare food that caused the issues! If only it was that simple

Tell her yo get the kids a happy meal on the way and they can sit with a bowl of nachos and a dessert.

I Love Mexican food and would happily sell my kids and come with you!

Malbecblooms yeah, because kids never go to parties, to group picnics or to eat at friends houses. Good luck with controlling your kids food 365 days a year once they're socialising with others.

My DD ate a huge range of foods. Then the class bully told her she had thunder thighs (at age 8, she was actually underweight) and she literally stopped eating. We had to do the reintroduction thing all over again.

Some people say she's fussy. I say she knows what she likes. Mainly veggie, Mexican food, curries, tomato based pasta, noodles etc. She prefers not to eat sandwiches, stews, most meats or creamy sauces. Loves a salad, but not lettuce. Loves a fajita but won't eat a cold wrap for lunch. Wouldn't eat cooked carrots for years but recently come back to them.

You just have to go with the flow.

And OP, I have a fussy eater with complicated allergies, so won't be able to eat most of things offered, but never in million years tell the others to change the place you go to. My dc has been to many places for birthday parties, including adult ones. I always contact the place, and check if there are something they can eat, or get a permission to bring something in. Never had any problems.

Hi everyone, as this thread has developed into more of a discussion about parenting/children's eating habits, I just wanted to clarify that I was in no way encouraging the bashing of parents for their children's eating habits. Rather, I was questioning the contents of the average children's menu (lack of variety). Although, I think the restaurant I chose is definitely one of the better ones, hence why I was surprised when SIL seemed to disapprove!

Yes op, you have come across as a very nice person who cares, nothing else. Sorry your thread has been derailed, it's kind of passionate topic for some of us. Enjoy your birthday.

It’s interesting and brave to come onto a parenting forum when you aren’t a parent

I love Mumsnet and I'm actually a fairly long time poster. Thanks to the 99% of you who accept non parents on here by default, and sorry to the 1 percent who feel the need to question it! I name changed because I felt it could be outing, but I know that SIL isn't on here anyway.

@xolotltezcatlopoca Thanks! It's nice to host a "healthy" discussion... Pardon the pun

In my experience anyway, it doesn't matter how varied a diet you offer, how much you involve your child in cooking or how laid-back you are. If your child is fussy there is not much in reality you can do about it

This may be the case in your situation but I’ve been to social events where children have been up for trying something new and the parent has kiboshed it by saying “ I don’t think you’ll like it” so the kid doesn’t try it ( an olive) and then believes they don’t like it. So don’t try and persuade us that ALL fussy kids are being offered a wide range of foods and rejecting them on their own. In some cases it’s the parents limited palette or narrow definition of what children will like.

I remember my mum discouraging me from trying a praline shell chocolate because it was "probably too grown up-tasting". I loved it! Now I realise she just didn't want us to steal them from her, haha. I also have friends that tell their kids something is too spicy (when there is no spice in it at all) for the same reason. I think that's rather funny really!

"So don’t try and persuade us that ALL fussy kids are being offered a wide range of foods and rejecting them on their own."

I agree, so please don't try to persuade us parents with fussy eaters that it's because of our sub par parenting either.

My kids have always just eaten what the adults have unless it's a good place with mini adult dishes for the kids - i'm really not into 'kids menu' crap. Doesnt matter where you go it's the same bland cheap rubbish. Maybe that's the issue - they want bland cheap rubbish and this restaurant isnt like that. I have one that will eat anything not tied down and one that has allergies but we always have a choice they are happy with.

Your birthday your choice. She can like it or lump it.

I have an extremely fussy eater too. But you know what I would do. I would suck it up and feed my child at home and they can have a desert . Your sil needs a grip and some manners. It's your birthday, she can make a plan and teach her kids that not everything revolves around them.

I would go to the restaurant you want to go to.

My son has extreme food issues and if we need to go to a restaurant that serves food he won't eat, then we either just order a dessert or call the restaurant and explain that he is disabled and can we bring something with us from home (and suffer the eyerolls from judgier customers!)

For those of you who do judge children and adults with extreme food issues, try and have a more empathetic frame of mind. Some children are just, 'a bit picky' or going through a phase...but others, like ds, have serious ongoing food aversions and it is incredibly hard for them and their families.

@rayoflightboy

I find parents who say their kids wont eat anything are usually the kids that will eat it.Its usually the parents dont like that food,and try and blame the kids.

I wish people wouldn’t say stuff like this. I love all kinds of (vegetarian) food, spicy or not. My 9yo DS will only eat one type of bread, breakfast waffles, pasta with tomato sauce and chips. And some fruit and chocolate. I have tried everything. He will cry and go hungry rather than eat something he doesn’t like the look or texture of. There will be other parents and children like us.

I don't the op or her sister in law need to worry, a Mexican restaurant has such a varied menu the children are bound to find at least one thing they like, especially when they see it being delivered to tables. It smells nice too.

If my children don’t like a menu for a function I would feed them beforehand and they then have a side or something at the restaurant and dessert.

@RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime It's true for me.