Newborn first night HELP

[BakerlooLine]

Posting for traffic. Just came home with my newborn today. DH and I are both exhausted from no sleep for 3 nights in postnatal after a stressful c-section. (DH was allowed into hospital due to unusual medical conditions). DH was up all night last night so that I could finally get some rest. He has just fallen asleep even though he was worried about doing that.

Tonight baby wouldn't settle in next to me crib and is currently not latching either (am expressing for now) so I don't know how to comfort him. Have tried everything.

I managed to swaddle him (not up to arms/shoulders) in a muslin that smells familiar and after a couple of hours got him calm and sleeping in the next to me crib.

Now I'm lying here trying to stay awake as I'm scared in case I've done it wrong. I am terrified to switch off the light and go to sleep in case he stops breathing. I've realised that in postnatal one of us was always awake. Is it normal for the couple to both go to sleep? What if the baby doesn't wake up for feeds? Should i set an alarm? I can't believe I've never thought about this!

Sorry for all the questions but I didn't know I'd feel like this. I'm lying here trying to pinch myself to stay awake, with the bedside light on and watching the baby's breathing like a hawk.

Can I say that if you get an owlet sleep sock that might help you not worry about the potential for not breathing? My little one was under 6lb when born so couldn’t use it straight away but when she did it did help us a bit. We also use a next to me. She’s now 8 months and I find that I sleep well but still wake up when I sense any danger (eg when she rolls into front even though she can roll back it bugs me). I would say don’t be too rigid with the feeds - like I cried soo much when we couldn’t get her to wake up for a feed at one point but don’t go too long either. Try and get some sleep but there will be long nights as she will still have day night confusion. One night we had 5 hours of awake time 11 to 4 and it was so so hard and I was googling everything under the sun. It does get better though.

Oh OP I remember these days - the first few weeks were horrendous. I was so exhausted and absolutely terrified to sleep - it is ok for you both to sleep but it is also terrifying
No advice just and watch out for the emotional dip that comes around now. Congrats x

Put your phone away. Turn off the light. Close your eyes and rest. Just quiet breaths in and out. Slow.

Yes, of course its normal for all three of you to sleep at the same time. When the baby wants a feed he'll wake you up.