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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask DD's keyworker if she'll babysit overnight?

85 replies

JammyGem · 11/07/2020 17:16

DD (20 months) has been at nursery for nearly a year, and is incredibly close to her keyworker - they've been called 'best friends' and the 'terrible twosome' etc. by other staff Grin DD was over the moon to see her again when the nursery reopened last month.

DH and I have won an overnight stay in a few months' time (covid-depending of course) for the two of us but we don't really know anyone in our city who could look after DD overnight. Would it be weird to ask DD's keyworker if she'd be able to babysit for us? We'd obviously pay her and sort out everything, but I didn't know if it went against nursery etiquette? She's so lovely and really good with DD so I don't want to make her uncomfortable at all. It's just that the only other people who could look after DD are my parents on the other side of the country, and I'd feel much more comfortable having someone she (and we) know looking after her.

I've checked the nursery policy and it just says that any arrangements are personal and they aren't liable.

I'm probably massively overthinking this. Are you even allowed to have someone babysit overnight? It would be a much-needed break for me and DH, but DD obviously has to come first so I want to do right by her.

OP posts:
Yorkiee · 11/07/2020 18:46

I think this is a great idea. At least she knows your DD.

Poppyismyfavourite · 11/07/2020 18:47

Definitely ask - just be polite and make it easy for her to say no.
I used to be a beaver scout leader and babysat quite a few of them - it was great as they already knew me and were used to me being an authority. Often they'd be super keen to show me a pet or something that they'd told me about at beavers!

fullofhope100 · 11/07/2020 18:48

What @Grobagsforever said. Your DD's keyworker will (if she's not too exhausted from working all week) will love to see your little one and be very glad for the cash too.
Enjoy your time away together xx

2bunny · 11/07/2020 18:50

Rainycloudyday
I can say I get paid more that £5per hour and some sweets, so what your saying is all the years I have put into training and becoming a professional in my field I should just go babysit in my own time not spending time with my own family so the parents can go out and get p#@*ed

LaurieMarlow · 11/07/2020 18:53

Very normal practice in every nursery I’ve ever had dealings with.

Ilovesandwiches · 11/07/2020 18:54

I’m a nursery practitioner myself and can completely understand why you would want to ask, sounds like they’re great with your DC. however I personally wouldn’t, and know a lot who would agree that they would be happy to babysit but not over night. Xx

fullofhope100 · 11/07/2020 18:57

@TenShortStories

Given the mixed responses i think it's all in how you word it. Something like this would be OK I think:

"Hi X, we were wondering if any extra work caring for dd outside nursery hours would be something you're interested in? There's no pressure at all to say yes, but we wanted to give you first refusal as you already have such a lovely relationship with her and she's really comfortable with you. If you are interested, it would be an overnight on x date and you would just need to let us know your fee. If not, hope you have a great weekend and see you soon! "

Spot on!
uselessdiyer · 11/07/2020 18:57

@2bunny

Rainycloudyday I can say I get paid more that £5per hour and some sweets, so what your saying is all the years I have put into training and becoming a professional in my field I should just go babysit in my own time not spending time with my own family so the parents can go out and get p#@*ed
Wow what a bizarre response! 😂 nobody forces you, it's a simple, reasonable question. I'm just really confused how you would be offended. It's not like the service would be free. And the OP deserves a break. If she wants to go out with her husband and pay a babysitter to look after her child who are you to say she shouldn't?
Northernsoullover · 11/07/2020 18:59

My sons nursery staff were always babysitting.

BeeBeep · 11/07/2020 18:59

I can say I get paid more that £5per hour and some sweets, so what your saying is all the years I have put into training and becoming a professional in my field I should just go babysit in my own time not spending time with my own family so the parents can go out and get p#@ed*

No one is forcing you to. Many people choose to as the families trust them and they have the relevant first aid quals etc, many parents at my son's nursery pay around £15 an hour, I wouldn't mind that if I was on close enough minimum wage to be honest.

xolotltezcatlopoca · 11/07/2020 19:00

I wouldn't do it personally. What if something happens? Are they insured to baby sit over night? Isn't that going to complicate things with nursery if not?

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 11/07/2020 19:03

When my dc were at nursery they specifically offered this service- you booked through the nursery but paid the staff member directly. Was quite good as they were clearly v trustworthy but a bit more expensive.

2bunny · 11/07/2020 19:04

@uselessdiyer if the fact the people think it ok to ask and that it expected we should just say yes because we choose to work with children i find it rude, i wouldn't ask my dentist to come brush my teeth for me at home and I pay him a 5er just because that his job

Gottalovesummer · 11/07/2020 19:07

I'm a childminder and babysit for all my families. It's a great solution as they have someone they know and trust and the children love the novelty of me putting them to bed and reading bedtime stories.

The extra cash is very useful as childcare is not well paid.

I've never done an overnight but I would if asked.

NerrSnerr · 11/07/2020 19:09

@2bunny It is absolutely fine not to babysit outside of your job- no one said you have to. At the nursery I use they periodically send an email out saying 'Jenny, Tina and Lucy are available to babysit outside their working hours and to speak to them directly if this interests you' I doubt anyone is forcing them and they're just looking for some extra income.

bettsbattenburg · 11/07/2020 19:13

I absolutely would not do this. An overnight stop with a child who I work with professionally? No - if you were unhappy with some aspect of it and complained to my work I could be in serious trouble, some people (not saying you would do this OP) would be malicious enough to frame it as a safe guarding complaint.

2bunny · 11/07/2020 19:14

I just find it rude and that's just my opinion I have never worked in a nursery where any member of staff have been asked, but if others want to in their own time thats fine but I just hope they are getting paid well above what they are earning as it unsociable hours and they are getting some who is qualified and trained in first aid and all the rest

lockdownparty · 11/07/2020 19:15

@2bunny No ones forcing anyone. The ladies at both nurseries my son has gone to handed out their phone numbers to parents and said they were available for babysitting. We only took them up on it once but I believe it's very common for nursery workers, nannies and childminders to babysit mainly because they're someone parents can trust.

lockdownparty · 11/07/2020 19:17

@2bunny and they'll be getting paid whatever they ask for.

Strange to consider being offered paid work as an insult.

thunderthighsohwoe · 11/07/2020 19:17

DD’s old keyworker (from when she was in the baby room; now moved to toddlers) was always offering herself for babysitting to make some cash. If we didn’t have MIL on tap we’d have absolutely taken her up on it.

Might be more the younger ones who are keen to make the cash? DD’s new keyworker has a toddler herself so obviously doesn’t want to offer herself up for any more exhaustion 😂

Ladybirdlashes · 11/07/2020 19:18

I would ask at pick up if she or anybody else does any babysitting as you’ve got an overnight thing and would like somebody who you could trust. By asking if she or anybody else does you’re not putting pressure on her specifically and even if she would rather not she may recommend somebody else your dd knows through nursery.

Jupin · 11/07/2020 19:19

I used to work in nursery (it was 10 years ago now) but two of the women I worked with occasionally babysat the children, so I would ask. I don’t think it’s rude... I had a couple of children I had particularly bonded with there and would have loved to have babysat them... definitely no harm in asking!

WeAllHaveWings · 11/07/2020 19:26

Ask her if she can recommend a babysitter that does overnights, that gives her the opportunity to put herself forward if she wants to and no pressure if she doesn't.

The staff at ds nursery used to do it, especially younger staff, but they were around £12/hr (over 10 years ago), so it made for quite an expensive night out. Never had anyone overnight.

2bunny · 11/07/2020 19:34

@weallhavewings I think that the best comment and fair

Littleposh · 11/07/2020 20:00

My sister in law has been a nursery worker for over 10 years, she has always babysat for her work kids and still does occasionally even though she has 2 of her own now.

If you want to get them onside then leave snacks/takeaway money or give them a bottle of wine when they are finished, good sitters are hard to find expecially trained in childcare and first aid

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