To feel envious

[NiknicK]

So a friend of mine told me last night that her parents are having her 3 children for the entire 6 week summer holidays and are taking them on holiday for 3 of those weeks. I’m happy for my friend that she’ll get to relax and enjoy having some time to herself and with her DH but wow I’m so jealous. I have 2 dc and my parents wouldn’t so much as mind them for a couple of hours so that me and my dh could go out for dinner, never mind take them on holiday or have them in the summer holidays while me and their dad work. Before I get flamed I realise that it’s not my DP’s job to have my kids, but I can’t help feel a bit sad when I see my friends children getting to have quality time with their grandparents when mine don’t get the same, and my friend getting a well deserved break, which I feel me and dh never get. I’m exhausted and come September after six months of WFH and home schooling I’ll be even more a wreck.

We used to go for 3 weeks summer camps and then 2 weeks with one set of GP. Occasionally extra week of camp there and there.

You are being bit about the 18 thing. There will really not be any difference mentally between when he is 17 and when he is 18... I get there is an SN in play, but that also doesn't change just because of this miniscule age difference

I think you'll find the old saying you reap what you sow is true in this situation. My parents came out with every excuse not to look after our children when they were small. My DPs step mum on the other hand, who lives 3 hours away was always willing to help. Now the children are older we frequently hire a large cottage and spent the weekend with stepmum and her other grandchildren. My mother can't work out why we don't do the same with her.

How old are the friend's kids? for all you know they are rolling their eyes and moaning about having to go to the GPs when all they want to do is stay home in bed until lunch and hang out with mates later.

The grass isn't always greener.

I get what you're saying OP. Whilst the full holidays away from the kids is a bit much, I'd love my parents to say 'Can we take the kids away for a few days?'

It wouldn't necessarily be for my rest (although I really would've appreciated it when they were toddlers, not going to lie!), but because they don't seem to have the bond with my parents that I had with my grandparents. I loved staying overnight with both my sets of grandparents, and alternated between them every weekend. My kids will never have those memories that I have.

OP have you ever discussed it with your parents? The fact that they regularly left you because they needed a break, but don't think you need the same respite? They'd only need to look after your younger one, as your eldest is old enough to stay home on his own. Seems quite selfish to never offer. We have 3 young dc and ageing grandparents so it's not really an option for us. It upsets me sometimes, but we chose this life, so can't really complain!

It doesnt make sense that you wouldnt leave him with his 17yo brother who lives with him and understands his needs better than people who randomly see him and dont have first hand experience.
I agree with the martyr comments.

It’s really sad when grandparents won’t help when they could.

I’m not saying they’re being unreasonable, but nevertheless it’s sad.

For me personally, I consider my parenting role to last forever. But I’m lucky to come from a generation where becoming a parent is more of a free choice than it used to be.

It would break my heart to see my dc struggling, however old they are. But many parents including my own don’t see it that way. Tbh they didn’t really want to be parents in the first place.

Also, when you have young kids, 24 hours away is a break!

It doesn't need to be a three day weekend.

Someone offering to give you a 24 hour break would make a difference.

I can't imagine, if I was able, not wanting to see my children, with young children have an over nighter.

Seems very detached not to want to do that for them occasionally.

@Caselgarcia exactly, you reap what you sow. They chose to be that way