to ask DD's keyworker if she'll babysit overnight?

[JammyGem]

DD (20 months) has been at nursery for nearly a year, and is incredibly close to her keyworker - they've been called 'best friends' and the 'terrible twosome' etc. by other staff DD was over the moon to see her again when the nursery reopened last month.

DH and I have won an overnight stay in a few months' time (covid-depending of course) for the two of us but we don't really know anyone in our city who could look after DD overnight. Would it be weird to ask DD's keyworker if she'd be able to babysit for us? We'd obviously pay her and sort out everything, but I didn't know if it went against nursery etiquette? She's so lovely and really good with DD so I don't want to make her uncomfortable at all. It's just that the only other people who could look after DD are my parents on the other side of the country, and I'd feel much more comfortable having someone she (and we) know looking after her.

I've checked the nursery policy and it just says that any arrangements are personal and they aren't liable.

I'm probably massively overthinking this. Are you even allowed to have someone babysit overnight? It would be a much-needed break for me and DH, but DD obviously has to come first so I want to do right by her.

I work in a nursery and would find this degrading as all you see of me is that I'm a babysitter

My dsis used nursery staff as babysitters, it seemed pretty normal practice.
It isn't about only seeming them as only babysitters so much as seeing them as trustworthy people who your dc know and like.
If she doesn't want the work she can just say no.

All I can say is this OP

I know 3 nursery staff, 5 teachers and 3 TAs on a close/personal level.

And every single one of them hates being asked by parents to babysit. I'm not sure if it's just them but I doubt it.

My best friend is a hairdresser and she gets fed up of people asking her to cut their hair outside of her working hours too.

It's fine if the nursery allows it. I worked in a nursery years ago and it was allowed for a while then stopped. I babysat a few times for a little girl but stopped when I had my own kids. I would never have agreed to overnight though but that's just me.

Family use two nursery employees for baby sitting they like the extra money, the nursery is ok with this. I would go for it, as you say the children adore them.

I worked in a pre school and would regularly babysit when asked,its a good arrangement for both. I even went abroad for with one of my families as a 'Nanny' for two weeks . Two weeks in the sun and got paid! No harm in asking

It’s fine to ask.

I think it's fine to ask for babysitting but I'm not sure if asking for overnight care is a bit much.

Absolutely fine and very wise to choose someone your child is so comfortable with.

It's fine to ask for babysitting, think it might be a bit much to ask for overnight.
Would she then have to stay in your house? That feels a bit awkward.
Won't hurt to ask though I suppose.

Absolutely fine to ask her casually if she does baby sitting/overnights and what her rates are before committing.

I wouldn’t ask out right I’d ask if she ever does babysitting to start with otherwise she might feel she has no choice but to say yes if you put her on the spot.
Bit awkward to expect her to have her overnight at yours though, espically for the first time.

Given the mixed responses i think it's all in how you word it. Something like this would be OK I think:

"Hi X, we were wondering if any extra work caring for dd outside nursery hours would be something you're interested in? There's no pressure at all to say yes, but we wanted to give you first refusal as you already have such a lovely relationship with her and she's really comfortable with you. If you are interested, it would be an overnight on x date and you would just need to let us know your fee. If not, hope you have a great weekend and see you soon! "

Definitely ask. My sister is a room leader and her and almost all the staff babysit for parents on weekends/overnight etc as the parents know and trust them, as do the children. Perfectly normal request.

As an ex nursery worker, there is no harm in asking.
I personally didn't babysit but other staff did.
You could either ask the nursery manager if you could put a notice up asking for a babysitter. Or ask the keyworker but word it so it is fine to say no. Something like "I am looking for an occasional babysitter, I wonder if you or one of your colleagues would be interested?"
That way she could easily say, "I don't babysit but x does" without feeling awkward.

I’ve had a keyworker babysit for us, but I do think overnight is a step too far. Looking after a child for a few hours is very different to overnight in a strange house

There’s no harm in asking
I know plenty of nursery staff that do babysitting
Personally, I would not do it because I don’t need the money and I like to separate work and home

I think it would be fine to ask, but going by a couple of the responses here it might be wise to phrase it in such a way that the worker feels comfortable to say no and that makes it clear you're asking her because of the bond she has with your child, rather than because you see her as 'just a babysitter'.

@2bunny

I work in a nursery and would find this degrading as all you see of me is that I'm a babysitter

Genuine question-how is paying for professional childcare in the day any different to paying for professional childcare overnight? If they offer you £5 and a bag of sweets for your trouble then perhaps be offended but offering a fair adult wage for the same job you do in the day....I struggle to work out how anyone can take offence at that

We have used a nursery staff member for babysitting previously. It works really well. I would advise approaching the nursery manager first and asking if any of the staff do babysitting as that will put you in the picture as to whether this is happening already and if the nursery have any policy on it. In fact it might be worth checking the nursery Ts and Cs as it’s mentioned in ours. If your key worker does it then it would be logical that the nursery manager would point you straight to her.

I think all the staff at our nursery do babysitting, I've not had one overnight but plenty of times for evenings out (back when those sort of things happened!)

It's fine. Iv used 3 different daycares over the years and staff in each one have done private babysitting and overnight arrangements

I work in a nursery and would find this degrading as all you see of me is that I'm a babysitter

These two replies show why asking anyone other than the person involved is going to get you anywhere. The only way to find out is to ask her nicely

My son had a 1:1 at preschool (he has sen).i asked her privately would she like to babysit and she did. All was well

We use the key worker at our nursery to babysit - it’s actually a very common arrangement. She’s actually the only non family member that we use.
Don’t feel embarrassed about asking, but maybe do a few evenings before you go straight into the overnight.

Rather than ask the key worker directly and potentially embarrass her if she's not interested, why not tell her about the overnight you've won and ask her if she's able to recommend someone to look after your DD overnight? That gives her the opportunity to put herself forward, recommend someone else or say unfortunately she doesn't know anyone.

My best friend is a hairdresser and she gets fed up of people asking her to cut their hair outside of her working hours too.

I can see why that's annoying if people expect it doing for free, my friend happily does haircuts for people, we sometimes make a night of it and she does ours and we pay as much as we would at a salon.

OP I wouldn't dive in with will you do this overnight, just ask if she does babysitting at all, most do as nursery pay is crap. I don't get why people would be offended to be honest